Win Your Spouse Back - March 25, 2009

Scripture: (Judg 19:1-3 NKJV) And it came to pass in those days, when there was no king in Israel, that there was a certain Levite staying in the remote mountains of Ephraim. He took for himself a concubine from Bethlehem in Judah. {2} But his concubine played the harlot against him, and went away from him to her father's house at Bethlehem in Judah, and was there four whole months. {3} Then her husband arose and went after her, to speak kindly to her and bring her back, having his servant and a couple of donkeys with him. So she brought him into her father's house; and when the father of the young woman saw him, he was glad to meet him.

Observation: This is one of the strangest stories in the entire Bible. A Levite set out to win back the love of a woman, but when the men of the city wanted to have sex with the Levite, instead he gave them his woman for then to do with her as they wished. After an entire night of abuse, the woman died, the Levite took her home, cut her in pieces, and sent the pieces throughout Israel seeking justice.
When sin controls people, they will stop at nothing until their sinful desires are met. Not only were they trying to do what God calls unnatural (Romans 1) by having homosexual relations, but also by abusing this woman to the point of death.
On the other hand, if we can look for something positive in this story, it is the Levite’s actions and words to win this woman back related at the beginning of the story.

Application: Even though the woman played the harlot and left him the Levite went to look for her, to speak kindly to her, and to bring her back. These three steps can also be critically important to win your wife back after you have caused harm any kind of pain – like speaking harshly to her, being unkind to her, betraying her trust in you. Let’s look at the three steps:
1. He went after her. He took the initiative. In the same way, if you have done or said anything that hurt your spouse, don’t ignore it as if it would go away on its own, or don’t expect the other to forget it as if nothing had happened. Take the initiative to go to your spouse and make things right with them. Apologize, ask their forgiveness, make every effort to make things better in the future.
2. He spoke kindly to her. Don’t make things worse by denying what happened or by becoming defensive. A recognition of what you did and kind words can go a lot farther in the healing process.
3. He brought her back. It’s not enough to just get back to normal but to establish a new, better normal I your relationship with your spouse.
We can make our relationships better and win back our spouse, if we are sincere in our desire and honest with our feelings, and if our attitude and actions show them we indeed love them and want the best for them.

Prayer: Father, we praise You and thank You for your gift of our spouse; may we treat them accordingly.