Love for a Lifetime

Better than Saying Anything - June 6, 2009

2009-06-06T04:19:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (Job 14:12-15 NKJV) So man lies down and does not rise. Till the heavens are no more, They will not awake Nor be roused from their sleep. {13} "Oh, that You would hide me in the grave, That You would conceal me until Your wrath is past, That You would appoint me a set time, and remember me! {14} If a man dies, shall he live again? All the days of my hard service I will wait, Till my change comes. {15} You shall call, and I will answer You; You shall desire the work of Your hands.

Observation: It is now time for Zophar, the third of Job’s consolation friends, to try to straighten him up. Job responds to his accusations by declaring that he feels there’s nothing he could do to fight God, if God were angry with Him. In chapter 13, verses 20-27 we can read his stirring, heart-felt prayer to God, opening his heart to Him. And then in chapter 14, he expounds as to his understanding of what happens when a person dies; here are a few examples of his theology of the state of the dead:
10 But man dies and is laid away; Indeed he breathes his last And where is he?
11 As water disappears from the sea, And a river becomes parched and dries up,
12 So man lies down and does not rise. Till the heavens are no more, They will not awake Nor be roused from their sleep.
21 His sons come to honor, and he does not know it; They are brought low, and he does not perceive it.

He also expresses His hope in God and for the salvation He offers us all: My transgression is sealed up in a bag, And You cover my iniquity.(v.17)

Application: It’s amazing how well-intentioned, yet heartless, Job’s friends are. They see their friend suffering through all of his losses, and yet instead of helping him through these tragedies, they assume the judgmental stand that wants to set people right and they set out to prove to Job that all he’s experiencing is the result of his own sin, and he would only repent, God might just forgive him. Their accusations do not bring any consolation to Job. In the same way, well-intentioned friends and relatives feel compelled to say something to their loved ones or friends who are terminally ill or who have lost a loved one, and at times use old cliches or explanations that do nothing to alleviate the pain. The result may be more pain, more confusion, or if they are fortunate enough, they may not even remember what has been said. When you think of it, no explanation, no matter how good or theologically correct it may be, can take away a person’s pain. What good is it to say to a mother who’s lost their child in a tragic accident, “God has a plan for you”? Or how does it help someone dying of a terminal illness, “I know how you feel”? Or how can it possibly help your widowed friend to hear the words, “One day you may find somebody else who’ll make you happy again”?
Several years ago I wrote an article which was published by the Adventist Review giving practical steps to take to help a friend or loved one who is dying of a terminal illness. Here are the suggestions I offered:

1. The ministry of presence. Most people feel uncomfortable, maybe even afraid, to talk about death and dying. Therefore, when they hear that a friend, loved one, coworker, or schoolmate has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, they stay away. In reality, what you say is not what matters to the terminally ill person or their family, but rather the fact that you cared enough to come be with them. However, respect their privacy and always call beforehand. If they are in a hospital, you must not only respect visiting hours but also be conscious of the fact that those visiting hours may be the only time the family gets to spend with their loved ones. Make your visits brief.
2. Listen. More important than what you say is how much you listen. While most people's greatest fear is not knowing what to say, if you go prepared to listen and let the terminally ill lead in the conversation, you might find that death is not all that's on their mind. They just want someone to talk to.
3. Empathize, don't proselytize. If the person who is dying does not share your beliefs, this is not the time to try to convert them to your belief system; to do so may cause more anxiety than assurance. For instance, several of my patients talked about going to heaven after their death. Rather than lecturing on the state of the dead, I would say something like "As Christians we have a special hope, don't we?" or "That's a comforting thought, isn't it?"
4. Offer practical help. Many people take the easy way out at the end of a visit with the standard offer "If there's anything I can do, just let me know." The reality is that during these difficult times the challenge for the patient includes thinking about what needs to be done or asking someone to do it. It would be better to offer to do specific things for them--mow the lawn, wash clothes, or run errands such as grocery shopping. Sometimes an offer to stay with the person who is ill to relieve the caregiver for a few hours can be the welcome help they need.
5. Watch for special events. People who are terminally ill seem to have control over when, where, and how they die. One of my patients waited until the day after his daughter's birthday, and the night he died he was so restless that his wife decided to sleep in the living room. When she woke up the next morning, he was dead. He had chosen not to die before or on his daughter's birthday, and he didn't want his wife to see him die. Others wait for loved ones' or their own birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, baptisms, weddings, and other special occasions. Be aware of this fact as it may help you get an idea of when they might die.
6. Fear of dying or of death. One of my patients told me he was afraid. I asked him if he was afraid of death or of dying. He said, "I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to die in pain." Most people are afraid of the dying process, and not of death itself. In his case I assured him that we in hospice would do all in our power to keep him comfortable and without pain or discomfort. That assurance helped him relax and enjoy the last few days of his life. If the person you're visiting expresses such fears, clarify what the source of their fear is, and if they are uncomfortable or unable to answer, ask someone else who may be better able to answer.
7. Help them to die in peace. In hospice we have learned that those patients who struggle the most in their dying process seem to be the ones who have strained relationships with someone. It may help them to ask, "Is there someone you would like to see or talk to?" Offer to contact the person they'd like to speak with. If the other person is not willing to speak with the terminally ill patient, you can facilitate the expression of their feelings by offering options such as, "If you could talk to them, what would you tell them?" You may offer to help them write a letter that they can then choose to mail or burn, thus symbolizing their having taken the step of reconciliation. Many patients wait to die until after they see someone they care about, so you could offer to help make the contact.
Another way to help them die in peace is to pray for and with them. The medical field has come to recognize the benefits of praying for those who are ill. We need not feel the obligation to pray for healing; it does not reveal a lack of faith, but recognition of the inevitable. When I pray with and for members or patients who are terminally ill, I pray for comfort and peace, courage and strength, hope and renewal of love for themselves and for their loved ones.

Instruments of Peace
Dying can be a difficult and painful experience, or a special memory for their loved ones. You can be instrumental in making it as comfortable and comforting as possible by carefully doing for them what they need as they write the last chapter in their earthly life.

Prayer: Father, help us to be such instruments in Your hands that we may bring Your comfort, not so much by what we say but rather by what we do to help those experiencing illness, sadness, or pain.

Talk Grief Away - June 5, 2009

2009-06-05T05:48:00.000-07:00

Scripture: (Job 10:1 NKJV) "My soul loathes my life; I will give free course to my complaint, I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.

Observation: Bildad, the Shuhite, one of Job’s friends who came to be with him in his sorrow, attempted to “correct” Job and to show him where he was wrong. Job responds from the depths of his pain.

Application: In talking about “The Inner World of Grief,” Elizabeth Kubler-Ross encourages those in bereavement to talk about their grief and to talk about their loss and their loved one who is no longer with them. I will quote her words: THE STORY
When your loved one became sick, there were medical visits, case histories, and physical tests. Then they found the lump and your world immediately began to change. (62)
Now you sit alone remembering the story of your loss. You may find yourself retelling the story to friends and family. Immediately following the loss, everyone wants to know how it happened. You tell your tale through your sadness and tears. You talk about it after the funeral. When friends come to visit, you discuss the parts of the story you continue to grapple with, like “I didn’t see it coming,” or “They told us she was sick, but none of us realized just how sick she was.” (62)
As time passes, however, you may see others grow weary of hearing the story, although you are not yet tired of telling it. You may not consciously notice this, but when you encounter people who haven’t heard it you are grateful to have their ear. (62)
Telling the story is part of the healing of a traumatic event, no different from the trauma of large-scale disaster. (62)
While you try to comprehend and make sense of something incomprehensible and your heart feels the pain of loss, your mind lags behind, trying to integrate something new into your psyche. It is something that moved too fast for your mind to understand. The pain is in your heart, while your mind lingers in the facts of the story, reenacting and recalling the scene of the crime against your heart. Your heart and mind are joined in one state, pain remembering pain. (63)
Telling the story helps to dissipate the pain. Telling your story often and in detail is primal to the grieving process. You must get it out. Grief must be witnessed to be healed. Grief shared is grief abated. Support and bereavement groups are important, not only because they allow you to be with others who have experienced loss, but because they provide another forum for talking about the devastating events that befell your world. Tell your tale, because it reinforces that your loss mattered. (63)
You will find the story changing over time; not necessarily what happened, but what part you focus on. Telling the story may also offer the opportunity for important feedback or information, as the listener may have missing pieces of the puzzle or insight you previously lack. (63)
The stories we tell give meaning to the fact that our loved one died, which is why, in American Indian cultures, stories are given the highest priority. In fact, the function of the elderly is to tell the stories of the lives and deaths of the ancestors, the stories that keep their history alive. (64)
Our stories contain an enormous amount of pain, sometimes too much for one person to handle. In sharing our story, we dissipate the pain little by little, giving a small drop to those we meet to disperse it along the way. (65)
Sometimes a loss is so great, you need a larger platform. Sometimes people create videos, write stories about books. (65)

Some speak about their losses to groups. (66)
When someone is telling you their story over and over, they are trying to figure something out. There has to be a missing piece or they too would be bored. Rather than rolling your eyes and saying “there she goes again,” ask questions about parts that don’t connect. Be the witness and even the guide. Look for what they want to know. (66)

When I worked or volunteered as a Hospice Chaplain, and later as a Grief and Bereavement Counselor, I reminded my families or clients what I once heard, that Pain Shared Is Pain Divided. When we talk about our loss, our pain, our loved ones, we are sharing the load with others who are stronger than we are at that point and who, hopefully, by listening can help us carry that heavy load until we are able to stand again on our own.
I have been asked often by people who want to help their friends or loved ones who are terminally ill or who have experienced a loss (a relative, their job, their house, etc.) what they should say to them. They’re afraid to go visit their friend or loved one because, “I just don’t know what to say.” What I always tell them is, “The best thing you can do for them is not what you say but that you are willing to just listen.”
Bildad, Job’s friend, got many things wrong, both about Job and about God. But the one thing he did get right were his words: “He will yet fill your mouth with laughing, And your lips with rejoicing” (Job 8:21 NKJV). There will be a time when your friends or loved ones are ready to listen to words of encouragement and hope, and they will appreciate you reminding them that death is not forever, that grief and pain are not forever, but that one day death, pain, and suffering will come to a permanent end.

Prayer: Father, thank You that while we experience pain in this life, it too will come to an end when Jesus comes. May He return soon so we can enjoy the peace and the happiness You intended from the beginning.

Cry Grief Away - June 4, 2009

2009-06-04T05:23:00.000-07:00

Scripture: (Job 7:11 NKJV) "Therefore I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.

Observation: Job’s friends came to visit him and or seven days said nothing but simply sat there with him – that’s what we call the ministry of presence. But Job’s pain was so heavy that he grieved out loud. His friends, one at a time, began to try to console him while at the same time trying to convince him of his own wrongdoing which resulted in his own problems. Job then responds with his own defense and talks more about his own pain.

Application: Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, who wrote the classic book “On Death and Dying,” followed it up with another classic, “On Grief and Grieving,” in which she speaks of, among other things, “The Inner World Of Grief.” Among other things she writes:
Everyone experiences many loses throughout life, but the death of a loved one is unmatched for its emptiness and profound sadness. Your world stops. You know the exact time your loved one died – or the exact moment you were told. It is marked in your mind. Your world takes on a slowness, a surrealness. It seems strange that the clocks in the world continue when your inner clock does not. (29)
No one can give you words to make you feel better; there are none. (29)
Your loss and the grief that accompanies it are very personal, different from anyone else’s. Others may share the experience of their losses. They may try to console you in the only way they know. But your loss stands in its meaning to you, in its painful uniqueness. (29)
We all play roles in our lives: spouse, parent, child, family member, friend. You know your loved one in a way that no one else ever did or ever will. One person’s dying touches many people in many different ways; everyone feels that loss of individually. Your task in your own mourning and grieving is to fully recognize your own loss, to see it as only you can. In paying the respect and taking the time it deserves, you bring integrity to the deep loss that is yours. (30-31)

She lists some of the experiences that form part of the task of grieving. I’d like to mention and quote her in one of them: TEARS
Tears are one of the many ways we release our sadness, one of our many wondrous built-in healing mechanisms. Unfortunately, too often we try to stop this necessary and primal release of our emotions.(42)
People. . . avoid crying for fear that they might cry forever. But of course you will stop crying, even if you don’t believe you will. The worst thing you can do is to stop short of really letting it out. Uncried tears have a way of filling the well of sadness even more deeply. If you have a half hour of crying to do, don’t stop at twenty minutes. Let yourself cry it all out. It will stop on its own. If you cry till your last tear, you will feel released. (43)
We live in a society that view tears as a weakness and a face of stone as strength. Whether you cry or not may have more to do with how you were raised than with the nature of your loss. Some of us were raised with permission to cry and others were not. For some, crying privately may be okay and crying publicly is unacceptable. Whatever you were taught, the loss of a loved one can tip the scales and bring up the tears you never thought you could cry. (44)
At times, you may start to cry as if for no reason at all. It may seem it just comes out of the blue, because you are not even consciously thinking about your loss. Unexpected tears remind you that the loss is always there. People often find they are reminded unexpectedly of a loved one and start crying in a situation they were not prepared to handle. (45)
Marion knew the importance of taking the pain inside and releasing it outside. Then she was done when her sadness was fully expressed. Unexpressed tears do not go away; their sadness resides in our bodies and souls. Tears can often be seen as dramatic, too emotional, or a sign of weakness. But in truth, they are an outward expression of inner pain. (45)
Others have their own reactions to seeing someone crying. For those around the person crying, people may feel grateful the person is able to cry. Or they may feel uncomfortable, thinking, “If they cry, I might.” Or “If Cindy, who never cries at anything, is crying, things must be really bad.” (45)
Our perception about crying is public is cultural. In some places, not crying is a sign of dignity, whereas in other cultures, not crying for the deceased is considered a sign of dishonor. (46)
Tears are a symbol of life, a part of who we are and what we feel. They live in us and through us. They represent us and reside in our pain. This symbol and representation of sadness can appear anytime. Since it is so tied to life itself, we are often surprised when laughter breaks spontaneously through tears. (46)
The humanity we witness often causes us to laugh at ourselves, but never mistake laughing through tears as a reason to feel guilty. It is the life we have, mixed with the sadness we feel. It is a fail-safe mechanism we have for managing the pain. (46)
“Everyone has to grab their own tissues.” – when someone hands them a box of tissues – while this may be an act of comfort, it often sends the message “hurry and stop crying.” Also, if we go into the role of caretaker, we avoid our own emotions. (46)
The truth is that tears are a symbol of life and can be trusted. (46)
Acceptance of death is part of the work that must be done if we are to grieve fully. If crying is part of our outer culture or inner sadness and we have tears to cry, then we should use this wonderful gift of healing without hesitation. (47)
Long periods of denial are worse than crying. Crying is much better, but you have to cry your own tears because no one can do it for you. If you see someone else crying and you cry, it is triggering some sadness you feel inside. Sometimes you’d rather cry for any situation but your own, but regardless of your preferences, you are always crying for yourself. (47)

Tears are a way to process through our grief and a healing balm to our hurting soul. In our culture, people try to refrain from crying or medicate themselves to prevent them from crying. This will cause them more pain later and more emotional difficulties.

Prayer: Father, thank you for the gift of tears which help us to process our own grief. Please bring the healing our souls need when the pain that death brings comes to our life.

Come Mourn with Me - June 3, 2009

2009-06-03T04:10:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (Job 2:11,13 NKJV) Now when Job's three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, each one came from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. For they had made an appointment together to come and mourn with him, and to comfort him. . . 13So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great.

Observation: Job had lost everything he owned, but his worst tragedy was the loss of all his children. When he became physically ill, his wife had had enough and told him to “curse God and die.” But then we read that his friends came to be with him and to comfort him, and they sat with him for seven days straight, without saying a word, just being there.

Application: One of the most tragic results from the death of a child is the demise of the marriage. Many couples simply can’t handle their pain and end up drifting apart and eventually separating and divorcing. It is very difficult to offer support and encouragement to your spouse when your own heart is breaking. At the same time, nothing can bring a couple together like experiencing a loss and growing together out of it. My wife and I have gone through the loss of my mother and both her parents, and several other family members. Those times, as difficult as they have been, have strengthened our relationship and are part of our history that keeps us together.
But there are times when we need help from outside too, and the tragic death of a loved one is a perfect time to offer or receive the comfort and encouragement of a dear, close friend. One of the questions many people have in their minds when visiting someone who’s lost a loved one is, what should I say? Job’s friends teach is a very important lesson: when visiting a grieving friend it is more important to just be there and listen than what you say. After all, what can you possibly say that would take their pain away, or make their burden any easier? But what is very therapeutic and very cathartic for them is to talk through their pain and what better person to do so but a close friend. Someone said that “pain shared is pain divided,” which means that when we share our pain with others, we all get to carry it together, which makes it easier and lighter for the one experiencing it. That’s why being there for the mourner is your gift to them, the ministry of presence. Don’t be afraid to be with those in mourning; it may be the best, most kind, and most loving thing you can do for your friend or loved one.

Prayer: Father, in the midst of our pain, you listen to us and come close to us to comfort us. Thank You for the healing You bring us through our pain.

The Way to a Man's Heart? - June 2, 2009

2009-06-02T05:14:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (Est 7:1-2 NKJV) So the king and Haman went to dine with Queen Esther. {2} And on the second day, at the banquet of wine, the king again said to Esther, "What is your petition, Queen Esther? It shall be granted you. And what is your request, up to half the kingdom? It shall be done!"

Observation: Esther was made aware of Haman’s plan to destroy the Jewish people, and after a period of fasting and prayer she invited the king, her husband to a banquet. After that banquet, she invited him to a second banquet the following night. It was at that banquet, when he was very pleased with the food, and with Esther, that she made her request on behalf of her people.

Application: It’s been said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. One of the things I appreciate about my wife is that since we were young and dating, she made efforts to learn from my mother how to cook those things that I like best. I have to say that she not only learned how to fix some very typical Colombian food, but learned to made them very well. Pretty regularly she will fix for me one of those special dishes which not only take care of my appetite but also warm my heart.
At the same time, if a woman thinks that just by feeding her husband he will love her, she’s going to find herself with a very overweight man that simply likes to have a cook living with him. It is not that men like to eat and want to have a woman to cook for them. What men like is to have a woman who loves them enough to cook for and take care of them. Statistics show that married people enjoy better health. Single men are notorious for poor health habits. Married men enjoy the benefit of a wife who cares about them, fixes healthy meals for them, encourages them to take good care of themselves by exercising, going to the doctors for regular physical, eye, and dental exams. So really, a way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach, rather, the way to a man’s heart is through her heart.

Prayer: Father, thank you for the love of a wife, expressed through good food, but also expressed through loving, caring actions for her husband.

Selfish Demands - June 1, 2009

2009-06-01T16:49:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (Est 1:10-12 NKJV) On the seventh day, when the heart of the king was merry with wine, he commanded Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, Abagtha, Zethar, and Carcas, seven eunuchs who served in the presence of King Ahasuerus, {11} to bring Queen Vashti before the king, wearing her royal crown, in order to show her beauty to the people and the officials, for she was beautiful to behold. {12} But Queen Vashti refused to come at the king's command brought by his eunuchs; therefore the king was furious, and his anger burned within him.

Observation: King Ahasuerus demanded of his wife, Queen Vashti, to come and present herself before those gathered at his party. A Bible commentary states that, “The refusal of Vashti to obey an order which required her to make an indecent exposure of herself before a company of drunken revellers, was becoming both the modesty of her sex and her rank as queen; for, according to Persian customs, the queen, even more than the wives of other men, was secluded from the public gaze. Had not the king’s blood been heated with wine, or his reason overpowered by force of offended pride, he would have perceived that his own honor, as well as hers, was consulted by her dignified conduct.”
In her devotional, Conflict and Courage, Ellen White adds, “When this command came from the king, Vashti did not carry out his orders, because she knew that wine had been freely used, and that Ahasuerus was under the influence of the intoxicating liquor. For her husband’s sake as well as her own, she decided not to leave her position at the head of the women of the court.
“It was when the king was not himself, when his reason was dethroned by wine-drinking that he sent for the queen, that those present at his feast, men besotted by wine, might gaze on her beauty. She acted in harmony with a pure conscience.
“Vashti refused to obey the king’s command, thinking that when he came to himself, he would commend her course of action. But the king had unwise advisers. They argued it would be a power given to woman that would be to her injury.” {p.243}

Application: Willard Harley, in his book, Love Busters, speaks uses that term to refer to those things that one spouse does to hurt the other and which therefore damages the romantic and caring love that should exist between them. Among those Love Busters, Harley cites Selfish Demands as one of them. He defines them as “Commanding your spouse to do things that would benefit you at your spouses expense, with implied threat of punishment if refused.” Then he goes on to say that “People who make demands don’t seem to care how others feel. If you make demands of your spouse and expect obedience, you are being controlling and manipulative. Demands are nothing short of abuse.” Instead of selfish demands, Harley suggests Thoughtful Requests – respectfully explaining to your spouse what you would like and allow your spouse the option of granting or denying your request.
Vashti’s response to the selfish demand of her husband, even if he was the king, shows that she was not pleased anymore than any spouse today would be at the selfish demands of their spouse. A thoughtful request would have a more positive reception, although it doesn’t mean the spouse has to agree, accept, or do what their spouse is asking of them. In other words, a thoughtful request may not get you what you want, but a selfish demand certainly will not promote any warm, caring feelings toward you.

Prayer: Father, selfishness and rebellion began the biggest battle ever in the universe; may they never be present in our marriage or family.

Guard the Gates - May 31, 2009

2009-05-31T05:17:00.000-07:00

Scripture: (Jer 13:19 NKJV) The cities of the South shall be shut up, And no one shall open them; Judah shall be carried away captive, all of it; It shall be wholly carried away captive.

Observation: The walls, the city, and the temple had been rebuilt, and the Law of Moses (the Torah) had been read and explained to the people who had made a new dedication of themselves to the worship of God. Now Nehemiah faced a new challenge as venders were coming to Jerusalem to sell their wares on Sabbath. Even though he had warned them before, they had continued to do so, so this time he ordered that the gates of the city be shut during the hours of the Sabbath and threaten to have them beaten if they continued to come to tempt the people by trying to sell their stuff.

Application: We have heard of “guarding the edges of the Sabbath.” Some of the most quoted words from the pen of Ellen White are: “We should jealously guard the edges of the Sabbath. Remember that every moment is consecrated, holy time.” (The Faith I live By, pg. 34) By the edges of the Sabbath we mean the beginning and the end of this special day, sundown on Friday evening to sundown on Saturday afternoon. I would not suggest we threaten our family, or anyone else, with bodily harm if they come to our house to sell something on the Sabbath or if our children are doing something that is not conducive to good Sabbath rest and fellowship. However, as parents we do have the responsibility to do all in our power to ensure that the sacred hours of the Sabbath remain untainted by outside influences.
As our girls were growing up, we switched to “Sabbath toys,” and “Sabbath music,” and “Sabbath activities,” and we enjoyed a good time of worship to “welcome the Sabbath.” We incorporated a few traditions like the lighting of the Sabbath candles (a Jewish tradition), had Mexican tostadas, and for dessert we had donuts (you know, the commandment says to keep the Sabbath “wholey”). In the more conservative Jewish households the observance of Sabbath begins about an hour before sundown as they try to protect themselves for entering carelessly into those sacred hours.
The other edge of the Sabbath, the sundown that marks its end, should also be marked with worship, and with a good time of family fellowship and prayer. There’s no need to rush “out” of the Sabbath. Again, Jewish tradition teaches that the Sabbath is finally over when at least three stars are visible in the sky. What that means is that there should be no rush to end this day but rather linger in its blessings as long as possible. In fact, there’s a certain sense of sadness to see the Sabbath come to an end as the new week begins.
The point is not to make of the Sabbath a day of rules, regulations, and prohibitions which turns it into the longest, most boring, 24 hours of the week. Maybe we could think of the gates not as something to keep negative influences out of your life but as something that helps keep the blessings in and when we keep them open the blessings of this day flow out, away from us, even as we need them so desperately after a week of battling the world and its influences. Guarding the edges of the Sabbath is like closing doors and windows in the winter months in order to keep the warmth of the home inside and the bitter cold of winter outside. I love the feeling, during the cold winter months (specially here in Minnesota), of coming home and walking in from the cold garage into the warmth of the foyer. The warmth of my house greets me as I open the door and embraces me until the next time I have to go out. And that’s how I picture the Sabbath, its warmth embracing me and protecting me from the bitter cold of the rest of the week.

Prayer: Father, thank You for the warmth and the rest of the Sabbath.

They Made it Clear

2009-05-30T05:31:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (Neh 8:8 NKJV) So they read distinctly from the book, in the Law of God; and they gave the sense, and helped them to understand the reading.

Observation: As the building of the city of Jerusalem and of the temple were finished, Nehemiah and the leaders recognized the need for a consecration of the people to God. Ezra, the scribe, stood before everyone gathered and read to them the words of the Book of the Law of Moses, the first five books of the Bible, or the Torah. As the people heard the stories and the regulations found in those books, they were moved in their hearts. But it wasn’t enough to just read the Law, the Levites helped the people to understand it by explaining its content and meaning.

Application: I encourage daily, regular reading of the Bible personally and at home. Personally, I encourage everyone to read through their Bibles every year. I have followed that practice for many years and have read through the entire Bible, in many different versions and translations, in two languages, every day of the year (with just a few exceptions), and doing so has enriched my life and opened windows of information, knowledge, and faith I might not otherwise have.
Beyond a reading of the Bible, though, there must be thoughtful study of selected passages, stories, sections of the Scriptures for deeper understanding. Also, for daily family worship, at least a portion of the Scriptures should be read and discussed. It doesn’t have to be a long theological dissertation and exegetical study of a passage, but at least a simple conversation of its meaning. Dennis Raney, Christian counselor and writer says concerning our verse for today:
It occurred to me that when we read the Bible to our families, we need to do so in a way so that we understand what we have just read, and that our children also grasp the meaning.
It’s easy to stick to the text of the Scripture and read it word for word, flying by words like reproach and exhortation – lofty words that may (or may not) be clear to us, but which leave our kids with blank looks on their faces.
When we read the Bible to your children, take the time to stop and explain the words and ideas they may have difficulty grasping. If needed, try paraphrasing the text to give them a down-home explanation of what it’s saying. Give them the freedom o stop you and ask what something means if they feel confused or stuck.
Reading and studying the Bible as a family can be a source of great blessing. But we need to make sure we aren’t just reading through it as quickly as possible, without helping everyone to understand what’s being read. (From the Family Life Marriage Bible).

Prayer: Father, help us to spend time daily with Your word, to understand it, to meditate upon it, and to spend the time teaching others what we have learned from it, and from You.

Repentance to All - May 28, 2009

2009-05-28T05:59:00.000-07:00

Scripture: (Neh 1:5-11 NKJV) And I said: "I pray, LORD God of heaven, O great and awesome God, You who keep Your covenant and mercy with those who love You and observe Your commandments, {6} "please let Your ear be attentive and Your eyes open, that You may hear the prayer of Your servant which I pray before You now, day and night, for the children of Israel Your servants, and confess the sins of the children of Israel which we have sinned against You. Both my father's house and I have sinned. {7} "We have acted very corruptly against You, and have not kept the commandments, the statutes, nor the ordinances which You commanded Your servant Moses. {8} "Remember, I pray, the word that You commanded Your servant Moses, saying, 'If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations; {9} 'but if you return to Me, and keep My commandments and do them, though some of you were cast out to the farthest part of the heavens, yet I will gather them from there, and bring them to the place which I have chosen as a dwelling for My name.' {10} "Now these are Your servants and Your people, whom You have redeemed by Your great power, and by Your strong hand. {11} "O Lord, I pray, please let Your ear be attentive to the prayer of Your servant, and to the prayer of Your servants who desire to fear Your name; and let Your servant prosper this day, I pray, and grant him mercy in the sight of this man." For I was the king's cupbearer.

Observation: Nehemiah was saddened to know the ruined condition of Jerusalem and Judah, and he recognized that it was the result of the people’s rebelliousness against God. So he prays the prayer in our text for today.

Application: Nehemiah could have prayed for deliverance for himself and his family, but instead, he recognized all of them needed to repent. At the same time, he could have prayed for forgiveness only for the people, but he was humble enough to pray for the people but also for himself.
It is interesting how at times we pray for our loved ones, which we should do, and ask God to lead them closer to Him, and to bring them to repentance and to the place where they will be ready for His soon return. But somehow we don’t always come humbly before the Lord in recognition of our own need for repentance, knowledge of God, and preparation for His return. Nehemiah prayed for his people, but humbly also prayed and confessed his own sin. And the wonderful thing is that God heard his plea and granted his prayer and Nehemiah was able to go back and lead in the rebuilding of the city and the reestablishment of the worship of God. Maybe our prayers will be the catalyst for a complete revival in our lives and in our homes, maybe even beyond to our churches and to the area where we live. . . and it all begins with being humble enough to recognize our own need for repentance and forgiveness.

Prayer: Father, we too have sinned and have turned our backs to you. Forgive our sin, cleanse us and make us new, and may the experience of conversion be ours and that of our loved ones.

Faith Through Fear - May 25, 2009

2009-05-25T06:01:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (Ezra 3:3 NKJV) Though fear had come upon them because of the people of those countries, they set the altar on its bases; and they offered burnt offerings on it to the LORD, both the morning and evening burnt offerings.

Observation: Ezra gets permission to go back to Jerusalem and start the process of rebuilding the city. He and the people encounter opposition, but they move forward and begin the restoration of the temple as they realize the importance of religion in the life of the people and of the nation.

Application: This verse jumped at me this morning. There are times when just living in this world, and all that’s available for our children to see and do, fills us with fear for them and their future. But we cannot be paralyzed with fear and do nothing. Like Ezra and the people of the time, we need to continue to move forward in the reestablishment or continuation of the worship of the Lord, both morning and evening.

Prayer: Father, nothing is a surprise to You. So knowing everything, please bless our protect our children, and make them faithful to You all the days of their lives.

Pride Consumes - May 23, 2009

2009-05-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

Scripture: (2 Chr 32:24-26 NKJV) In those days Hezekiah was sick and near death, and he prayed to the LORD; and He spoke to him and gave him a sign. {25} But Hezekiah did not repay according to the favor shown him, for his heart was lifted up; therefore wrath was looming over him and over Judah and Jerusalem. {26} Then Hezekiah humbled himself for the pride of his heart, he and the inhabitants of Jerusalem, so that the wrath of the LORD did not come upon them in the days of Hezekiah.

Observation: Hezekiah did many good things in reestablishing the worship of God and His law, but he was by no means perfect in what he did. When he was sick, he asked for healing and his prayer was answered, but as a result his heart became proud, which caused him to make mistakes that cost him and Jerusalem a great deal. Fortunately, the last we hear about Hezekiah was that he humbled himself again before God.

Application: The Soviet dissident Alexander Solzhenitsyn wrote that “Pride grows in the human heart like lard on a pig.” To which Dennis Raney added, “Pride is one of the few things that can grow in the human heart without any outside sustenance. The human race is prone to be proud.”
I’ve often wondered about this thing we call pride, and it seems to me that there is a certain amount of joy we as parents have for our children which can be considered “healthy” pride, but there is a point at which this healthy pride becomes unhealthy and it brings about painful consequences. When our children do well in school and when they are kind and polite, something good moves in our hearts. When someone makes a nice comment about our children, something good stirs inside us and gives us a warm feeling. Would that be “healthy” pride? Could we honestly say we are “proud of our children?” But when we become obsessed with our children’s accomplishments, when we want to display bumper stickers every time our children win an award or get good grades or their name appears on the dean’s list, has it or can it become unhealthy pride? Are we using our children as pawns to tell the whole world how good we are as parents and to indirectly put down every other parent and their children?
When we display pride for our children only when the accomplish something big or because of their accomplishments, we may be sending them the signal that their worth is tied to those accomplishments. Some parents live their dreams through their children and thus are very happy when their children succeed and very disappointed in them when they don’t do as they would wish them to do.
So, let’s rejoice with our children in their accomplishments, but don’t make them the goal or end of their lives. And let us not use our children to fulfill our dreams or as pawns against others so we can be exalted in our own eyes. It’s best to be humble than to be humbled.

Prayer: Father, teach us to be humble, even when our hearts burst with “healthy” pride.

It's Not Too Late - May 22, 2009

2009-05-22T04:59:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (2 Chr 31:20-21 NKJV) Thus Hezekiah did throughout all Judah, and he did what was good and right and true before the LORD his God. {21} And in every work that he began in the service of the house of God, in the law and in the commandment, to seek his God, he did it with all his heart. So he prospered.

Observation: From the time Hezekiah became king of Judah he began a reform of a spiritual nature throughout the nation but also a physical restoration of the temple and its services. Not only did he order the repair of the temple, with everyone’s contribution, but he also destroyed the worship of other gods and moved the people to rededicate themselves and their children to the worship of the true God.

Application: So you hear or read how critically important it is to lead by example in the worship of the Lord, particularly in the life of our children. And you may think that since you have not been doing it – you have not been praying with and for your children, or you have not been having daily worship with them, or you have not been spending time every day studying God’s will, seeking His will or following His commands – so you may feel guilty and maybe tempted to give up and simply continue the same pattern for your and their lives.
The story of Hezekiah’s reforms can teach us that it is never too late to begin again, it is never too late to make changes in our personal devotional life or in the family worship of our God. So why not begin today. You can talk to your family, confess that you have not been faithful to His commands in that you have not been leading them by example in the worship of God, and share with them that you intend to begin again, and to invite them to join you. Explain that you are making a new commitment to pray with and for them every day, and that you will be studying a portion of the Scriptures, and that you would like to gather with them each day to have family worship time. The honest confession on your part will show them that you’re transparent with them and are willing to show them your human nature, that you’re not perfect but also that you want to do your best under God’s guidance. Don’t let the devil defeat you and continue in the same pattern of disregard for God and His worship. Think of yourself as the Hezekiah of your home, making personal and family reforms in order to bring a revival of the faith to your family. While you may encounter some resistance, if you do it kindly and lovingly, and persevere, the results will be better than continuing to neglect your personal and your family devotional life and daily commitment to God.

Prayer: Father, forgive us for neglecting our time and communion with You and for not leading our family in a daily experience of prayer and worship with You. Help us to begin again, to make things right with You, and to bring about this reform and revival in our lives and that of our children.

God's Battle - May 19, 2009

2009-05-19T03:53:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (2 Chr 20:15 NKJV) And he said, "Listen, all you of Judah and you inhabitants of Jerusalem, and you, King Jehoshaphat! Thus says the LORD to you: 'Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God's.

Observation: The Ammonites and Moabites joined forces with other groups and came up to battle against Jesoshaphat, king of Judah. The people of Judah gathered for the battle, but before they did they sough the Lord and in the midst of that assembly Jahaziel spoke for God to encourage Jehoshaphat and the people – some of his words are the words of our text for today. Jehoshaphat, in turn, supported the words of Jahaziel by saying: “Believe in the Lord your God, and you shall be established; believe His prophets, and you shall prosper” (vs.20).

Application: As a father, sometimes it seems as if the battles we fight for our children is a losing battle. The media, friends, music, everything seems like the enemy’s forces arrayed in battle against them and we are powerless to fight them for no matter how much we do to protect them from any and all of their influence, we would have to live in a deserted island or in some cave for those influences to not reach them.
Today’s words always encourage me because I know this is not a losing battle after all. I have to commit myself and my family to the Lord, and trust that He will fight this battle for me and for them. As scary and discouraging as it may seem at times, we must leave the results to Him.

Prayer: Father, today we commit ourselves and our family to You. Fight the battle for our salvation for us and give the final victory for your Honor and glory. We long to spend eternity with You.

The Marriage and Divorce Go-round - May 17, 2009

2009-05-17T05:32:00.000-07:00

Scripture: (2 Chr 11:21 NKJV) Now Rehoboam loved Maachah the granddaughter of Absalom more than all his wives and his concubines; for he took eighteen wives and sixty concubines, and begot twenty-eight sons and sixty daughters.

Observation: Rehoboam was the king of Israel after his father Solomon passed away. This section of the Scriptures tells us that he married a number of women and also had concubines, much like his father, although not as many as Solomon. Among the wives he had, he loved Maachah, granddaughter of her uncle Absalom. As it’s often the case, since she loved Maacah most, he also preferred the son he had with her, Abijah. Rehoboam had other sons, and he placed them all in charge of several of the cities in Israel, but with Abijah he had a special plan for him to be his successor in the throne of Israel one day.

Application: God does not condone polygamy, and in most countries it is illegal. And yet we have come to accept a different form of polygamy – successive marriages, punctuated with divorces in between. As we heard the news of celebrity divorces and remarriages we used to be shocked and ashamed, now it’s become fodder for entertainment. Recently I read a book which contains some interesting facts about marriage. One of them is the number of times some famous people have been or were married. Here’s a sample:

Married Nine Times
Pancho Villa
Zsa Zsa Gabor

Married Eight Times
Elizabeth Taylor (twice to the same man)
Mickey Rooney

Married Seven Times
Lana Turner
Richard Pryor (Four times to two of the women)
Martha Raye
Stan Laurel (three times to the same woman)
Jennifer O’Neil
Larry King

Married Six Times
Johnny Weissmuller
King Henry VIII
Jerry Lee Lewis

Married Five Times
Ernest Borgnine
Heorge C. Scott (twice to the same woman)
George Peppard (twice to the same woman)
Ginger Rogers
Eva Gabor
Judy Garland
Henry Fonda
George Foreman
Tammy Wynette
Clark Gable
Richard Burton (twice to the same woman)
Billy Bob Thornton
Martin Scorsese

While some may say that it’s only celebrities that change marriage partners so often, there are others who jump in and out of marriage just as much and as quickly. Certain professions tend to lead to divorce and remarriage more often than others – law enforcement, military, entertainment, etc.
One of the interesting facts that has come out of research is that each successive marriage after divorce lasts less than the previous. In other words, if the first marriage lasted a number of years, the second will last less than the first, the third marriage will last than the second, the fourth marriage will last than the third, and so on. Instead of finding marital bliss with more successive marriages, many of these people find out they were happier with their first spouse than they were with any of the other that followed them. While there may be some romance and passion for a while on the other marriages and relationships, eventually there settles an emptiness and dissatisfaction which leads to another divorce and a search for fulfillment in yet another relationship when the key to happiness was in the first marriage.
Rather than entering the marriage and divorce go-round, make every effort to maintain your current relationship strong, look for ways to meet each others’ most important emotional needs, look for the best in each other rather than concentrate on the negative side of the other. Rather than jumping ship on your spouse thinking that someone else can make you happier, look for ways to make your spouse happy, to fulfill with them your marriage vows to live with them in sickness and in health until death do you part. Hopefully you will find more ways and reasons to stay together with your spouse rather than finding out later, two or three spouses later, that what you have now, and which you will never recover if you leave it, was better than anything you have had since.

Prayer: Father, we know you don’t accept or condone polygamy and that you hate divorce. Help us to value each other and to cultivate daily a strong marital relationship so we have the most fulfilling experience and at the same time bring the highest honor and glory to You.

Praise God for God's Will - April 15, 2009

2009-05-15T05:14:00.000-07:00

Scripture: (1 Chr 17:16-27 NKJV) Then King David went in and sat before the LORD; and he said: "Who am I, O LORD God? And what is my house, that You have brought me this far? {17} "And yet this was a small thing in Your sight, O God; and You have also spoken of Your servant's house for a great while to come, and have regarded me according to the rank of a man of high degree, O LORD God. {18} "What more can David say to You for the honor of Your servant? For You know Your servant. {19} "O LORD, for Your servant's sake, and according to Your own heart, You have done all this greatness, in making known all these great things. {20} "O LORD, there is none like You, nor is there any God besides You, according to all that we have heard with our ears. {21} "And who is like Your people Israel, the one nation on the earth whom God went to redeem for Himself as a people; to make for Yourself a name by great and awesome deeds, by driving out nations from before Your people whom You redeemed from Egypt? {22} "For You have made Your people Israel Your very own people forever; and You, LORD, have become their God. {23} "And now, O LORD, the word which You have spoken concerning Your servant and concerning his house, let it be established forever, and do as You have said. {24} "So let it be established, that Your name may be magnified forever, saying, 'The LORD of hosts, the God of Israel, is Israel's God.' And let the house of Your servant David be established before You. {25} "For You, O my God, have revealed to Your servant that You will build him a house. Therefore Your servant has found it in his heart to pray before You. {26} "And now, LORD, You are God, and have promised this goodness to Your servant. {27} "Now You have been pleased to bless the house of Your servant, that it may continue before You forever; for You have blessed it, O LORD, and it shall be blessed forever."

Observation: David wanted to build God’s temple and told so to Nathan the prophet who encouraged him to do so. That night God told Nathan to tell David not to build Him the temple he intended to. David’s response is our Scripture for today, in the form of a prayer of praise.

Application: I think David’s response was exemplary. He could have become angry or bitter that God wouldn’t want him to build the temple for His honor and glory. He could have argued with God that he had won so many battles for God and for Israel so he should be allowed to build this great monument to God. He could have become bitter and resentful, he could have rebelled, he could have become a stumbling block to the building of the temple, he could have acted like a bad looser or a politician after being voted out of office, or he could have reacted in many other negative ways.
What I love about this story, and why God said of David he was a man after His own heart (1 Sam. 13:14), is David’s positive, indeed joyful, reaction, which is our text for today. The way I feel is that if we truly believe in God’s will for our lives, and that His will is always best, then if we don’t get what we thought we might, what is offered to us, or even what we hoped we would, instead of becoming bitter or resentful we should praise God and thank Him. Don’t be sour grapes because the job you wanted was given to somebody else, because someone made a higher bid on a house you had made an offer to buy, because somebody else is now dating the person you were hoping to date, or because the person you were dating left you to marry somebody else. Praise God it worked out that way! That means that what God has in store for you is better than what you wanted or though you might get. It may not appear to be so at first, but it is God’s best for you, without a doubt.

Prayer: Father, today we echo David’s words of praise for Your will in our lives.

Abraham's Tree

2009-05-03T06:51:00.000-07:00

Scripture: And Abraham begot Isaac. The sons of Isaac were Esau and Israel. (1 Chr 1:34 NKJV)

Observation: This is one of the driest portions of the Bible, mainly because it just consists of lists of names, a genealogical chart of the generations since the creation of Adam to the date of the writing of this book. Here and there you may find a short account of a prominent person, but for several chapters there are lists, and more lists. The text today points to one of the best known family tree, that of Abraham.

Application: As part of my doctoral dissertation I wrote the following:
One way marriage and family therapists, maybe even trained clergy people, can discover unhealthy family patterns transmitted from one generation to the next is by the use of a Genogram. A Genogram is a pictorial display of a person's family relationships and medical history, and goes beyond a traditional family tree by showing hereditary patterns and psychological factors that punctuate relationships. It can be used to identify repetitive patterns of behavior and to recognize hereditary tendencies. A Genogram could help one understand the meaning of the words of God through Moses, “You shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me” (Exodus 20:5 NKJV). While some look at this text as God’s way of punishing succeeding generations for the sins of their fathers, it seems as if what God was trying to show was that the sins, habits, practices of one generation are transmitted to others and often get worse. The editors of the Seventh-day Adventist Commentary explain:
A distinction should be made, however, between the natural results of a sinful course of action, and punishment inflicted because of it (PP 306). God does not penalize one individual for the wrong deeds of another (Ezekiel. 18:2–24). Each man stands before God, responsible only for his own acts. At the same time God does not interfere with the laws of heredity in such a way as to protect one generation from the misdeeds of its fathers, as that would be inconsistent with His character and His principles of dealing with men. It is only through these laws of heredity, which were of course ordained by the Creator in the beginning (see Gen. 1:21, 24, 25), that divine justice visits the “iniquity” of one generation upon the next.
No one can escape completely the consequences of dissipation, disease, profligacy, evil doing, ignorance, and bad habits handed down by preceding generations. The descendants of degraded idolaters and the offspring of evil and vicious men generally begin life under the handicap of physical and moral sin, and harvest the fruit of seed sown by their parents. Juvenile delinquency proves the truth of the second commandment. Environment also has a decided effect upon each rising generation. But since God is gracious and just, we may trust Him to deal fairly with each person, making due allowance for the disadvantages of birth, the inherited predispositions, and the influence of previous environment upon character. His justice and mercy require this (Ps. 87:6; Luke 12:47, 48; John 15:22; Acts 17:30; 2 Cor. 8:12). At the same time our aim is to be victorious over every inherited and cultivated tendency to evil (COL 315, 330, 331; DA 671).
God “visits,” or “appoints,” the results of iniquity, not vindictively, but to teach sinners that a wrong course of action inevitably brings unfortunate results.
In the Bible there is the history of several prominent families, patriarchs of the Jewish, Christian, and even Muslim faiths. When these families are studied, and with the help of a Genogram, it’s clear to see some of the unhealthy patterns transmitted from one generation to several generations that followed. One of the examples is the family of David, as seen in the Genogram below. At least three patterns or themes become evident from one generation to the next.
i. The first is their heart or religion. Although we don’t know much about Jesse, David’s father, he must have been a devoted believer in God (1 Samuel 16). God referred to David as a man “after His own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14 NKJV). However, he also committed a doubly-grievous sin when he sinned with Bathsheba and then plotted to have her husband, Uriah, killed. His son, Solomon, was responsible for the actual construction of God’s temple and asks for wisdom and is granted the answer to his prayers plus riches and power as well. However, Solomon married hundreds of wives who led him to mix the worship of God to that of pagan deities. By the time of the next generation Rehoboam, son of Solomon, ignores God completely and practices idolatry of the worst kinds, like other nations around Israel.

ii. A second pattern or theme that can be seen through the Genogram of David’s family is that of sexual sin. Much like people and rulers of the time, David marries several wives and even commits adultery with Bathsheba before marrying her. His oldest son, Ammon, commits sexual immorality, possible forcible rape, with his half-sister Tamar. David’s other son, Solomon, continues with this pattern by marrying seven hundred wives and adding three hundred concubines to his retinue (1 Kings 11:3). Following him, Solomon’s son Rehoboam had eighteen wives and sixty concubines (2 Chronicles 11:21).
iii. Another pattern is the family division and sibling rivalry present in every generation. David has some problems with his older brothers who don’t think much of him (1 Samuel 16-17). Absalom, one of his sons, murders one of his brothers, Ammon as revenge for raping his sister Tamar. Later Absalom rebels against his own father and goes out in pursuit of him but is tragically killed by one of David’s generals. Rehoboam, Solomon’s son, continues this pattern of rebellion and disobedience to God so Israel is divided into two with ten tribes to the north and two to the south. Eventually both separate kingdoms are conquered by surrounding nations and the people either taken captive or scattered.
This knowledge of family history through the use of Genograms is very important, as Scazzero writes, because “sin is passed on from generation to generation. God allows this story to be recorded to sober us to take a deep, hard look inside (cf. 1 Corinthians 10:6). The implication for church life is clear: It is impossible to help people break free from their past apart from understanding the families in which they grew up. Unless people grasp the power of the past on who they are in the present, they will inevitably replicate those patterns in relationships inside and outside the church.”

Prayer: Father, may we learn from our past so we don’t repeat with our children mistakes and sins that will continue to be transmitted for many more generations in the future.

Check Out the Family

2009-04-27T04:56:00.001-07:00

Scripture: And he walked in the way of the kings of Israel, just as the house of Ahab had done, for the daughter of Ahab was his wife; and he did evil in the sight of the LORD. (2 Ki 8:18 NKJV)

Observation: Jehoram was the king of Judah and he had married the daughter of King Ahab. Evidently his influence had affected his daughter and as she married Jehoram it also affected him so that he did evil in the sight of the Lord. Unfortunately Jehoram’s godly father had less of an influence on him than his ungodly wife did. The daughter of Ahab, whom Jehoram married as part of Jehoshaphat’s treaty with Ahab, was Athaliah, through whose influence Jehoram introduced the worship of Baal and many other evils into the kingdom of Judah (see 2Ch 21:2–20).

Application: As I work with couples preparing for marriage, I recommend, among many other things, that you Take Your Time.
While preparing for marriage, make sure you have spent enough time in preparation. As Shakespeare wrote in King Henry, “A hasty marriage seldom proveth well.” It takes time to know another person well enough to decide to spend your life with them. Proverbs 21:5 says it well, “The plans of the diligent and informed will lead to abundance, but every one who is hasty will only come to want and ruin.” A wedding is a one-day event, but a marriage is a lifetime commitment. Take the time necessary to learn everything you can about the person with whom you plan to spend a lifetime.
As a couple, they should focus on two key areas when taking their time to get to know one another.
1. Get to Know the Other Person’s Family.
Perhaps you have made the mistake of thinking the other person’s extended family doesn’t matter. The fact is we don’t marry one person; we marry, or join ourselves to, the entire family.
You must meet the potential in-laws and other family members and spend time getting to know them. Observe how they interact with each other. An old adage fits very well here: An apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. This family reared your potential mate, so you need to know who they are and what they believe. Only time can provide answers to the following questions, which you must answer.
• Do you know for certain his/her family’s values or habits?
• Is there a spiritual focus of the family? If so, what is it?
• What do they enjoy doing? What are their hobbies and interests?
• How do they handle conflict? How is conflict resolved?
• What is the financial philosophy of the family? Is money important? Is it too important? Did the parents train him/her to be financially responsible?
• How would they react should you choose to marry their son/daughter?
• What kind of in-laws would they be? Uninvolved? Obtrusive? Supportive?
• What was the parenting style of his/her parents? Strict? Flexible? Were they too permissive as parents?
• What kind of influence would they have on your children?

2. Get to Know as Much as Possible about him/her.
It will take time to see how the person with whom you are considering marriage handles conflict, jealousy, or failure. Ask any married couple and they will tell you that even when you think you know your spouse there are still many surprises after you are married.
Ideally it’s beneficial to see a potential marriage partner in every kind of situation before marriage. To do that will take some time, but its time well invested. You must observe how he/she reacts in anger, under stressful situations, and in difficult times. It’s wise and necessary preparation for a successful marriage to learn about the other person’s needs, likes, dislikes,
quirks, habits, particular weaknesses, and strengths.
When is the person not right for marriage? We have included some relational warning signs. Some of these characteristics are only revealed over time.
• Is often caught lying.
• Tends to blame others for everything.
• Is cruel to the innocent and weak. This person may be racist.
• Is controlling. Checks up to see where you go, who you are with, etc. Interrogates you if you’re late or not home. Insists you get permission from him/her before you go anywhere, etc. Handles all the money.
• Attempts to isolate you from your family or friends. Doesn’t want you meeting other people – says he/she is protecting you from people who are not good for you.
• Is extremely jealous. Shows up unexpectedly, checks your phone, even your car mileage. Gets angry if you spend time with anyone other than him/her.
• Quickly says he/she loves you and pushes for serious involvement. Immediately wants an exclusive commitment from you.
• Becomes moody and hypersensitive. Is easily offended. You find yourself constantly apologizing for hurting her/his feelings.
• Verbally berates or attacks you, curses often, is critical, hurtful, or degrading.
• Pressures you for sex. Tries to make up with sex.
• Is repentant but blames for you for his/her actions
• Has pushed, shoved, slapped, or become otherwise physically violent with you.

If any of these characteristics are apparent run, and run fast! The person is not marriage material.

Prayer: Father, as people prepare for their marriage, may they take the time to prepare for this lifetime commitment and may the have their eyes wide open to any concerns they may have about each other and each other’s family. And if it is indeed in your will that they be joined in holy wedlock, may theirs be a life lasting and fulfilling experience.

Spiritual CPR

2009-04-25T04:41:00.001-07:00

Scripture: He returned and walked back and forth in the house, and again went up and stretched himself out on him; then the child sneezed seven times, and the child opened his eyes. (2 Ki 4:35 NKJV)

Observation: A prominent woman of Shunem had cared for Elisha and had her husband build him a room in their house where he could rest when he was passing by. In response to her kindness, Elisha asked God to bless her with a child. When the child was still young, he suddenly got sick and died in his mother’s arms. She went to find Elisha hoping for a miracle. Elisha came, prayed, laid on the child, and finally the child came back to life. This seems like a strange ritual to perform; here are some possible ideas as to why Elisha did what he did. Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary explains:
(1.) How closely the prophet applied himself to this great operation, perhaps being sensible that he had tempted God too much in thinking to effect it by the staff in Gehazi’s hand, for which he thought himself rebuked by the disappointment. He now found it a harder task than he then thought, and therefore addressed himself to it with great solemnity. [1.] He prayed unto the Lord (v. 33), probably as Elijah had done, Let this child’s soul come into him again. Christ raised the dead to life as one having authority—Damsel, arise—young man, I say unto thee, Arise—Lazarus, come forth (for he was powerful and faithful as a Son, the Lord of life), but Elijah and Elisha did it by petition, as servants. [2.] He lay upon the child (v. 34), as if he would communicate to him some of his vital heat or spirits. Thus he expressed the earnestness of his desire, and gave a sign of that divine power which he depended upon for the accomplishment of this great work. He first put his mouth to the child’s mouth, as if, in God’s name, he would breathe into him the breath of life; then his eyes to the child’s eyes, to open them again to the light of life; then his hands to the child’s hands, to put strength into them. He then returned, and walked in the house, as one full of care and concern, and wholly intent upon what he was about. Then he went up stairs again, and the second time, stretched himself upon the child, v. 35. Those that would be instrumental in conveying spiritual life to dead souls must thus affect themselves with their case, and accommodate themselves to it, and labour fervently in prayer for them.
(2.) How gradually the operation was performed. At the first application, the flesh of the child waxed warm (v. 34), which gave the prophet encouragement to continue instant in prayer. After a while, the child sneezed seven times, which was an indication, not only of life, but liveliness. Some have reported it as an ancient tradition that when God breathed into Adam the breath of life the first evidence of his being alive was sneezing, which gave rise to the usage of paying respect to those that sneeze. Some observe here that sneezing clears the head, and there lay the child’s distemper.

Application: This mother did all in her power for her child, and then left the results to God Himself. It may not be the same with every parent, after all, many children die and don’t come to life right away, when their parents would want them back. The promise of the resurrection reminds us that one day, when Jesus returns, parents will be reunited with their children in the most joyful family reunion ever. I have always loved these words which describe the resurrection morning: “The living righteous are changed ‘in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye.’ At the voice of God they were glorified; now they are made immortal and with the risen saints are caught up to meet their Lord in the air. Angels ‘gather together His elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.’ Little children are borne by holy angels to their mothers' arms. Friends long separated by death are united, nevermore to part, and with songs of gladness ascend together to the City of God. {Ellen White, The Great Controversy, p.645} [emphasis mine].
So while we may not have a prophet today who has the power to bring our children back to life, we do have this scene in which we will be reunited with our children who have died before us. May we never have to go through the pain and separation that death brings about, but if we do, may we hold on to this scene and its promise – eternity with our children with no more death ever!

Prayer: Father, while the pain caused by the death of a child is so overwhelming, it is the promise of the resurrection which can make it bearable. I pray Father for that day to come soon and that we all may enjoy that awesome family reunion with our loved ones.

The Pouting Adult and the Enabler

2009-04-24T03:39:00.001-07:00

Scripture: So Ahab went into his house sullen and displeased because of the word which Naboth the Jezreelite had spoken to him; for he had said, "I will not give you the inheritance of my fathers." And he lay down on his bed, and turned away his face, and would eat no food. 5But Jezebel his wife came to him, and said to him, "Why is your spirit so sullen that you eat no food?" 6He said to her, "Because I spoke to Naboth the Jezreelite, and said to him, 'Give me your vineyard for money; or else, if it pleases you, I will give you another vineyard for it.' And he answered, 'I will not give you my vineyard.'" 7Then Jezebel his wife said to him, "You now exercise authority over Israel! Arise, eat food, and let your heart be cheerful; I will give you the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite."

Observation: Ahab, the King of Samaria, wanted to have the vineyard which was next to his palace and which belonged to a man named Naboth. But Naboth wanted to keep it because it had belonged to his family and wanted it to remain so. Ahab was very upset and went into his room, got in bed, and would not eat.
When Jezebel, Ahab’s wife, asked him for his behavior, and Ahab told her, she told him to eat and be happy because she would get him Naboth’s vineyard. She then wrote letters on Ahab’s behalf to have Naboth falsely accused of cursing God and the king, for which he was stoned. She then presented Naboth’s vineyard to Ahab.

Application: If it were not so tragic, this story is almost comical. An adult, Ahab, pouting like a child because he couldn’t have someone else’s toy, or vineyard. We can almost imagine Ahab sulking, furrowed brow, hungry but refusing to eat, maybe even crying – the normal reactions of a child who’s not getting his way, but certainly not the reactions of a mature adult.
On the other hand we have Jezebel, an evil, wicked woman, but also an enabler of her husbands immaturity, selfishness, and childish behavior. It was convenient for her, however, to keep him that way because then she could control him in other ways, like by furthering the worship of Baal in Israel unopposed by her husband.
Sometime ago I heard of a guest psychologist that Oprah had on her show – the topic was on marital relationships – in which this doctor said something to the effect that women who treat their husbands like children eventually stop finding them undesirable because a woman wants a man and not a child as their husband. There are women who seem to enjoy being in charge at home and being the ones to tell their husbands what to do, and when, and how. They treat them as a mother would treat a young child. In more ways than one they are emasculated by not being allowed to “wear the pants” in the family. But these very women, eventually don’t find their man sexually attractive and don’t realize that they’re the ones who have turned them into less than a man.
If a man is to grow up, so he doesn’t pout like a child when confronted with challenges and difficulties, he needs a supportive spouse, not one who will enable his moodiness. God designed woman to be a help-meet, not above nor below man. The best help a woman can give her husband is to believe in him, encourage him, and express appreciation and admiration for him.

Prayer: Father, may we be true help-meets to our spouse so that they will grow and mature as they help us grow and mature.

A Powerful Relationship

2009-04-20T05:18:00.001-07:00

Scripture: “You shall not intermarry with them, nor they with you. Surely they will turn away your hearts after their gods." Solomon clung to these in love. (1 Ki 11:2 NKJV)

Observation: Solomon, as wise as he was, married hundreds of women, many of who were from the people God had forbidden Israel to have any relationship with. It was these women who led him to commit idolatry, the sin for which Solomon’s children lost the kingdom God had give to David.

Application: As we read of the lives of David and Solomon, both had several things in common: Both were chosen to be kings of Israel, both were prophets, both were inspired, both did many good things for God and for his people, both had multiple wives. But where they were different was that David remained loyal to God while Solomon worshiped the idols that his wives brought with them from their own countries. Without going too deep into the implications, I think we can safely draw a few conclusions:
1. God knows the danger of entering into a marital relationship with someone of a different faith and forbids it. While many Adventists have led their spouses to God and to the church, the number of Adventists who have left the church because of their spouses is alarming. Marriage is such a powerful emotional relationship that some people may be driven away from God by their spouse. From the very beginning we observe the power of this relationship when Eve led Adam to sin by eating of the forbidden fruit. Adam could not see himself with Eve and chose to die with her rather tha live without her not trusting that God would do what’s best for him.
2. Adultery must not be the worst of all sins. While we would not condone adultery at any time, at the same time we should not make it the worse of all sins and shun people who commit adultery. In David’s case, not only did he commit adultery but tried to cover it with murder, and yet God said of David that he was a man after His own heart. Solomon had multiple wives, and yet God blessed him with great wisdom.
3. What God DOES take great offense at is idolatry – turning away from Him to worship other gods.

Again, we do not wish to excuse adultery in any way, shape, or form. We do discourage marrying someone of a different faith. We must never turn from God to worship idols, whatever and whoever they may be.

Prayer: Father, may we always worship You and never idols, may we always be faithful to You and to our spouse, and may Your love always cover us.

Honor Your Mother

2009-04-16T05:15:00.001-07:00

Scripture: Bathsheba therefore went to King Solomon, to speak to him for Adonijah. And the king rose up to meet her and bowed down to her, and sat down on his throne and had a throne set for the king's mother; so she sat at his right hand. (1 Ki 2:19 NKJV)

Observation: Bathsheba, Solomon’s mother, came before the king to speak on behalf of his half-brother Adonijah. With the respect she deserved, Solomon rose from his throne and not only honored her by having a throne for her, but before all the people watching, the king bowed to the ground before her.

Application: There’s an age, the early teens or even pre-teens, when some children, boys in particular, seem uncomfortable being seen with their parents for fear that their friends may make fun of them. It’s not that boys are embarrassed of their mom, it’s just that they don’t want to be called “momma’s boy” by their peers.
I guess I skipped that stage, had friends who didn’t make fun of me, or simply didn’t care, but for me it was a matter of joy and pride to be seen or to be with my parents and live with no regrets because I loved and cared for my mother for the last seven years of her life while she lived with us. This respect is not only one of God’s commandments, it is their due for the love, care, and sacrifices on our behalf.

Prayer: Father, thank You for our loving parents and for the opportunity You give us to show them our love and respect. May we take advantage of the opportunities You give us to take good, loving care of them.

Mom's Love

2009-04-15T04:36:00.000-07:00

Scripture: Then she said to him, "My lord, you swore by the LORD your God to your maidservant, saying, 'Assuredly Solomon your son shall reign after me, and he shall sit on my throne.' (1 Ki 1:17 NKJV)

Observation: Absalom’s brother, Adonijah, decided to make himself king of Israel since his father David was old and getting closer to his death. Bathsheba, mother of Solomon, asked David to fulfill his promise to her to elevate Solomon to the throne which is indeed what David did, not just to respond to her request but also following God’s plan and will for David and his family.

Application: Second only to the love God has for us is the love that mothers have for their children. In fact, that love is so special that God uses it as illustrations of his love for us in various places in the Scriptures.
Among the Jewish people, the love of mothers for their children is legendary and is credited for the great success of so many of them. They joke about the mothers who while holding their babies in arms or when they’re still small children they introduce them as, “this my Aaron, the doctor,” or “this is my David, the lawyer,” and when they leave for school they make sure their children have their books while other mothers may be more concerned as to whether their children have their lunch or are properly clothed to go outside. In the gospels, John and James’ mother asked Jesus for a special place for her sons, next to Jesus. As upset as the other disciples were, we sometimes are annoyed with mothers who are too proud of their children and would like for the rest of us to admire their children. If they wish to be proud of their kids they have ever right to do so, but not try to force them on us.
As a father who loves his daughters dearly, it may sound “unfair” that the love of fathers is not shown as prominently as that of mothers. But the reality is that carrying a child inside for the months of pregnancy makes those children much more a part of them than they are of the fathers. But it doesn’t mean we as fathers cannot develop a strong bond with our children. I am blessed to have a very close, strong relationship with my daughters and we enjoy spending time together. But I also recognize that there are many things where they and their mother have a stronger bond – like shopping, or talking about clothes. Some time ago I heard that James Dobson, the famous Christian psychologist, claims that the most strained relationship today is that between men and their sons. Since I don’t have sons I don’t know why that may be, but we as parents should still try to maintain and nourish close, strong bonds with our children.

Prayer: Father, thank you for our children and for the good relationship we enjoy with them. May those bonds be strengthened each day. And bless us, when our relationships are strained, and bring healing to them.

The Most Painful Death

2009-04-12T05:47:00.000-07:00

Scripture: Then the king was deeply moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept. And as he went, he said thus: "O my son Absalom; my son, my son Absalom; if only I had died in your place! O Absalom my son, my son!" (2 Sam 18:33 NKJV)

Observation: Absalom had show his rebellious spirit when he killed his brother Amnon, albeit to avenge the rape of his sister at the hands of Amnon, and by sitting at the gate of the city in judgment as if he were the king. That spirit of rebellion ripened into a coup d’état against his own father, King David. But for Absalom it was not enough that he had routed his father, he wanted to destroy him completely, so he pursued him as David fled. Among the things for which Absalom was known was a head full of long, thick hair. While pursuing David, Absalom ran under the thick boughs of a terebinth tree, his hair got caught in them and he was left hanging in mid air exposed to the enemy. Joab, David’s general, came and killed him there.
Joab sent news to David of Absalom’s death, and today’s text tell us of his reaction to the news. And while Israel could have been celebrating the victory and the fact David could now return to Jerusalem, they all felt awkward by seeing the king mourning. Joab chastised the king for not affirming the troops which protected him and who won this victory over those who were pursuing him.

Application: I have been told by those going through it that there is no more painful death than the death of a son or daughter, regardless of their age. I remember being at the hospital with the mother of a stillborn child and a few months later in another room nearby with the parents of a three-year-old. As a police chaplain I had to give a family the news of the tragic death on a motorcycle of their seventeen-year-old son and have officiated at the funeral of a forty-five year-old daughter who died of cancer. During times like these and many others like them, the parents have told me again and again how that the death of their parents or a sibling or a dear friend was painful but their pain at losing a child was so much worse, almost unbearable. Even if their son or daughter had left the fold, like Absalom, their death was nonetheless sad for their parents.
It seems like the right order of events should always be that as you get older and your parents age by the time they die you are old enough to accept it as a natural part of life. I lost my dad when I was fifteen years old and my mom when I was 42 years old, and their deaths affected me in different ways. At any rate, it is expected that at some point in time your parents will pass on. But your child will always be younger than you and thus you don’t expect to have them die before you; it is not the normal way of life. For Adam and Eve, the murder of their son Abel, particularly at the hand of his brother Cain, must have been horrible. For David the death of his first son with bathsheba and not of Absalom was most painful. For God the death of His Son Jesus must have been most difficult. And yet, he experiences the death of so many of His children every single day! That’s why during the difficult, painful days following the death of a child we can find comfort in Him who truly knows what it is like to loose a child. And with God, it’s not just the He understands, but somehow He also brings the healing we need.

Prayer: Father, I pray none of us ever experience the death of one of our children; bless them and protect them. For those who have, bless them and comfort them, and may Your comforting, loving arms surround them during their time of mourning until healing comes.

Reversal of Feelings - April 10, 2009

2009-04-10T07:10:00.000-07:00

Scripture: (2 Sam 13:15 NKJV) Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, "Arise, be gone!"

Observation: Amnon, son of David, fell in love with his step-sister Tamar and plotted to have her come to his house under the pretense of being sick. While there, he forced her, maybe even raped her, but having accomplished his evil plot he despised her and rejected her altogether.

Application: I wish more single young people, teens and single young adults, would read this story and learn that it follows the pattern or most pre-marital relationships. I think this is particularly important for young ladies who surrender their virginity early with the desire to show their boyfriend their love, for fear they will loose them if they reject their advances, or in the hope they will keep them even while he pulls away from them. Those who believe in evolution would say that man is the hunter and when they have caught their prey they loose interest in them. Those of us who believe in God believe that once a woman has surrendered what is most sacred to her, men loose respect for them, and therefore they have no more interest in them. While young man think that having premarital sex will bring them closer together, more often than not it becomes an insurmountable barrier.
Several years ago there was an article in Time magazine about the report by the National Marriage Project, out of Rutgers University in New Jersey, which says that, “Cohabitating couples are more likely to experience a host of domestic problems — including, if they finally get marriage, divorce.
Last year in the U.S., more than 4 million unmarried heterosexual couples shacked up, in contrast to only half a million at the end of the supposedly free-spirited ‘60's. Though living together has become conventional, the report cites studies showing that these unions, in comparison to marriages, tend to have more episodes of domestic violence to women and physical and sexual abuse of children. It notes that annual rates of depression among unmarried couples are more than three times those of married couples.
The report contends that cohabitation reduces the likelihood of later wedded bliss. It quotes a 1992 study of 3,300 adults showing that those who had lived with a partner were 46% (it is now known to be 80%) more likely to divorce than those who had not. ‘The longer you cohabit, the more tolerant you are of divorce,’ says David Popenoe, the sociologist who co-wrote the study. ‘You are used to living in a low-commitment relationship, and it’s hard to shift that kind of mental pattern.’”
Premarital sex and premarital cohabitation do not benefit the relationship; instead, it will bring a host of problems, challenges, and difficulties including not marrying the person with whom they had intercourse or with whom they live, including abuse to them or their children, and ultimately divorce. God’s plan for sex after marriage is best and healthiest and provides the best chances for lasting happiness.

Prayer: Father, bless the young and single who are tempted to enter into relationships and practice premarital sex and help them to not fall into a sin which will bring about life-lasting difficulties and challenges. May they enjoy the best and healthiest of relationships before and after their wedding.

She Despised Him

2009-04-08T00:55:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (2 Sam 6:16 NKJV) Now as the ark of the LORD came into the City of David, Michal, Saul's daughter, looked through a window and saw King David leaping and whirling before the LORD; and she despised him in her heart.

Observation: With dancing and rejoicing David celebrated the return of the ark of God to Jerusalem. From a distance, his wife Michal watching and thought it disgraceful that the king would act that way instead of being more dignified. She criticized him, David became defensive, and to the end of their life did not enjoy a good marital relationship.

Application: In the relationship between David and Michal we can see some of the dynamics that bring about the destruction of a Marriage. Willard Harley, author of such books as Love Busters and His Needs, Her Needs, says that there are three states of Mind in Marriage. Michal and David exemplify the three states.

State # 1. INTIMACY
(1 Sam 18:20 NKJV) Now Michal, Saul's daughter, loved David. And they told Saul, and the thing pleased him.

David must have had feelings toward her, enough to go to war for her (1 Sam 18:27-28). Michael loved David enough to lie to protect him, even from her own father (1 Sam 19:11-18). Maybe the beginning of their downfall took place when Saul, her father, gave her in marriage to Paltiel, and maybe she learned to love her new husband (1 Sam 25:44).

State #2 - CONFLICT

John Gottman’s research suggests there are four ways of interacting that sabotage your attempts to communicate with your partner. One of what he calls The Four Horsemen of Marriages in Trouble is Criticism (illustrated in our text for today). Criticism involves attacking someone’s personality or character – rather than a specific behavior – usually with blame. Gottman also identified a second damaging way or horsemen which is contempt (also used by Michal in our text). Ellen White adds an interesting insight: “In the bitterness of her passion she could not await David's return to the palace, but went out to meet him, and to his kindly greeting poured forth a torrent of bitter words. Keen and cutting was the irony of her speech” {Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 708}. Michael couldn’t wait to pour cold water on David’s joy and enthusiasm and didn’t just criticized him for his actions but showed contempt for not behaving in a regal manner.
Gottman states that “what separates contempt from criticism is the intention to insult and psychologically abuse your partner. With your words and body language, you’re lobbing insults right into the heart of your partner’s sense of self. Fueling these contemptuous actions are negative thoughts about the partner – he or she is stupid, disgusting, incompetent, a fool.” You can almost hear Michal’s mocking tone and her twisted smile and the rolling of her eyes as she said to David, “How glorious was the king of Israel today, uncovering himself today in the eyes of the maids of his servants, as one of the base fellows shamelessly uncovers himself!” (2 Samuel 6:20 NKJV)

David, on the other hand, used the third of Gottman’s horsemen, Defensiveness. His anger and dismay at the “welcome” he received from his wife turned into anger and a defensive attack: (2 Sam 6:21-22 NKJV) So David said to Michal, "It was before the LORD, who chose me instead of your father and all his house, to appoint me ruler over the people of the LORD, over Israel. Therefore I will play music before the LORD. {22} "And I will be even more undignified than this, and will be humble in my own sight. But as for the maidservants of whom you have spoken, by them I will be held in honor."

State #3 - WITHDRAWAL

While it is not directly stated, the last words of this story tells us their marriage fell apart. It is possible that David used the fourth of Gottman’s horsemen, Stonewalling, and simply tuned her out completely. Regardless, they reached the third state of marriage as described by Harley, the state of Withdrawal and their marriage simply continued as existing together, but there was no love between them: “Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death” (2 Sam. 6:23).

How different their life might have been! Maybe it all began with a poor relationship with his father-in-law. Maybe it was another relationship, Michal’s marriage to Paltiel, that damaged her love for her hsuband David. Maybe it was David’s marriages to Abigail and others that interfered with his love for Michal. Maybe it was not caring for their relationship and sabotaging it so that they moved down the slide from Intimacy through conflict to withdrawal. I guess the question is, do you see yourself somewhere along that continuum? Do you see yourself sabotaging your relationship by using any or several or all of the “horsemen”? Learning and understanding about your situation is one important step on the way to healing, but the next steps you take will determine whether your marriage declines and dies or survives and thrives. Seek help, ask for help, pray for help, call for help; not taking a positive action will mean letting your marriage drown in the sea of divorce.

Prayer: Father, may what happened to David and Michal never happen to us in our marriage. Help us to take any and all the steps necessary to see that our marriage not only survives but thrives.

Suicide Is Not Painless - April 6, 2009

2009-04-06T05:00:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (1 Sam 31:4 NKJV) Then Saul said to his armorbearer, "Draw your sword, and thrust me through with it, lest these uncircumcised men come and thrust me through and abuse me." But his armorbearer would not, for he was greatly afraid. Therefore Saul took a sword and fell on it.

Observation: After the defeat before the Philistines and the death of his son Jonathan, Saul his situation as the fulfilment of the supposed seance with the late prophet Samuel. In the darkness of his soul, Saul could see no way out of his situation and asked his armor bearer to kill him. But when his armor bearer would not do it, Saul fell on his sword and took his own life.

Application: The first time I heard the lyrics of the movie and TV show M.A.S.H. I was shocked. The music is one of the best recognized and reminds us of a comedy based loosely on the real-life army hospital during the Korean War. But the lyrics, which were written for the movie, are shocking, and a horrible lie many have come to believe:

Through early morning fog I see
visions of the things to be
the pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see...
[REFRAIN]:
that suicide is painless
it brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.

I try to find a way to make
all our little joys relate
without that ever-present hate
but now I know that it's too late, and...
[REFRAIN]

The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
so this is all I have to say.
[REFRAIN]

The only way to win is cheat
And lay it down before I'm beat
and to another give my seat
for that's the only painless feat.
[REFRAIN]

The sword of time will pierce our skins
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger...watch it grin, but...
[REFRAIN]

A brave man once requested me
to answer questions that are key
is it to be or not to be
and I replied 'oh why ask me?'
[REFRAIN]

'Cause suicide is painless
it brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.
...and you can do the same thing if you please.

My brother-in-law was a deputy sheriff in his early thirties when he took his own life with his service gun. Eight years later, his family still suffers the consequences of his actions and every year at the anniversary of his death everyone in the family remembers with deep sorrow his actions and the void he left. While the person taking his/her life may think suicide is quick and painless, the consequences to anyone who knows them are most painful and last a lifetime.
If you have thoughts of suicide, these options are available to you:

* Dial: 911
* Dial: 1-800-273-TALK
* Check yourself into the emergency room.
* Tell someone who can help you find help immediately.
* Stay away from things that might hurt you.
* Most people can be treated with a combination of antidepressant medication and psychotherapy.

If You Don't Have Insurance

The following options might be used:

* Go to the nearest hospital emergency room.
* Look in your local Yellow Pages under Mental Health and/or Suicide Prevention; then call the mental health organizations/crisis phone lines that are listed. There may be clinics or counseling centers in your area operating on a sliding or no-fee scale.
* Some pharmaceutical companies have "Free Medication Programs" for those who qualify. Visit the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill website at www.nami.org for more information.

Prayer: Father, life is precious and the actions we take not only affect us but affect everyone around us. Loving God, help us to never consider ending our life but rather to seek the help that is available to us through many sources and from You. Help us to always treasure life, as Your gift to us, and as Your gift through us to others.

A Good WIfe - April 5, 2009

2009-04-05T05:06:00.000-07:00

Scripture: (1 Sam 25:3 NKJV) The name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. And she was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance; but the man was harsh and evil in his doings. And he was of the house of Caleb.

Observation: Nabal was a very wealthy man, financially, but a very foolish, even wicked, man. David and his men had been protecting Nabal’s people, so David requested help in the form of supplies. Nabal’s lack of wisdom showed in denying David what he requested thus also demonstrating lack of gratitude. On the other hand, Abigail, Nabal’s wife, is described as being wise and beautiful. She understood not only how David had protected her husband’s servants, and as a result alla of them, but she also understood that if the wrong steps were taken David cold easily destroy them all, which in fact would have happened had she not intervened.
After she gathered provisions for David and his men, and presented them to him, David was grateful and spared Nabal and all his people. Nabal, on the other hand, was partying at home and since he was drunk Abigail chose not to tell him what all had transpired until he was sober. After Abigail told Nabal, he basically lost his life until eventually he did die. David, appreciating Abigail’s beauty and wisdom, asked her to become his wife. Again showing her wisdom, Abigail accepted with words that also show her humility: “Then she arose, bowed her face to the earth, and said, "Here is your maidservant, a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord” (vs.41).

Application: There are, in this story, three characteristics of a good wife:
1. Physical Beauty: Men, by nature, are more visual and are therefore attracted, first of all, to the physical attributes of a woman. While these vary from culture to culture and from man to man, in general terms men look at the outward appearance of a woman before they consider any other of her attributes. Willard Harley, in his book His Needs, Her Needs, even goes as far as to say that having an attractive spouse is one of the most important emotional needs of a man.
2. Wisdom (or good understanding): Although physical beauty attracts men at first, there’s a point at which we know there’s more to it than that and we want to have a wife with whom we can share our thoughts, our feelings, our goals and plans for the future, someone who can understand us and will support and encourage us.
3. Humility: Men still long to be the protector and provider of the home and to have his wife follow his leadership. Harley also says that one other important emotional need of man is to have his wife’s admiration and respect. A good wife may be as gifted and talented as her husband, or even more so. But a wise, humble wife will still express appreciation and admiration for her husband so he won’t feel inferior to her.
I suppose we could try to find the wife that meets all the characteristics of the woman in Proverbs 31, a nearly impossible task, or we can begin by looking for such a woman as Abigail, or if you’re a woman you can begin by putting these three attributes into practice in your life; you will like it, and your husband will love you even more.

Prayer: Father, thank You for making us the way we are and for showing us that our differences can be complimentary of each other for our mutual benefit.

The Lost Virtue - April 4, 2009

2009-04-04T06:47:00.000-07:00

Scripture: (1 Sam 24:6 NKJV) And he said to his men, "The LORD forbid that I should do this thing to my master, the Lord's anointed, to stretch out my hand against him, seeing he is the anointed of the LORD."

Observation: Saul, driven by anger and jealousy, was pursuing David to kill him. In one of his stops Saul went into a cave to rest, but it so happened that it was the same cave where David and his men had gone in to hide. As Saul slept, David’s men urged him to kill the king with the argument that God had delivered Saul into David’s hand. David would not kill the king and instead restrained his men with the words of our text for today.

Application: When I was growing up, in school we all had to stand anytime a person of authority would walk into the classroom. When the teacher walked in to begin class, we’d stand in a show of respect. When the principal or vice principal would walk in, we would all stand to show them respect. This was done not just by students in the elementary school but all those up to the twelve grade. Respect!
But it wasn’t just people in positions of authority that we needed to show respect; we were taught to show respect and to be polite to everyone. My parents taught us to always greet everyone with a “Good Morning,” “good afternoon,” etc., regardless of who they were. When I went to one of my friends’ house and the maid opened the door, we were to greet her respectfully. In a society where there are great differences in social class and status, we were taught to respect everyone and treat them properly regardless of their social status.
Respect is not limited to some cultures or some countries. My father-in-law was a perfect example of someone who showed respect. Living in the south, where prejudice and racial differences were strong (and still is in many places), George hired African-Americans to work for him, and always treated them fairly and respectfully. One of the best tributes we saw and heard at his funeral was from those men who had worked for him through the years speak of him more like a father to them than simply their boss. I was the recipient of his respect as well. As a young man, married to his oldest daughter, he treated me from the first day we were dating as a member of the family. He asked my advice, share with me his thoughts and feelings, talked about his concerns. After he was diagnosed with brain cancer, he had his will drawn up. I remember we were visiting Pam’s family for the weekend and while the ladies were out shopping, he came to me, showed me his will, and asked for my opinion, as to whether I thought he was being fair and correct in the decisions for his estate. Not only did I think he was indeed fair in his decisions, but the act of asking me, someone a couple of decades his junior, for my opinion showed me his care and respect for me.
We seem to have lost the virtue of respect in our day. Today, it is people in authority that are always wrong – at least that’s the message we transmit to our children. Teachers are wrong for giving too much or too little homework, or for not giving our children the highest grade, even if they didn’t do the work that deserved that grade. Police officers are always wrong for arresting someone, even if that person hurt, killed, or threatened to kill them or someone else. It’s as if we have come to the place where our children must be right or we must be right and everybody else therefore has to be wrong.
For me, David’s actions with Saul showed that you can show respect even to your enemies or to those that treat you wrongly; it doesn’t make you any less than they are.

Prayer: Father, help us to rediscover the lost virtue of respect and to teach it to our children.

A Treasured Friendship - April 3, 2009

2009-04-03T06:38:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (1 Sam 20:41-42 NKJV) As soon as the lad had gone, David arose from a place toward the south, fell on his face to the ground, and bowed down three times. And they kissed one another; and they wept together, but David more so. {42} Then Jonathan said to David, "Go in peace, since we have both sworn in the name of the LORD, saying, 'May the LORD be between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants, forever.' " So he arose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city.

Observation: The friendship between David and Jonathan is among the best known in history. Jonathan was willing to receive the wrath of his own father and maybe even be vanished from his presence to protect his best friend David, and at the end he found the way to help David flee so he would not be killed by his father, King Saul.

Application: There is another story of antiquity that has become a classic illustration of true friendship, it’s the story of Damon and Pythias:
THERE lived in those days in Syracuse two young men called Damon and Pythias. They were very good friends, and loved each other so dearly that they were hardly ever seen apart. Now it happened that Pythias in some way roused the anger of the tyrant, who put him in prison, and condemned him to die in a few days. When Damon heard of it, he was in despair, and vainly tried to obtain his friend's pardon and release.
The mother of Pythias was very old, and lived far away from Syracuse with her daughter. When the young man heard that he was to die, he was tormented by the thought of leaving the women alone. In an interview with his friend Damon, Pythias regretfully said that he would die easier had he only been able to bid his mother good-by and find a protector for his sister. Damon, anxious to gratify his friend's last wish, went into the presence of the tyrant, and proposed to take the place of Pythias in prison, and even on the cross, if need be, provided the latter were allowed to visit his relatives once more.
Dionysius had heard of the young men's touching friendship, and hated them both merely because they were good; yet he allowed them to change places, warning them both however, that, if Pythias were not back in time, Damon would have to die in his stead. At first Pythias refused to allow his friend to take his place in prison, but finally he consented, promising to be back in a few days to release him. So Pythias hastened home, found a husband for his sister, and saw her safely married. Then after providing for his mother and bidding her farewell, he set out to return to Syracuse.
The young man was traveling alone and on foot. He soon fell into the hands of thieves, who bound him fast to a tree; and it was only after hours of desperate struggling that he managed to wrench himself free once more, and sped along his way. He was running as hard as he could to make up for lost time, when he came to the edge of a stream. He had crossed it easily a few days before; but a sudden spring freshet had changed it into a raging torrent, which no one else would have ventured to enter. In spite of the danger, Pythias plunged into the water, and, nerved by the fear that his friend would die in his stead, he fought the waves so successfully that he reached the other side safe but almost exhausted.
Regardless of his pains, Pythias pressed anxiously onward, although his road now lay across a plain, where the hot rays of the sun and the burning sands greatly increased his fatigue and faintness, and almost made him die of thirst. Still he sped onward as fast as his trembling limbs could carry him; for the sun was sinking fast, and he knew that his friend would die if he were not in Syracuse by sunset.
Dionysius, in the mean while, had been amusing himself by taunting Damon, constantly telling him that he was a fool to have risked his life for a friend, however dear. To anger him, he also insisted that Pythias was only too glad to escape death, and would be very careful not to return in time. Damon, who knew the goodness and affection of his friend, received these remarks with the scorn they deserved, and repeated again and again that he knew Pythias would never break his word, but would be back in time, unless hindered in some unforeseen way.
The last hour came. The guards led Damon to the place of crucifixion, where he again asserted his faith in his friend, adding, however, that he sincerely hoped Pythias would come too late, so that he might die in his stead.
Just as the guards were about to nail Damon to the cross, Pythias dashed up, pale, bloodstained, and disheveled, and flung his arms around his friend's neck with a sob of relief. For the first time, Damon now turned pale, and began to shed tears of bitter regret. In a few hurried, panting words, Pythias explained the cause of his delay, and, loosing his friend's bonds with his own hands, bade the guards bind him instead.
Dionysius, who had come to see the execution, was so touched by this true friendship, that for once he forgot his cruelty, and let both young men go free, saying that he would not have believed such devotion possible had he not seen it with his own eyes.

I have been blessed to have such a friend. We have shared our friendship for nearly forty years, in two countries, through sad painful events like the death of my and her father, to joyful events like my wedding to Pam and her wedding to her husband to the birth of our two and her two daughters, to the wedding of one of her daughters, which I had the joy to perform almost two years ago. Together our families have spent good times together, we have had many phone conversations to share in our successes or to cry over our distresses. As a typical introvert that I am, my true friends are very few, but very faithful. Acquaintances we may have many, but true friends are few, and very special. Treasure your friends, cultivate that friendship, nurture it through time and effort.

Prayer: Father, thank You for my friend. Bless her, her husband, her daughters. Keep them in your loving arms, protect them, and give them good health that we may continue to enjoy our friendship for many years to come.

Facing the Economic Giants - April 2, 2009

2009-04-03T06:34:00.000-07:00

Scripture: (1 Sam 17:45-47 NKJV) Then David said to the Philistine, "You come to me with a sword, with a spear, and with a javelin. But I come to you in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. {46} "This day the LORD will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you and take your head from you. And this day I will give the carcasses of the camp of the Philistines to the birds of the air and the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel. {47} "Then all this assembly shall know that the LORD does not save with sword and spear; for the battle is the Lord's, and He will give you into our hands."

Observation: Goliath, the Philistine giant, taunted the Israelites and their God. David, who had come to bring some food for his brothers accepted Goliath’s challenge. Both sides of the battle field were drawn and watched as the two contenders came face to face: on the one side Goliath, a large man with great experience in battle; on the other, young shepherd David. Goliath, presumptuous and arrogant, threatened David, and being self-confident, he took his helmet off. David, whose faith was child-like, relied not on the king’s armor by on God’s power to defeat this giant. David used what he was skilled at and what was at hand – a sling and five smooth stones, but all he needed was one which found it’s target on the head of the giant who fell down and was decapitated by David.

Application: We not have to battle a Goliath, but during these times of economic uncertainties, high unemployment, etc., just surviving seems like we’re fighting an invincible giant. I have some suggestions that could help you, if you apply them to your personal and family finances:
1. Transfer Ownership of Everything to God.
All things that we have belong to God; we are the stewards! Nothing really belonged to us. Our house, cars, clothing, children, and jobs were all gifts from a loving father and we were simply stewards of those gifts. A steward knows that his responsibility is to care for the possessions of the owner. He never sees them as his own. God gives to us not so we can possess, keep, and hoard them, but so that we can be vessels and pipelines of His blessing to others. When we are trustworthy, it makes it possible for Him to bless us even more. His ownership has a single goal: to use all of His resources to be a blessing to His children.
2. Tithe and Give Offerings Joyously.
You don't have to understand all about how tithing works; you just need to know that it does. Read 2 Corinthians 9:6-8. God "prefers" our giving and tithing to be accompanied by which characteristic?
3. Work Hard.
God intended us to learn this important value of character. According to God's plan for the family, we are to earn our bread by the toil and sweat of our brow. Work is satisfying, molds character, and develops gratitude, appreciation, and value.
4. Make a Realistic Budget and Keep Accurate Records.
The culprit in family finance problems is not the big-ticket items. It is the steady drip, drip, drip of spending on little purchases that no one tracks. You hit the ATM machine all weekend and end up broke on Monday with no idea where the money went. The absence of an accurate record of spending keeps couples from making good financial decisions.
5. Get out from under the Bondage of Debt.
Your attitude toward money will make a huge difference in the success or failure of your family. A familiar phrase from wedding ceremonies, '"Til death us do part," has tragically become, "Til debt us do part!" If you have credit card bills which have built up to thousands of dollars, and you no longer even have the disposable items that created the debt, that is the bondage debt about which we speak. If the item for which you went into debt does not provide collateral that is worth more than the indebtedness held against it, you have a problem in the making. To get out of debt, follow these principles:
• Pay Your Bills.
• Get Help.
• Change Your Lifestyle.

May you be victorious as you battle the economic giant that threaten to consume us and our family.

Prayer: Father, everything there is belongs to You and yet You give us so much of it for our benefit. May we never forget to return joyfully the small portion You require of us, and help us to give generously so that others may come to know You.

Young, but Chosen - April 1, 2009

2009-04-01T07:23:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (1 Sam 16:11-12 NIV) So he asked Jesse, "Are these all the sons you have?" "There is still the youngest," Jesse answered, "but he is tending the sheep." Samuel said, "Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives." {12} So he sent and had him brought in. He was ruddy, with a fine appearance and handsome features. Then the LORD said, "Rise and anoint him; he is the one."

Observation: After God rejected Saul, or better, after Saul rejected God, Samuel was instructed to anoint the next king of Israel. God directed Samuel to the home of Jesse who made six of his seven children parade in front of the prophet who chose none of them. After inquiring as to whether there were any other children, he was told about the youngest one, tending the flocks in the field at the moment. When the youngest son, David, came in, immediately Samuel identified him as the successor to Saul, and the second king of Israel.

Application: The youngest child in a family can take a lot from his/her older siblings. In many cases, by the time the hand-me-downs they’ve been worn by so many older siblings that they look pitiful, and the toys, books, and furniture are not in the best of shape either. They have to compete with older siblings for everything from school, to sports, and even for their parent’s attention, and for their entire life they be seen as the “baby” of the family.
At the same time, since they seem unable to compete with their older siblings in other areas because they are taller, faster, more knowledgeable, they excel in other areas, among them, in the area of laughter – from an early age they learn that when they act in certain ways they draw attention to themselves, and they love being the center of attention. This leads them to clown around, tell funny stories, and do all they can to make others laugh and thus be the life of every party. No wonder so many actors and comedians are the last-born of the family.
Paul wrote to young pastor Timothy: “Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” (1 Tim 4:12 NKJV) For those of us who have some of the characteristics of the last-born and enjoy humor and laughter, we can identify with David who was a singer (entertainer?), and with the fact that his older siblings did not take him seriously (see 1 Samuel 17:28). But God doesn’t see younger children or the last-born child as unnecessary, unskilled, or unimportant. In fact, with God’s guidance, and the natural gift of laughter, a younger person can do great things – just look at king David!

Prayer: Father, may our conduct be such that others may respect who we are and what we do and thus be able to help others come to You.

Sharpen Your Sword - March 31, 2009

2009-03-31T01:33:00.000-07:00

Scripture: (1 Sam 13:19-22 NKJV) Now there was no blacksmith to be found throughout all the land of Israel, for the Philistines said, "Lest the Hebrews make swords or spears." {20} But all the Israelites would go down to the Philistines to sharpen each man's plowshare, his mattock, his ax, and his sickle; {21} and the charge for a sharpening was a pim for the plowshares, the mattocks, the forks, and the axes, and to set the points of the goads. {22} So it came about, on the day of battle, that there was neither sword nor spear found in the hand of any of the people who were with Saul and Jonathan. But they were found with Saul and Jonathan his son.

Observation: Saul’s reign was not peaceful as he battled the Philistines and other nations that surrounded Israel. And while his beginning was promising, prophesying and making the right choices, little by little he began to decline in spirituality, in the respect that the people had for him, and in power.
The Philistines exerted enough control over the nations around them, including Israel, that they would not even allow them to have their own silversmiths so they would not make their own weapons; obviously, this was a problem for the Israelites as they tried to defend themselves.

Application: I read this story and immediately thought of what today’s world is doing in our homes by creating a thousand and one distractions so that we don’t spend any time “sharpening our swords,” that is, studying the Bible. I’m particularly concerned with parents who believe that sending their children to non-Adventist or even public schools is a good choice and will not affect their children adversely. It is as if the world has disarmed parents so when the battle for their children’s lives comes parents are totally unprepared for it.
I don’t want to take this image too far, but the reality is that unless we are studying God’s word, for ourselves, daily, as the battle lines are drawn and we’re called to fight the enemy of souls, we are in peril of losing the only battle that really matters and carrying our children to the same fate. Spend time each day with God’s Word, treasure it in your heart and mind, and see that your children enjoy the benefits of your study so they may follow your example and have their own swords sharpened and ready for the ultimate battle, the battle for their souls.

Prayer: Father, thank You for Your Word, the weapon You have given us to battle the forces of evil. Help us to keep it sharp and ready by studying it every day.

Loving Concern - March 30, 2009

2009-03-30T04:30:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (1 Sam 9:5 NKJV) When they had come to the land of Zuph, Saul said to his servant who was with him, "Come, let us return, lest my father cease caring about the donkeys and become worried about us."

Observation: Saul’s father had asked him to find some donkeys that had ran away. After traveling throughout the territory for several days, Saul decided to go back home so that instead of worrying about the donkeys his father would start worrying about him. In looking for the donkeys someone suggested they consult Samuel, the prophet, and it was during this encounter that he was anointed the first king of Israel.

Application: Whatever we may think about Saul, from this story we can learn that he was a loving son who did not want to make his father worry about him. It seems that children reach a certain age and they gain or are given a certain amount of independence, which is a normal, natural step in their process of growing into adulthood. Parents, however, never gain independence from care and concern for their children. So two worlds collide – on the one hand children wanting their independence, and on the other hand parents still being concerned about their children. And where this becomes a challenge is where the children show no concern for the worrying they cause their parents. For instance, when kids go out without telling their parents where they’re going, when they plan to come back, without calling to check with their parents, etc. At home, their parents worry about their kids’ whereabouts, if they have been in an accident, if something has happened to them, etc.
The simple act of picking up the phone to call their parents show care and concern for them. This simple act, a few words, can not only bring peace to their parents but will also reassure them of their love for them.

Prayer: Father, may we demonstrate care and love to our parents not only in words but in caring actions toward them.

It Happens to the Best - March 29, 2009

2009-03-29T16:03:00.001-07:00

Scripture: Now it came to pass when Samuel was old that he made his sons judges over Israel. 2The name of his firstborn was Joel, and the name of his second, Abijah; they were judges in Beersheba. 3But his sons did not walk in his ways; they turned aside after dishonest gain, took bribes, and perverted justice. (1 Samuel 8:1-3 NKJV)

Observation: Samuel’s sons were corrupt and like other religious leaders at the time they took advantage of their position to exploit the people.
The Israelites, on the other hand, wanted to “keep up with the Joneses” and asked Samuel, the God-given leader of his time, to give them a king to reign over them. This obviously displeased Samuel. God, however, understood clearly that it wasn’t Samuel but God they were rejecting, and yet, God kindly tried to show them what they would get if they chose a human king for themselves instead of God.

Application: As I visited with a pastor-friend over the weekend, we talked about PKs – Pastors’ Kids. Even in the homes of the best of pastors, children have gone astray. Even in the home of a beloved, life-long prophet like Samuel, his children went bad.
How is it possible that from godly parents would come children who leave the church, some even leave God?
I recognize that it’s not always a single event or situation but rather a number of these which drive them to take those steps. Maybe it’s the “constant” moving from one church, one community, one school to another. Maybe it’s leaving friends behind and being put in the position of meeting new ones only to leave them again a few years later. Perhaps it was the school or series of schools they attended. Maybe it was the series of teachers and principals. Or maybe the church people, the conference, or what the view as “the church” in general. Or maybe it was us, their parents, who spent more time doing the work of the Lord than spending time with His and our children. Whatever it might be, we certainly recognize the challenges of our, and other, PKs, and how much pain their decisions cause us. I said to another pastor-friend that maybe God, considering the pressure and the challenges that PKs live under has a special dispensation of His grace for them. At least that is my hope and prayer for my own PKs.

Prayer: Father, I pray for our children, particularly PKs, who are targets of the enemy and sometimes even of members of the church family. May Your grace be sufficient for them, too.

For This Child I Prayed - March 28, 2009

2009-03-29T15:33:00.001-07:00

Scripture: For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him. 28Therefore I also have lent him to the Lord; as long as he lives he shall be lent to the Lord.” So they worshiped the Lord there. (1 Samuel 1:27-28 NKJV)

Observation: The situation at home between Hannah and Penninah, Elkanah’s wives, was very tense. In a society where childlessness was seen as curse from God, or at least as God withholding his blessings from the woman, Penninah, who had several children, picked on barren Hannah, who must have felt singled out by God and others for unfair treatment.
But Hannah prayed and God granted her a son; in fact, later we read that she had three more sons and two daughters (1 Sam. 2:12). Hannah evidently was a praying woman who continued to do so not just until Samuel was born, but for her other children, for as long as she lived.

Application: Christian couples should most definitely pray for God’s gifts of children as to whether they should even have any or not. Once the mother is pregnant, the couple should redouble their prayers for life, health, and protection on both the mother and child. These prayers should not only be personal and silent, but together as a couple and audible – what a wonderful way for the growing baby inside the mother to get used to his or her parent’s voice but to hear them praying for them!
And praying for our children does not stop at their birth but must continue throughout their and our lives.

Prayer: Father, we pause right now to pray for our children. May they sense Your presence in their lives this day, and may they come to know You, love You, serve You, and share You all the days of their lives.

The Other Woman in Your Marriage - March 27, 2009

2009-03-27T07:21:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (Ruth 2:11-12 NKJV) And Boaz answered and said to her, "It has been fully reported to me, all that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband, and how you have left your father and your mother and the land of your birth, and have come to a people whom you did not know before. {12} "The LORD repay your work, and a full reward be given you by the LORD God of Israel, under whose wings you have come for refuge."

Observation: After the death of her husband and their sons, Naomi returned to her home land. While Orpah, one of her daughters-in-law went back to her own home and family, Ruth, her other daughter-in-law, chose to travel with Naomi and settle in Naomi’s home land, be forever part of her family, and to fully accept and worship her God. While they lived together Ruth was devoted to the care of Naomi and her attitude, actions, and devotion to service did not go unnoticed. In fact, Boaz, who was a relative of Naomi’s, noticed Ruth’s care and indirectly made provision to help them. It is in this setting that we read Boaz commending Ruth in our text for today.

Application: The close relationship between Naomi and her daughter-in-law Ruth is special but by no means unique. Many mothers-in-law have been have been specially loving, supportive, and kind to their sons or daughters-in-law, and in some cases they have had a closer relationship than with their own children. The same has been the case with daughters or sons-in-law toward their spouse’ parents.
I borrow the title today from a book by Christian psychologist H. Norman Wright he speaks about this relationship which could be most damaging to a couple’s relationship or a tremendous blessing to all. For some reason, mothers-in-law have one of the worse reputations – in some cases probably well-deserved, but in most it is probably totally unwarranted.
One way to change the negative dynamics is to make every effort to learn from the other person. My wife and my mother had a very good relationship in spite of a language barrier, and I credit both for it. My wife was always very kind and respectful of my mother, and she learned from her many of the things that I like and have since been cooking for me some of my favorite dishes. My mother was more than willing to share that information with Pam, but she also was careful not to usurp Pam’s place as the lady of the home and the one who holds first place in my life. In addition, both of them also were very generous with the time that I was able to spend with each and that we spent together.
So those are three very simple things that anyone can do to have the best of relationships with their in-laws: 1. Make every effort to learn from the other – family history, tradition, customs, recipes, etc.;
2. Show respect for the other person’s position in their own home.
3. Watch carefully the time spent with each, giving preference to your spouse first while not neglecting time with your own parents.

Prayer: Father, may we all be blessed with a loving, supportive relationship with our in-laws, whether they are our parents-in-law or our children-in-law, that we may have the type of relationships that will be uplifting to everyone in the family.

Oainful and Bitter - March 26, 2009

2009-03-26T05:22:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (Ruth 1:20-21 NKJV) But she said to them, "Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. {21} "I went out full, and the LORD has brought me home again empty. Why do you call me Naomi, since the LORD has testified against me, and the Almighty has afflicted me?"

Observation: In just a few verses we read of all the reverses that Ruth and her family suffered. First they had to leave their home and become immigrants in a foreign country. Then, she became a widow, and then her two sons also died. The last of her sorrow came when one of her daughters-in-law left her to go back to her own home. About the only bright moment in the midst of all this darkness was when her daughter-in-law, Ruth, chose to stay with her and travel back home with Naomi. Her bitter, painful experience led Naomi to ask that she be called Mara, reflecting the bitterness of her heart and life.

Application: My parents were married twenty-eight years until the afternoon, one early day in January, when my father suffered a massive heart attack that took his life and left my mother a widow. For twenty-eight years they lived together, traveled together, and managed to have and raise six children. The shock of her sudden change in her life and the loss of her life-partner plunged my mother into the darkness of pain and the bitterness of widowhood which caused her to loose more weight she should have and which cause her three children still at home to be very subdued and mask their own pain so they would not cause her any more pain than what she was already carrying in her heart and reflected in the black, mourning clothes she wore from then on and for over a year. The closeness of the relationship between a husband and wife is so strong that it has been compared to gluing two pieces of paper and then trying to separate them – it doesn’t happen without causing damage to one or both. And the longer a couple are married, the deeper their strong bond and their feelings toward one another; no wonder so many people pass on shortly after the death of their spouse – it is a separation some just simply cannot bear. At the same time, what a wonderful thing it is to live together in the strong bonds of love and marriage with the person closest to you, your spouse.

Prayer: Father, while the pain of the death of our spouse may come to us, I pray that our life together may be of such quality that we may live without regrets, and may the memories we’re building together carry us through the darkest, dreariest valleys of sorrow and pain.

Win Your Spouse Back - March 25, 2009

2009-03-25T05:22:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (Judg 19:1-3 NKJV) And it came to pass in those days, when there was no king in Israel, that there was a certain Levite staying in the remote mountains of Ephraim. He took for himself a concubine from Bethlehem in Judah. {2} But his concubine played the harlot against him, and went away from him to her father's house at Bethlehem in Judah, and was there four whole months. {3} Then her husband arose and went after her, to speak kindly to her and bring her back, having his servant and a couple of donkeys with him. So she brought him into her father's house; and when the father of the young woman saw him, he was glad to meet him.

Observation: This is one of the strangest stories in the entire Bible. A Levite set out to win back the love of a woman, but when the men of the city wanted to have sex with the Levite, instead he gave them his woman for then to do with her as they wished. After an entire night of abuse, the woman died, the Levite took her home, cut her in pieces, and sent the pieces throughout Israel seeking justice.
When sin controls people, they will stop at nothing until their sinful desires are met. Not only were they trying to do what God calls unnatural (Romans 1) by having homosexual relations, but also by abusing this woman to the point of death.
On the other hand, if we can look for something positive in this story, it is the Levite’s actions and words to win this woman back related at the beginning of the story.

Application: Even though the woman played the harlot and left him the Levite went to look for her, to speak kindly to her, and to bring her back. These three steps can also be critically important to win your wife back after you have caused harm any kind of pain – like speaking harshly to her, being unkind to her, betraying her trust in you. Let’s look at the three steps:
1. He went after her. He took the initiative. In the same way, if you have done or said anything that hurt your spouse, don’t ignore it as if it would go away on its own, or don’t expect the other to forget it as if nothing had happened. Take the initiative to go to your spouse and make things right with them. Apologize, ask their forgiveness, make every effort to make things better in the future.
2. He spoke kindly to her. Don’t make things worse by denying what happened or by becoming defensive. A recognition of what you did and kind words can go a lot farther in the healing process.
3. He brought her back. It’s not enough to just get back to normal but to establish a new, better normal I your relationship with your spouse.
We can make our relationships better and win back our spouse, if we are sincere in our desire and honest with our feelings, and if our attitude and actions show them we indeed love them and want the best for them.

Prayer: Father, we praise You and thank You for your gift of our spouse; may we treat them accordingly.

Listen to Your Parents - March 24, 2009

2009-03-24T05:28:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (Judg 14:1-3 NKJV) Now Samson went down to Timnah, and saw a woman in Timnah of the daughters of the Philistines. {2} So he went up and told his father and mother, saying, "I have seen a woman in Timnah of the daughters of the Philistines; now therefore, get her for me as a wife." {3} Then his father and mother said to him, "Is there no woman among the daughters of your brethren, or among all my people, that you must go and get a wife from the uncircumcised Philistines?" And Samson said to his father, "Get her for me, for she pleases me well."

Observation: Samson became obsessed with a woman from Timnah and insisted, against his parent’s advice, that they get her for him. They objected because marriage with an unbeliever, in fact a pagan, was strictly forbidden. But Samson was insistent and his parents, who were obviously indulgent of their only son, gave in and made the appropriate arrangements for Samson to have her. Just reading the rest of the chapter tells us of the horrible results of such actions which eventually led to his involvement with a prostitute, Delilah, and to his capture and eventual demise.

Application: In our day we don’t have arranged marriages, at least in our western culture, and yet I can’t help but wonder how many people I personally know would be so much better off if they had only listened to their parents and of others I know right now who are going against the advice of family and friends totally ignoring their advice, their feelings, and their dislike of the person they are dating. It’s as if they believe that by stubbornly staying with that person they will force their family and friends to dismiss their concerns for their relationships and they will come to like, or even love the other person. In the PREPARE inventory I provide to couples contemplating marriage, one of the areas we look at is the parents and friends’ reaction to the couple’s relation. When their reaction is positive, the couple not only seems to do better but also, logically, they have one less thing to work on or worry about. The opposite is also true of the couples who don’t enjoy the support of their family or friends; it’s like fighting an uphill battle as they begin to form their new relationship and without the love and support of those closest to them.
While the family may not always be right in their feelings or opinions of your boyfriend or girlfriend, if there are negative feelings already going into the relationship, chances are that they won’t get any better later. Listen to what your family and friends are trying to tell you; they are trying to help you, and they may be saving you from a life of hardship and pain.

Prayer: Father, thank You for the wise counsel of family and friends. May we be attentive to what they have to tell us, specially if that has to do with following Your guidance and when it comes to those relationships which we hope will be life-lasting.

Careless Promises - March 23, 2009

2009-03-23T05:23:00.000-07:00

Scripture: (Judg 11:30-31 NKJV) And Jephthah made a vow to the LORD, and said, "If You will indeed deliver the people of Ammon into my hands, {31} "then it will be that whatever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the people of Ammon, shall surely be the Lord's, and I will offer it up as a burnt offering."

Observation: Jephthah led the Israelites to defeat the Ammonites, but before he went to war with them he asked God for the power, the strength, the ability to defeat them, and then promised that if he would indeed win he would present God an offering of the first thing that came out of the house. I’m not sure what he thought would come out – an cow, a goat? Or if he thought that maybe one servant might come out. But great was his distress when it was his only daughter who came out to greet him and to celebrate his victory and great her disappointment when instead of a great joy, her celebration turned into great sorrow.

Application: Just as careless as Jephthah was with his vow, so are many parents with the promises or threatened discipline. We have observed many parents, specially parents of small children, threaten discipline unless their children change their actions, but they do it in a way that the children know are vain words. Some count: “Jimmy stop that! One. . . two. . . two-and-a-half. . .” Children know that counting doesn’t really mean anything until it gets to three. Others would threaten by repeating themselves: “Sussy, come here. . . Sussy, I told you to come here. . . Sussy, I’m not going to tell you again, come here. . . Sussy, I’m getting upset, you better come here. . .” and on and on. Other parents use their staccato voice and the children’s names to show the escalation of their command: “Ronny pick up your toys. . . Ron, pick up your toys. . . Ronald, pick up your toys, Ronald Arthur, I told you to pick up your toys. . . RONALD ARTHUR SMITH YOU COME RIGHT NOW AND PICK UP YOUR TOYS OR I’M GOING TO. . .” It is finally at this point that children take their parents more seriously and begin to either move in the direction of complying or rebelling further to see how far they can push their parents.
When it comes to discipline, it’s best to follow these steps:
1. Set clear limits and consequences, according to the age and understanding capacity of each child.
2. If the child crosses the limit, apply discipline immediately. This does a number of things. First of all, you as the parent applies the discipline without losing your temper. Secondly, the child learns to comply with the pre-defined limits.
3. Immediately after applying discipline, reassure your children of your love for them.
In the same way, don’t make threats that will affect you or the rest of the family because you will end up punishing everyone else or you will find yourself in the position to break the threat. For instance, if your child comes home later than they should have and you tell them something like: “You’re not going anywhere for a month!”, you may have to stay at home for that month and therefore the entire family is punished with the transgressor.
On the other hand, don’t make promises you can’t keep. Don’t say, “if you get good grades I’ll buy you a new car,” when you may not be able to afford the car and all related expenses, and if your child does get good grades, then you may not be able to fulfill that promise and therefore give negative messages to your children, such as: My parents don’t keep their promises, it doesn’t matter if I do well in school, etc.
These things are part of what Jesus meant when He said, “Let your yes be yes and your no be no” (Mat. 5:37).

Prayer: Father, help us to make no promises or threats we cannot keep.

The Price of Power - March 22, 2009

2009-03-22T04:26:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (Judg 9:4-6 NKJV) So they gave him seventy shekels of silver from the temple of Baal-Berith, with which Abimelech hired worthless and reckless men; and they followed him. {5} Then he went to his father's house at Ophrah and killed his brothers, the seventy sons of Jerubbaal, on one stone. But Jotham the youngest son of Jerubbaal was left, because he hid himself. {6} And all the men of Shechem gathered together, all of Beth Millo, and they went and made Abimelech king beside the terebinth tree at the pillar that was in Shechem.

Observation: In previous chapters we learned of the Gideon and how he tested God with a fleece, how he destroyed Baals altar, and how he defeated the Midianites. But not all of Gideon’s experiences were positive. Toward the end of the last chapter we read he built an ephod in his town of Ophrah and people came there to worship and prostituted themselves and became a snare to Gideon’s family. Gideon had many wives so he also had many children, seventy of them. Abimelech emerged as the leader among Gideon’s children and did it by winning the support of the people of Shechem who paid him to become their king after which he killed all but one of his seventy brothers.

Application: Stories like this make me cringe to thin of how one person could deal with his brothers in that cruel way, and all for the sake of power and money. And yet, I personally know of two families where a brother has dealt in similar ways (except for killing them) with his siblings by robbing them of what rightly belongs to his siblings, by taking advantage of them, and by enriching himself at their expense. When it comes to money, some people will do anything they have to even if that means taking it from their own family members. What is the point of selling your soul for money while your siblings or those closest to you suffer? If the funds God gives us are not used to help others, then our selfishness will destroy something that is much more important and worth a lot more and that is our family relationships.

Prayer: Father, help us to never place material things over our family or any other person.

The Sword of the Lord - March 21, 2009

2009-03-21T07:47:00.000-07:00

Scripture: (Judg 7:20 NKJV) Then the three companies blew the trumpets and broke the pitchers; they held the torches in their left hands and the trumpets in their right hands for blowing; and they cried, "The sword of the LORD and of Gideon!"

Observation: Gideon’s large army had been pruned down to a very small number, particularly when compared with the army of the Midianites. Then, they surrounded the Midianites and at the right moment they broke the pitchers, blew the trumpets, and lifted the torches at the same time as they shouted, “The sword of the Lord...” To the half-asleep Midianite army, the noise, sights, the lights must have seemed like millions, and that caused great panic and confusion which led to their great defeat. While on my last visit to Israel, several years ago, I remember our guide telling us that during the war with Syria over the Golan Heights, one lone Israeli tank operator did a very heroic feat. He would drive up to the ridge and fire against the Syrians, then drive down, move to another location, drive up the ridge, fire, and repeated the same action from several locations. Down below, on the Syrian side, they could see tanks going up and down and firing upon them and they though it was an entire combat unit, and those actions slowed down just enough for the Israeli army to come to the Golan Heights to defend that strategic site. I imagine something similar took place during the battle when Gideon led the Israelites against the Midianites. . . who knows, maybe the Israeli tank soldier remembered this battle and knew that even a few can win a battle over the most. Then again, it was God fighting on the side of Gideon and his army, not just the military tactics they employed.

Application: Today we’re enjoying family togetherness as our younger daughter, who studies at Andrews University in Michigan, is home for spring break. Our older daughter, who lives nearby, is joinging us, and the four of us plan to spend the day together. Those opportunities don’t come by too often nowadays, so we praise and than God for it. As I think of the battle of Gideon’s army, I can’t help but think of the battles we as parents have to fight for our children. The enemies of our children are great and many and at times we are overwhelmed and shaken to think of these seemly insurmountable foes. But maybe that’s why this story is here, to remind us as parents that we may be small and seemly powerless, but if we blow the trumpet and lift up the torch (God’s word), victory will be ours and our children’s. I would like to liken blowing the trumpet to our living testimony, and lifting the torch to studying the Bible – I suppose if you want to take the analogy further, you could say that breaking the pitchers is eliminating those negative influences that threaten to enslave us and our children. But we do know and must be fully convinced of is that the Battle is the Lord and we need to commit ourselves and our children to Him if we’re to gain the final victory.
I know the following passages are not directly related to what I just concluded, but they are very inspiring nonetheless.
“The leader whom God chose to overthrow the Midianites occupied no prominent position in Israel. He was not a ruler, a priest, or a Levite. He thought himself the least in his father's house. But God saw in him a man of courage and integrity. He was distrustful of himself and willing to follow the guidance of the Lord. God does not always choose for His work men of the greatest talents, but He selects those whom He can best use. "Before honor is humility." Proverbs 15:33. The Lord can work most effectually through those who are most sensible of their own insufficiency, and who will rely upon Him as their leader and source of strength. He will make them strong by uniting their weakness to His might, and wise by connecting their ignorance with His wisdom.
If they would cherish true humility, the Lord could do much more for His people; but there are few who can be trusted with any large measure of responsibility or success without becoming self-confident and forgetful of their dependence upon God. This is why, in choosing the instruments for His work, the Lord passes by those whom the world honors as great, talented, and brilliant. They are too often proud and self-sufficient. They feel competent to act without counsel from God.” {Ellen G. White, Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 553}
“The Lord is willing to do great things for us. We shall not gain the victory through numbers, but through the full surrender of the soul to Jesus. We are to go forward in His strength, trusting in the mighty God of Israel. There is a lesson for us in the story of Gideon's army. . . . The Lord is just as willing to work through human efforts now, and to accomplish great things through weak instrumentalities. {Ellen G. White, Conflict and Courage, p. 127}

Prayer: Father, give the courage to go through this conflict and win the final battle against your foe. But also give us the victory with and for our children that we together may enjoy the rewards of eternal life together.

The Courage of a Woman - March 20, 2009

2009-03-20T04:21:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (Judg 4:4-5 NKJV) Now Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lapidoth, was judging Israel at that time. {5} And she would sit under the palm tree of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in the mountains of Ephraim. And the children of Israel came up to her for judgment.

Observation: Deborah, a prophetess, was also the leader of Israel at the time. He called Barak to pursue Sisera, one of Israel’s enemies. At the end, Deborah and Jael, who killed Sisera in her tent, turned out to be the courageous heroines of this story

Application: This is one of those amazing stories of courage displayed not just by one but by two women of the Bible. There are homes where men are weak and easily led by others or by sins or habits that threaten to destroy their marriage, their family, their finances, and even the very men practicing them. It is at those times when a courageous woman has to take the reins of their home lest everyone and everything they have be consumed.
Every home has a clearly defined leader, even if the relationship between spouses is egalitarian. The bible’s ideal is that the man should have that headship since that is a reflection of the order in God’s universe and he serves as a reflection of God and the relationship of Christ as the husband and the church as His bride. Today’s reality is that some men are not that type of reflection and don’t demonstrate the correct pattern established by Christ. In addition, some women are raising a family with the absence of a husband or father of her children. In these cases, women can and must serve the role of headship in their homes in order to maintain it intact and thrive even under less than ideal circumstances.

Prayer: Father, bless the women who under difficult circumstances labor to keep their families intact and healthy. May they reflect faithfully the image of Christ in their lives.

In One Generation - March 19, 2009

2009-03-19T04:31:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (Judg 2:10 NKJV) When all that generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation arose after them who did not know the LORD nor the work which He had done for Israel.

Observation: After the death of Joshua and the people of his generation had passed away, things changed very quickly in Israel, but not for the best. The rapid decline in their spirituality reflects the rapid abandonment of God’s will for them. First of all, the Israelites stopped their conquest of the Promised Land from going as far as God intended it should. Secondly, they left entire cities, and their inhabitants, alive and established relationships with them. And finally, they began to worship the Baals of the people of the land. This rapid decline is what God had tried to prevent by commanding them to destroy the people of the land, but in just one generation they went from following God to worshipping Baal.

Application: I can attest to how fast things change, in one generation, when you abandon God. My mother’s parents were the first Seventh-day Adventist converts in the city of Bucaramanga, where we were born, in the country of Colombia, South America. When my mother was a young girl, her mother died leaving her husband to raise five young children by himself; my grandfather never remarried. Weighed down with the heavy responsibility and with a large hospital bill after his wife’s death, my grandfather, a very responsible man, made whatever payments he could on that hospital bill but in the process he didn’t return God’s tithe faithfully; shortly after that, he stopped going to church altogether. Eventually all but one of the children, including my mother, ended up out of the church (one died at a young age, still believing and living his faith). As a young lady, about to graduate from high school, my mother met my father, who together with his family was Roman Catholic. In order for my mother to be able to marry my father she “converted” to Catholicism; in her own words, while she did everything in her power to accept, believe, and practice her new religion, she confessed to me many years later that she never really could come to believe it because the seeds of Bible truth remained deeply ingrained in her heart. Nevertheless, she raised her children as Catholics, attending church every Sunday, and performing the rituals, or “sacraments,” required by the church such like infant baptism, “the First Communion,” “Confirmation,” etc.
As a young boy, after my first communion, I became quite active in the church and was chosen to be one of the altar boys in the church near to where we lived and where we worshiped regularly for many years. I remember as a young boy wearing my bath robe and standing before the kitchen sink, with a slice of bread, dipping a piece of it in a glass of orange juice mixed with some water, role-playing what I saw the priest do on the altar during mass – by the way, my own “mass” was not the best as the juice was too watered down, and the bread soaked in this mixture tasted horrible. If the priest had seen me doing this he probably would have said that even at an early age I demonstrated a vocation for the priesthood; I might say that even in the darkness was already beginning to show me a glimpse of the ministerial career I would one day follow.
In my family, all of us grew up catholic, and faithfully did the things required of good Catholics like repeating the prescribed prayers to Mary and to bow down before the many images found in churches, cathedrals, and even road side shrines. While my mother’s brother and his family were Adventists, we never completely understood what they were or why they lived like they did; we only knew they did strange things like not watch TV on Friday nights and Saturdays, or not eating what we considered to be delicacies and which now I myself find distasteful, even disgusting. It was only after the death of my father, and our move to the United States, that my mother returned to the Adventist faith and she and I were baptized the same day in a church in Silver Spring, Maryland.
As we reflect on our portion of the Scriptures for today, some may wonder how quickly the Israelites abandoned the faith of their fathers after all the powerful miracles He worked on their behalf. I witnessed how easy it is to do so as with my mother’s departure from the faith as in just a few short years she went from being a Sabbath-keeping, second-coming-expecting Christian, to a Sunday-keeping, idol worshipping Catholic, and as a result, with the birth of each of her children, we were one by one introduced to the worship of these idols and it became a simple part of our lives.
If we as parents can see how easily and quickly children learn, we would be so much more careful with our actions and words. I am amazed at parents who don’t bring their young children to church or those who have told me that they don’t want to force them to believe as they do but want to give their children the freedom to choose what to believe only to see how quickly their children abandon the faith their parents wish they would hold as their own. I’d like to encourage every parent to hold dear their faith and live it and teach it to their children from the time they are born that they may grow up in it from their earliest days; if we as parents don’t live our faith, we will quickly loose our children and many generations to come.

Prayer: Father, help us to live daily our faith and may we transmit it faithfully to our children and for generations to come.

The Best Choice - March 18, 2009

2009-03-18T03:56:00.000-07:00

Scripture: (Josh 24:14-15 NKJV) "Now therefore, fear the LORD, serve Him in sincerity and in truth, and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River and in Egypt. Serve the LORD! {15} "And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."

Observation: This is one of those well-known passages in the Bible and it comes in the latter part of Joshua’s life, as he recounts for the Israelites what God has done for them and again reminds them to not enter into relationships with the people of the land lest they “become a snare” for them. Here he challenges them with his own personal example. If, after all God has done for them, they still choose to worship other gods, so be it. Crazy as it seems, so be it. But as for me and my family, God forbid that I’d leave Him to worship worthless pieces of wood, stone, or metal. We will serve the Lord. It is his own example that leads the people to respond the way they did: (Josh 24:16-18 NKJV) So the people answered and said: "Far be it from us that we should forsake the LORD to serve other gods; {17} "for the LORD our God is He who brought us and our fathers up out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage, who did those great signs in our sight, and preserved us in all the way that we went and among all the people through whom we passed. {18} "And the LORD drove out from before us all the people, including the Amorites who dwelt in the land. We also will serve the LORD, for He is our God."

Application: We can never underestimate the power of our decisions on what other people, particularly our family, do. Joshua understood that, which is why, at the dusk of his life he challenged the children of Israel with the words of our text. We can challenge our children as often as we want to, but if our actions don’t match our words, the challenge will not only go unheeded, it could well drive them to make the opposite choice of what we would have wanted for them. That’s that mean that if we live correctly all the time (or at least most of the time), that our children will follow our steps all the time (or most of the time) as well? I wish I could tell you that is the case. The reality is that everyone has the same freedom of choice and even the most godly parents have experienced the pain of seeing their children leave the faith in which they were brought up and the God to whom they were dedicated as babies. As parents, however, we must consider that without a good example on our part the chances that they will choice a different path increase greatly. From our part, then, we must dedicate ourselves and our family to God, live uprightly with God’s help, pray for and with them daily, and then leave the rest to them and to God expecting that ultimately His grace will be sufficient for them, as it is for us.

Prayer: Father, in Your goodness you allow us to make our own choices. This day, we choose You as our God and Savior and ask that You come close to our children, that they may sense Your presence in their lives, and that they, too, choose You this day as their God, their Savior, and Lord of their lives.

Unintentional Pain - March 17, 2009

2009-03-17T05:09:00.000-07:00

Scripture: (Josh 20:3 NKJV) 'that the slayer who kills a person accidentally or unintentionally may flee there; and they shall be your refuge from the avenger of blood.

Observation: The cities of refuge were provided so that anyone who killed somebody else unintentionally would not be killed by the avenger but rather would be protected and live there until the death of the high priest. The symbolism with Jesus, our High Priest, as our refuge is very clear, so these cities were not only for physical refuge but would teach them of the spiritual provision God had made for our salvation in the form of His Son Jesus Christ.

Application: In every relationship, there will be times when one or the other will cause pain to the other, albeit unintentionally. The wonderful thing about committed relationships is that when that happens, the person who did it will be quick to apologize, and the injured person will be quick to forgive. This environment will provide a true refuge to both parties.

Prayer: Father, thank You for being our Refuge, and thank You for making of our home a place of refuge for all of us.

A Good Account - March 16, 2009

2009-03-16T05:20:00.000-07:00

Scripture: (Josh 18:4-6 NKJV) "Pick out from among you three men for each tribe, and I will send them; they shall rise and go through the land, survey it according to their inheritance, and come back to me. {5} "And they shall divide it into seven parts. Judah shall remain in their territory on the south, and the house of Joseph shall remain in their territory on the north. {6} "You shall therefore survey the land in seven parts and bring the survey here to me, that I may cast lots for you here before the LORD our God.

Observation: As Joshua nears the end of his life, he wants to ensure that the land is conquered and settled properly, so he send men from every tribe to survey the land and then to divide it among the remaining tribes yet to be settled.

Application: Joshua was a very conscientious leader and wanted to make sure everything was done properly before his death. I think as Christians we must be careful with all our accounting, that we do things rightly, justly, and correctly. I’m thinking of at least a few areas:
1. Tithes and offerings. As much as we need to do things legally in this world, so much more with God. The tithe is ten percent of all our income and it belongs to God. In addition to the tithe, God expects us to be generous and give an additional amount of offerings.
2. Taxes. As much as we may dislike paying taxes, it is those funds that for the most part take care of the expenses of our country, state, city, or community where we live. We benefit from the taxes we pay and what others pay as well. We must be careful that taxes are paid properly and that we do everything legally.
3. Make sure the accounting of our funds is done carefully. We should make sure to reconcile the checking and savings accounts every month to make we have what we believe we do and not overdraw our accounts.
4. Budgeting is important to control our expenditures and save for future needs of the household.
We may not be accountants of hold a masters in business administration (MBA); however, simple accounting of our funds can save us a lot of headaches and will help us be faithful with the means God provides us for our sustenance.

Prayer: Father, help us to be faithful in our accounting of Your gifts and to remember You first of all as we manage these funds.

When to Retire - March 15, 2009

2009-03-15T05:23:00.000-07:00

Scripture: (Josh 14:7-11 NKJV) "I was forty years old when Moses the servant of the LORD sent me from Kadesh Barnea to spy out the land, and I brought back word to him as it was in my heart. {8} "Nevertheless my brethren who went up with me made the heart of the people melt, but I wholly followed the LORD my God. {9} "So Moses swore on that day, saying, 'Surely the land where your foot has trodden shall be your inheritance and your children's forever, because you have wholly followed the LORD my God.' {10} "And now, behold, the LORD has kept me alive, as He said, these forty-five years, ever since the LORD spoke this word to Moses while Israel wandered in the wilderness; and now, here I am this day, eighty-five years old. {11} "As yet I am as strong this day as on the day that Moses sent me; just as my strength was then, so now is my strength for war, both for going out and for coming in.

Observation: Joshua had been among the twelve spies Moses had sent to survey the Promised Land, and was one of the only two that came back with an encouraging report about it, cheering people on to go in and take it, as the Lord was giving it to them. When he spied out the land he was forty years old, and at the time of the writing of this chapter, he is eighty-five years old.

Application: At the age of forty, some people begin to wind down and to prepare for their retirement, whether physically or psychologically. In some countries, once a person reaches about fifty, companies begin to look at them as too old and look for ways to discharge them. Such was the case with my father. When my dad reached the age of forty-nine, the company he was working for approached him with a choice – either he retire with a good compensation package or get fired with nothing; he chose to “retire.” However, at that age he would not be able to sit still, so he got another job, but at the age of fifty it was very difficult to adapt to a new job and they let him go after a year. From that time, until his untimely death one year later at the age of fifty-one, he was unable to find another job. He was considered too old.
For a man who at fifty one is still young, being unable to find employment led to depression which led to early death. We now know that fifty is indeed still a young age and many good, productive years are still ahead. While there are times when we would like to be able to retire and do nothing, being actively involved in gainful employment or some activity will be healthier than to simply remain idle.

Prayer: Father, thank You for the opportunity to work, and for the health to do it. Help us to keep in mind that working is not punishment but a blessing.

More Time! - March 14, 2009

2009-03-14T06:23:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (Josh 10:12-13 NKJV) Then Joshua spoke to the LORD in the day when the LORD delivered up the Amorites before the children of Israel, and he said in the sight of Israel: "Sun, stand still over Gibeon; And Moon, in the Valley of Aijalon." {13} So the sun stood still, And the moon stopped, Till the people had revenge Upon their enemies. Is this not written in the Book of Jasher? So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and did not hasten to go down for about a whole day.

Observation: One of the most powerful miracles ever had just taken place after Joshua prayed that the sun would stand still; it is recorded that the sun indeed stood still for about a day. Then the kings that had joined to try to defeat Israel were captured and executed, and later buried. These wholesale destructions of entire cities is what has caused some to question God and even to come to be afraid of or bitter toward Him. We need to consider several things:
1. Israel had no home, and God wanted to provide them with a home of their own where they could live in peace and worship Him and become a witness to the whole world.
2. These nations had become so depraved by sin that their corrupting influence was not only spreading, but it could, and in some cases did, become a hindrance, a temptation, and a stumbling block to God’s people.
3. The way these people dealt with their own was dehumanizing and deadly. They had temple prostitutes, the women were treated as objects to abuse and mistreat, children were abused and at times offered to idols; God could not permit this abuse on the innocent to go on forever – or until they’d destroy themselves, but in the mean time generations of innocent people would suffer.
4. Without the presence of Israel as a nation, the world was rapidly becoming like the world before the flood, and even though Israel was not always faithful to God, its presence gave the rest of the world an opportunity to know God and gave them a lease on life.
In reality, these destructions were more an act of mercy than an act of anger on the part of God. Yes, He was angry with those nations and peoples, but yet they were also His children and by putting an end to their wickedness God was saving countless others yet unborn.

Application: In thinking about the sun standing still, I just recently I received an e-mail with a story (whether it is true or not, I don’t know), about the time when NASA scientists were working on plans for future launches when they ran into a problem. They entered all the information into the computer, but the computer could not compute correctly, it gave an error message, and the NASA people could not find out what the problem was, all they knew was that there was one day and about forty minutes missing that they could not account for. Apparently a Christian among them told them about this event, they changed their calculations and sure enough, they were only missing about forty minutes. Then the Christian told them of the time when King Hezekiah asked for a sign that he would be healed, and the sun went back what would be the equivalent of . . . forty minutes. Once that time was also accounted for, their calculations matched perfectly.
These stories remind me that God’s miraculous power on our behalf is still available to us as families and as couples. We may not get the sun to stand still, but maybe he will make the time that we have more manageable so we can spend time learning about Him and worshiping Him, time together as families, time with our children, time for work, time for leisure, time to evangelize, time to rest. And all along, God also helps us to deal with those things that are destroying our families – negative influences on our children, not spending enough time together, not spending enough time with God in prayer and for God in praise, not spending enough time to study His word, not spending enough time working for the salvation of others. We don’t need the miracle of more time; what we need is the miracle of learning how to manage properly the time that God already gives us every day. Much like we don’t understand how when we return God’s tithe we seem to have more than before, so when we dedicate our time to Him, He can help us accomplish more in the time we have than if we tried to manage it ourselves, without Him in it.

Prayer: Father, thank You for the time You give us. Help us to manage it wisely for You and others.

The Word To Everyone - March 13, 2009

2009-03-13T18:54:00.002-07:00

Scripture: There was not a word of all that Moses had commanded which Joshua did not read before all the assembly of Israel, with the women, the little ones, and the strangers who were living among them. (Joshua 8:35 NKJV)

Observation: After the defeat at Ai, Joshua discovered and had to deal with Achan’s sin lest all of Israel would hear about it and learn to disregard God’s specific instructions concerning the people and the nations they were supposed to conquer and destroy.
In order to have a new beginning, Joshua read again the covenant God established with Israel. Today’s text makes it clear that these words were read before all, but it specifically mentions women, children (little ones) and foreigners. Passages like these should show us that God intended equal treatment to all.

Application: One of my favorite short stories, which eventually was made into a movie with Barbara Streisand, is Yentl, The yeshiva Boy, originally written by Issac Bashevis Singer. The story centers on a young girl who defies tradition by discussing and debating Jewish law and theology with her rabbi father. When he dies, she cuts her hair, dresses as a young man, and sets out to find a yeshiva where she can continue to study Talmud and live secretly as a male named Anshel. She has such hunger for learning that she sacrifices her female role, and even her love for her study partner, just so she can learn all she can from the wisdom of bible and other Jewish scholars.
I’m glad we have come such a long way from the days when women were relegated to a second place, some even farther back. I have had the privilege of meeting and learning from some very bright women and feel my life has been enriched by their knowledge, their wisdom, and their experience. Without those interactions, my life, my ministry, my future would have been cheated of many valuables treasures. I count my wife as one of the brightest, most talented, women and have seen how so many others, including me, have benefitted from her keen insights and talented guidance. I have worked with and known lady pastors whose ministry and learning has proved to be a great blessing to their husbands ministry and to their churches. I have sat in classrooms where lady teachers have shared true pearls of wisdom I have then shared with many others. What a shame, if all these ladies had had to be relegated to the role of servants, quietly going about menial tasks, never allowed to express their opinions or to teach or lead others, simply because society or culture dictated they had to or they couldn’t be as smart or learned as men!
Joshua taught the Bible (Moses’ words) to women, children, and foreigners, because before God we all are equal and must be treated thus. I pray for the day, soon I hope, when we will all learn to treat each other and give each other equal opportunities to learn and teach, follow and lead, listen and preach, serve and be served, as God intended; we all be the ones to be benefitted and blessed as a result.

Prayer: Father, You are the God of equality and fairness, righteousness and justice. Father, may we set aside the societal and cultural barriers that keep us from enjoying Your gifts through men and women for the benefit of Your people. And may we achieve, with your help, the equality with which You created us as male and female for it will ultimately be for our benefit and for Your honor and glory.

Spiritual Landmarks - March 12, 2009

2009-03-13T18:54:00.001-07:00

Scripture: And it came to pass, when all the people had completely crossed over the Jordan, that the Lord spoke to Joshua, saying: 2“Take for yourselves twelve men from the people, one man from every tribe, 3and command them, saying, ‘Take for yourselves twelve stones from here, out of the midst of the Jordan, from the place where the priests’ feet stood firm. You shall carry them over with you and leave them in the lodging place where you lodge tonight.’” (Joshua 4:1-3 NKJV)

Observation: The Israelites finally get to cross the Jordan into the promised Land after forty years of walking around in the desert. Now God tells Joshua to command twelve men for each to carry one large stone from the middle of the river to be used for a memorial altar to be built inside the borders of their new homeland. The purpose God had in mind for this altar was that it would serve as a memorial, as a “talking point” with each generation, so that whenever children would ask about the reason for that pile of stones, they would be told about all the miracles worked in their favor from Egypt and all the way to their country.

Application: We don’t always make a big deal about some of the most special, important moments I n the spiritual life of a person, particularly a young person, but maybe we should. As Seventh-day Adventists, at least in some cultures, we feel that celebration is a bad thing to do, so we refrain from doing so.
To this day, some forty plus years later, I still remember some things about the rite of passage that young catholic children go through called “The First Communion.” I remember going to catechism studies in preparation, I remember my special first communion suit and candle, and I definitely remember the party and gifts afterward. Why not have a celebration every time a person, particularly a young person, is baptized!
Baptism is one of those spiritual landmarks that, as children look into it, gives us a great opportunity to tell them what God has done for us. Other spiritual landmarks are the Sabbath, a weekly opportunity, Thanksgiving (at least here in the United States and in Canada where it is a holiday), birthdays and anniversaries. We can also make a special time during communion to explain to young children about what this special service is all about. We could also celebrate each year on the anniversary of our baptism; it would be like a spiritual birthday of sorts. Any high spiritual moment should be marked with a celebration – the first time the person speaks to somebody about Jesus, the first person they lead to Christ and to baptism, their first Bible study with someone else, ordination as deacon/deaconess or church elder. For those who are called to the gospel ministry, ordination is a special spiritual landmark. For those getting married, that day is not only a special moment that marks the union of two people but it should also be a moment of spiritual renewal and thus another spiritual landmark. Look for special spiritual highlights and turn them into life landmarks to reflect on during the challenging or dark days which come to our lives at times; they become the anchors that keep us on solid ground.

Prayer: Father, thank You for all those high spiritual moments of our lives when You shows us a greater, brighter glimpse of You.

Go Up and Die - march 11, 2009

2009-03-11T11:25:00.001-07:00

Scripture: Then the Lord spoke to Moses that very same day, saying: 49“Go up this mountain of the Abarim, Mount Nebo, which is in the land of Moab, across from Jericho; view the land of Canaan, which I give to the children of Israel as a possession; 50and die on the mountain which you ascend, and be gathered to your people, just as Aaron your brother died on Mount Hor and was gathered to his people. (Deuteronomy 32:48-50 NKJV)

Observation: Moses comes to the end of his career, and his life, his work of leading the Israelites out of Egypt and to the borders of the Promised Land finished, and yet he’s not allowed to go in with them. Now God tells Moses to take a look at the land from the top of Mount Nebo, and then he would die.

Application: I guess I find this story interesting because of how it has been rendered as it seems like God is telling Moses, “go ahead and die!”, as if it was in Moses’ power to die.
Today is my fifty-first birthday, the age my dad was when he died, thirty six years ago. I remember the morning of that day, we kissed him as we left him home, like we would normally do, only to come back home that afternoon to the news that he had died. His death, the result of a double, massive heart attack, came suddenly, unexpectedly. I guess I wonder what it might be like to know exactly when, if not how, one would die. I suppose if one was like Moses, we would not have any problems at all. . . just simply accept it. But which of us is like Moses! Maybe we would go through the stages of dying. Maybe we’d go into deep depression. . . which would make the dying process worse. Maybe we would do all in our power to make all possible arrangements for our belongings. Maybe we would have time to do all those things and visit all those places we had wanted to. But since we don’t have that choice, we need to live each day as if it were our last day, without regrets, particularly in our dealings with our loved ones.

Prayer: Father, help us to value each day as if it were the last one we’d be alive.

Gather Before God - March 10, 2009

2009-03-10T04:56:00.001-07:00

Scripture: (Deu 31:12-13 NKJV) "Gather the people together, men and women and little ones, and the stranger who is within your gates, that they may hear and that they may learn to fear the LORD your God and carefully observe all the words of this law, {13} "and that their children, who have not known it, may hear and learn to fear the LORD your God as long as you live in the land which you cross the Jordan to possess."

Observation: The closing words of Moses to the Israelites reflect his ongoing concern for their spiritual well-being. He understood that physical prosperity sometimes leads to spiritual declension, so he reminded them to meet on a regular basis with their families and even with the foreigners in their midst so they would be daily reminded of their God and of His power to deliver, protect, and provide.

Application: I think these words are the reflection of what we have come to know as daily worship. Sometimes, in the midst of our busy lives, we forget to set aside time to learn and teach, to pray to and to thank God for His goodness to us. And I find it interesting that God wants us to gather the family, but also those who may or may not know God so that they too will have an opportunity to come to know Him, worship Him, and serve Him.

Prayer: Father, on this day, we worship You and serve You, and pause to listen to Your voice as You direct us in our daily activities. May we hear You in everything we do, wherever we go.

The Family Secret - March 9, 2009

2009-03-09T05:33:00.000-07:00

Scripture: (Deu 29:29 NKJV) "The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but those things which are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.

Observation: This is the concluding verse of this chapter after several chapters which contain the blessings and the curses Moses read to the Israelites at the border of the Promised Land. This verse refers to God’s blessing of revelation; he does not want us to remain ignorant but rather shows us what He knows we need to know. But what He tells us is not to be confined to us, they also belong to our children.

Application: Truth is to be passed on from one generation to the next, not hoarded as if we were the only ones who needed it or who should have it. And that truth is to be transmitted through word and action.

Prayer: Father, thank You for Your Word of truth. Help us to live it and teach it to our children and other generations to come.

The Head and Not the Tail - March 8, 2009

2009-03-08T13:58:00.001-07:00

Scripture: “Now it shall come to pass, if you diligently obey the voice of the Lord your God, to observe carefully all His commandments which I command you today, that the Lord your God will set you high above all nations of the earth. 2And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, because you obey the voice of the Lord your God: 3“Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the country. 4“Blessed shall be the fruit of your body, the produce of your ground and the increase of your herds, the increase of your cattle and the offspring of your flocks. (Deuteronomy 28:1-4 NKJV)

Observation: Chapter 27 contains a series of curses on those who transgress God’s laws. Chapter 28 contains the corresponding blessings on those who obey God’s commands. On our passage today, I particularly like the first words of vs. 9 - “The Lord will establish you as a holy people to Himself.” His promise is that when we accept Him as our God, He becomes our foundation and we will be established firmly on Him.

Application: I like the picture of God as our strong, firm, and everlasting foundation with us being built or our home being built on that firm foundation.
As I write these things, I am coming back from my nephew’s wedding. He was brought up with an alcoholic, physically abuse father. His mother, my sister, became an Adventist in his pre-adolescent years but later left the church. It’s a wonder that my nephew turned out as well as he has! In his late teens and early twenties, he experimented with different lifestyles and religious views. . . I have to confess I really don’t know what he believes – it’s a n eclectic mixture of eastern religions, Christianity, naturalistic views, personal observations, and who knows what else.
My nephew met and married a lovely young lady from a nice Buddhist family; yesterday they had a Buddhist wedding ceremony at mid-day, and later in the day they had a generic wedding (the description of the man who officiated) by an attorney friend who also happens to be a notary public and ca, therefore, officiate at wedding ceremonies.
I couldn’t help but think of all that took place yesterday, on Sabbath, as a young Buddhist girl officially married my former Adventist nephew, with whom she had been living, in a generic wedding ceremony. . . a short, generic service which reflected the beginning of their life together, at least officially, with the God of creation, the God who established marriage and the Sabbath, not invited to their wedding, or their lives, on this His holy day.
I wish them well. I wish them a long life of happiness and joy, health and prosperity. And yet, I can’t help but feel sadness at the beginning of a building of a new home without the firm foundation of God at the center.
Now, as I write these words, I hear again Moses telling the Israelites, “The Lord will establish you as a holy people to Himself.” Who is your foundation? Whose people are you? On Whom is you marriage, your family, being built?

Prayer: Father, our Lord and our Foundation, may we be built on You so we may be firmly established forever.

Serious About Marriage - March 7, 2009

2009-03-08T13:57:00.001-07:00

Scripture: “If any man takes a wife, and goes in to her, and detests her, 14and charges her with shameful conduct, and brings a bad name on her, and says, ‘I took this woman, and when I came to her I found she was not a virgin,’ 15then the father and mother of the young woman shall take and bring out the evidence of the young woman’s virginity to the elders of the city at the gate. 16And the young woman’s father shall say to the elders, ‘I gave my daughter to this man as wife, and he detests her. 17Now he has charged her with shameful conduct, saying, “I found your daughter was not a virgin,” and yet these are the evidences of my daughter’s virginity.’ And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city. 18Then the elders of that city shall take that man and punish him; 19and they shall fine him one hundred shekels of silver and give them to the father of the young woman, because he has brought a bad name on a virgin of Israel. And she shall be his wife; he cannot divorce her all his days. (Deuteronomy 22:12-19 NKJV)

Observation: This chapter contains several regulations concerning marriage and/or sexual relations; these can be summarized as follows:
vs. 22 - speaks of adultery, sex with a married person, for which both guilty parties were to be put to death.
vs. 23-24 - Refers to a woman betrothed to a man but who has sex with another man - even if she claims that she was raped, it is evident it was consentual and therefore both must die.
vs. 25-27 - If a girl is betrothed to a man, and another man rapes her, he must be put to death.
vs. 28-29 - If a man forces a young woman to have sex with him, he must marry her.
vs. 30 - a man can’t marry his father’s wife.
The section I read today is vs. 13-19. By itself, this passage raises several questions and challenges:
1. The man is not pleased with his wife, so he finds something to complain against her (vs. 13-14), and lies about her.
2. The parents had to “play it” safe by keeping “proof” of her virginity in the form of stained bed sheets.
3. The man is punished and forced to remain married to his wife (vs. 18-19).

Application: As I look at this section of Scripture, I guess what bothers and saddens me the most is the poor wife, for several reasons:
1. First of all, her husband is not pleased with her. Her self-worth must have hit rock bottom.
2. He finds something to accuse her of. Her integrity and purity are questioned in public.
3. After her husband is found out lying, she’s forced to remain with him. I can imagine that if he wasn’t pleased with her before, he sure was not any happier after, either. I wonder what her life was like afterwards?
I know this process was written to protect the woman from false accusations by a frustrated husband, but I can’t help but wish more positive steps had been specified to protect her from further abuse.
When we look through critical eyes, we will find fault in everything our spouse does. Allowing that critical spirit to fester will eventually lead to a desire to leave them or to the actual act of leaving them by divorcing them or by shamefully committing adultery. That’s why it is so important that we dismiss negative thoughts immediately before they lead us to want to leave our spouse and cross the fence thinking the other grass is greener only to find it is astro-turf, synthetic, and bad for the digestion.

Prayer: Father, help us to always look for and find the good in our spouses and to refuse to foster negative thoughts about them.

Family Before War - March 6, 2009

2009-03-06T04:05:00.001-08:00

Scripture: (Deu 20:5-7 NKJV) "Then the officers shall speak to the people, saying: 'What man is there who has built a new house and has not dedicated it? Let him go and return to his house, lest he die in the battle and another man dedicate it. {6} 'Also what man is there who has planted a vineyard and has not eaten of it? Let him go and return to his house, lest he die in the battle and another man eat of it. {7} 'And what man is there who is betrothed to a woman and has not married her? Let him go and return to his house, lest he die in the battle and another man marry her.'

Observation: While there was going to be war for a long time in the process of taking over the Promised Land, God wanted to ensure the protection and continuation of the marriage institution and of the families that would be left behind that they not be left destitute. The SDABC explains: “Betrothed a wife. This exemption was an act of consideration so that the man might not die without having children to perpetuate his name and interests. This exemption lasted one year (ch. 24:5). The three exemptions noted in vs. 5–7 could not fail to have a beneficial effect on the economy of the nation. They were an important alleviation of the insecurity and utterly disturbing effects of war upon the entire life of a people.”

Application: As important as it was to go in and conquer the land God was given the Israelites, God also made provision for the care of the families that they not be left destitute. Is that less important today? We may not decide to join the military and go into war, and yet, in this world we go into battle every day. The point is that we need to care for our loved ones, our families, and make provision for them in case anything were to happen to us while we’re gone to work, or travel, or to do whatever we are leaving home to do.

Prayer: Father, help us to always make provision for our loved ones.

Avoid Wicked Customs - March 5, 2009

2009-03-05T17:48:00.000-08:00

Date: 3/5/09 Page: 72
Title: Avoid Wicked Customs Topic: Family, Children, Sin

Scripture: “When you come into the land which the Lord your God is giving you, you shall not learn to follow the abominations of those nations. 10There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, or one who practices witchcraft, or a soothsayer, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, 11or one who conjures spells, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead. 12For all who do these things are an abomination to the Lord, and because of these abominations the Lord your God drives them out from before you. 13You shall be blameless before the Lord your God. 14For these nations which you will dispossess listened to soothsayers and diviners; but as for you, the Lord your God has not appointed such for you. (Deuteronomy 18:9-14 NKJV)

Observation: As strange as it may seem, this is the reason why God ordered the Israelites to destroy and obliterate the people living in the Promised Land, because if they didn’t, the Israelites would end up adopting their customs and practices and would end up worshiping other gods. The sad reality is that that’s exactly what ended up happening, which is the reason God had to allow them to be taken into captivity and eventually had to establish the church in their place.

Application: While the saying goes, “While in Rome, do as Romans do,” that is not what we ought to do with our lives and with our children lest they pick up the customs of the people and end up idolaters and lost. This is the reason why we are told to guard the senses, which are the avenues to the mind.

Prayer: Father, may You bless us with Your protection and may You bless our children with your direction.

The Art of Mourning - March 4, 2009

2009-03-04T05:15:00.001-08:00

Scripture: (Deu 14:1-2 NKJV) "You are the children of the LORD your God; you shall not cut yourselves nor shave the front of your head for the dead. {2} "For you are a holy people to the LORD your God, and the LORD has chosen you to be a people for Himself, a special treasure above all the peoples who are on the face of the earth.

Observation: The other nations had peculiar and superstitious beliefs about dying and the dead. Some even worshiped dead spirits. The precise significance of the rituals mentioned here (Deut. 14:1)—laceration and shaving the head for the dead—is unknown today. But cutting oneself was a sign of mourning (cf. Jer. 16:6; 41:5; 47:5; 48:37). However, it is clear that these practices reflected beliefs about the dead that conflicted with faith in the Lord, the ultimate Source of life. Therefore when a loved one died, the Israelites were to demonstrate their faith in the Lord by refraining from these pagan practices. Today Christians may demonstrate even greater faith when a believing loved one dies (cf. 1 Thes. 4:13-18).

Application: I think mourning is more an art than a science; and yet, many want to deal with it as a science, allowing only a certain amount of time for the person to be done with it, or a disease that needs to be treated with medication. While we need to make provision for cultural differences, what I do know is that we need to mourn in a healthy way.
During my years as a hospice chaplain I witnessed the death of all my patients and saw how their loved ones mourned and learned more of the importance of appropriate mourning. One thing I always tell people is to not medicate themselves or their loved ones as that will delay or interrupt the healing process which mourning provides. Among those who use alcohol I also recommend they stay away from it at least for four weeks so they can grieve appropriately and not artificially.
We can say definitely that hurting oneself is not appropriate. As we read above, God did not want His people to follow the customs of the people around them by cutting themselves. There are many other and better ways to mourn appropriately such as talking to others about their loved one, journaling their experience, invest time to help others, and many more. When a loved one dies of a terminal disease, many times their loved ones get involved in causes that raise funds for research and treatment of the same in order to benefit others suffering from the same. Look for positive ways to manage your grief.

Prayer: Father, when the loss of a loved one touches us, help us to know how to mourn them appropriately and in a healthy way.

To Orphan, Widow, and Foreigner - March 3, 2009

2009-03-03T07:39:00.000-08:00

Scripture: For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God and awesome warrior who is unbiased and takes no bribe, 18who acts justly toward orphan and widow, and who loves resident foreigners, giving them food and clothing. 19You, therefore, love the resident foreigner because you were foreigners in the land of Egypt. (Deuteronomy 10:18 NET)

Observation: In these verses - from 10:12 to 10:22, we find an exhortation to love God and love people, which the two principles on which the ten commandments are also based. In fact, we could safely say that most if not all of what the Bible is about is those two guiding principles – love God and love people, for God’s sake. In the verses for today, God declares His greatness and reminds the Israelites that because they were delivered from Egyptian bondage they should treat the foreigner kindly. These passages also remind them that God is Judge and He will not overlook mistreatment of the widow, the orphan, or the foreigner.

Application: Several years ago we helped a dear friend of ours get relocated from Florida to Wisconsin where the opportunities for work were better for her, her daughter, and her mother. The Lord blessed us as within a couple of weeks we found her employment, an apartment, and a car. A couple of months later, they invited a lady to come up from Florida so they could help her as well, and they also asked me to see if I could help this lady, particularly since she was a member of my church (Adventist); since my friends were not Adventist they though I would be more inclined to help their friend if they told me she was Adventist, although I would have help anyway.
When her friend arrived from Florida, she went to live with my friends. We helped her to find employment and we saw that she had transportation to church every Sabbath. One Sabbath she came to me crying because of how she was being treated by my friends. They were charging her for the rental of one room more than they were paying for the rent for the entire apartment. I became furious and confronted them with this unjust treatment after we had helped them, at our cost, and without asking them for anything. Their response was basically, “it’s not your business; we’ll take care of this problem ourselves.” When things got worse, we helped this lady find another place to live and even had to go to the police because my friends were holding some of her things.
My personal experience, sadly enough, has been that many times those who receive the blessing of coming to America where they have been helped by others, instead of helping others, particularly newcomers to the United States, will mistreat, take advantage of, or abuse their own countrymen or other foreigners. Inasmuch as I was angry with this injustice, God is even more angry that foreigners, orphans, or widows are treated unjustly and will see that His justice is passed against all offenders. But doesn’t that also mean that when we don’t act correctly toward our wife and children is as if we are abusing the orphan and the widow? Instead of caring for those we should love we’re neglecting them or mistreating them even though God calls us to love them? Let’s make sure that our wife and children are not emotional or physical orphans and widows; love them, treat them kindly, and take good care of them.

Prayer: Father, thank You for treating us better than we deserve. Bless us that we may be a blessing to others, those nearest to us, but also those who don’t have someone to show them our love.

An Immigrant's Heart - March 2, 2009

2009-03-02T07:24:00.000-08:00

Scripture: “So it shall be, when the Lord your God brings you into the land of which He swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give you large and beautiful cities which you did not build, 11houses full of all good things, which you did not fill, hewn-out wells which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant—when you have eaten and are full—12then beware, lest you forget the Lord who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage. 13You shall fear the Lord your God and serve Him, and shall take oaths in His name. 14You shall not go after other gods, the gods of the peoples who are all around you 15(for the Lord your God is a jealous God among you), lest the anger of the Lord your God be aroused against you and destroy you from the face of the earth. (Deuteronomy 6:10-15 NKJV)

Observation: God knows the temptation the Israelites would have, going into the land He was giving them, to simply move in and forget He had given it to them. Moses challenges to keep their heart true to the Giver and not just simply take the gift, and the Giver, for granted.

Application: As an immigrant, I can identify with the Israelites. I grew up in Bogotá, the capital city of Colombia, on the northwest corner of South America. We grew up in a middle class family, all of us six children studied and graduated from high school, a privilege not everyone in the country enjoys even today. One of my brothers went on to college and to a successful career in radio and television broadcasting and as a journalist and book critic. Another one of my brothers was a police officer for many years and has been in the Air Force for many more.
When we left Bogotá to come to the United States, Bogotá’s population was about 2 ½ million people, more than most if not all cities in Mid-America. Our first home was in Takoma Park, Maryland, at that time the site of the General Conference, and just miles from Washington D.C. For me, living in that area was almost surreal, like living a dream. With my mother and younger brother, we would visit the monuments and museums, we would ride the bus whenever it would take us up and down the streets of that beautiful city, and all along we were in awe of its cleanliness and gorgeous architecture. I remember one Sunday ne notices a crowd gathered in front of a church, so we came close to see what was happening, and there, coming out of the church, was the president of the United States, Gerald Ford. Unbelievable! These three newcomers to the US, and here we got to see in person, though briefly and from quite a distance, the president of this great nation. On another occasion, while I was working at the Capital Hilton Hotel, just three blocks from the White House, I was asked to open and close the curtain for a program presented by the Gridiron Club. While I did it, up on the stage, barely 3 feet away from me, there stood Mrs. Ford, wife of the president of the United States, and her husband, the president, was just on the other side of the room. Mrs. Henry Kissinger, and a lot of other politicians and powerful people were also there. . . I LOVE THIS COUNTRY! :)
Little by little we got ourselves situated, got an apartment, bought furniture and clothes, attended college, got married, and continued life like everybody else. We became part of the people, part of the culture, part of the nation, citizens of this country, contributing to its economy and well being, voting, exercising our rights, enjoying our privileges, respecting its laws.
Today’s Bible reading reminds me that all we have and all we are is God’s gift to us. As immigrants, we have been given a great gift, the privilege of coming to this country. Personally, I’m grateful because here I received my faith, my family, and my education. Here we have been able to live and succeed, work and rest, travel and see many wonderful things. And yet I must pause to remember that the homes where we have lived have been built and lived in by others, the jobs I have had were pioneered by others, the education I have has been provided by others. That’s what God wants us to remember. To have the heart of an immigrant and be grateful for all we have and are because we have benefitted from the work of those who came before us, and because God has been the One to provide it all for us. May we never forget His generosity and turn away from Him Who gives us all.

Prayer: father, at this moment we pause to thank You for all You have given us. Help us to always be thankful for all Your generosity.

Talk About Miracles! - March 1, 2009

2009-03-01T08:02:00.001-08:00

Scripture: Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. And teach them to your children and your grandchildren, 10 especially concerning the day you stood before the Lord your God in Horeb, when the Lord said to me, ‘Gather the people to Me, and I will let them hear My words, that they may learn to fear Me all the days they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children.’ (Deuteronomy 4:9-10 NKJV)

Observation: Moses will not be going into the Promised Land with the Israelites, so he and God continue to prepare them for what they will encounter and what they should watch out for. For forty years God had been their Guide, their Protector, their Provider, their Miracle-worker, and yet there were times when they complained and quarreled, bickered and murmured. Now Moses is telling them that as they go into that land flowing with Milk and Honey God would still be with them, and His miracles and blessings would continue every day; so he warns them to not look at those miracles as the result of their own efforts and thus forget God. He tells them to look at all the powerful displays of God’s love for them and to tell their children and their children’s children so they too would develop an appreciation and love for God.

Application: I arrived at the airport and went to the electronic ticket dispenser. There were no lines and things moved fast, until I got my tickets with the words “No Seat Assignment.” I know what that means: The plane is over-booked by the airlines, and I happen to be one of the “lucky” ones to have no seat, unless someone else doesn’t show up in time for departure and I can have their seat. Since I had a short lay-over and a connecting flight, I was not particularly excited about the prospect of having to wait for another flight and another connection and arriving at my destination in the middle of the night. Fortunately, I did get my seat on the plane leaving Minneapolis and on the one leaving from one of the busiest airports in the world, Hartsfield in Atlanta, and after the more than four hours flight to Ontario, California, I arrived a few earlier than expected.
During the time I was flying, so were hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, of passengers around the world, hundreds of thousands of airplanes, large and small, suspended in the air by the miracles of gravity and aerodynamics, thousands of pilots whose brains and skills guided those planes safely to their destination, millions of workers on the grounds, billions of computational decisions on auto-pilots, radar equipment, reservation servers, just to make sure that I, one of millions of people traveling, would arrive safely and on time at my destination. While on the air, my plane was just one of thousands flying above, below, and around ours, all safely traversing the skies to their destinations.
Each time I travel I marvel at all these miracles! We may say it is modern technology; and it is. I marvel that God gave us such incredible brains to create this modern technology. I marvel that while anything could happen at any time and planes do crash and people do die I am alive today, after having flown over five thousand miles in one day, after being surrounded by thousands of people in two different airports, after driving on roads congested with traffic in two different states, after so many things that could have gone wrong I am safe and alive to see a new day! And what God, through Moses, asks me to do is to not forget Him through these miracles and instead build idols to modern technology, to order and safety, to the airline industry or to my GPS. Praise God, I’m alive and safe, because He loves me and wants me to experience a new day with friends and family. Praise God, I can witness for Him one more day through my words and my actions. Praise God, that I can pass these words on to someone who may not have come to know Him yet so they too may see Him in all the miracles of daily life.

Prayer: Father, thank You for the miracles of safety in long journeys across the country or across the world or across the street. Thank You for the miracle of life in a flower, in a bird, in a child. Thank You for breath, and water, and air, and sight. Than you for food and shelter and clothing and a job. Thank You for all Your miracles for us, simply because You rejoice in our happiness. Todya I praise You for being You.

Teach Problem Solving - February 28, 2009

2009-02-28T07:16:00.001-08:00

Scripture: (Deu 1:17 NKJV) 'You shall not show partiality in judgment; you shall hear the small as well as the great; you shall not be afraid in any man's presence, for the judgment is God's. The case that is too hard for you, bring to me, and I will hear it.'

Observation: After Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, counseled him to delegate some of the responsibility of judging among the Israelites, some of that load was lifted off of Moses’ shoulders and he could devote time to other things needing his attention. Now, at the end of his life and of his time as leader of Israel, he wants to make sure that those in charge of judgment show no partiality but that they be fair in all they say and do because they represent God Who will ultimately judge every case.

Application: It is tempting, as a parent, to want to help your children make every decision based on the knowledge and experience we have; however, the reason we have that knowledge and experience is because we have tried, and at times failed. When there are several children at home, it is tempting to solve the squabbles among them just so we as parents can enjoy some peace. In the neighborhood, we as parents feel compelled to take our children’s side, particularly when we believe they have been mistreated or hurt by somebody else. At school or church, we sometimes feel we need to intercede for our kids when we feel the teachers or the leaders have not been fair to them. But kids, the best untrained professional psychologists, can tell when they can play with our feelings and, if allowed, will take advantage of us for their own benefit.
I believe children should be allowed to solve their own problems, as much as possible, so they learn problem-solving skills, and so they will mature. If parents are constantly helping them when they get in trouble, they will simply learn to expect their parents help and will not learn to use good judgment. At home, allow your kids to work things out among themselves and only intervene at those times when they have tried and have reached an impasse. In the neighborhood, encourage your kids to work things out with their friends; don’t go and try to solve their problems by talking to their friends or their friends’ parents – it embarrass your kids and does not teach your kids anything. This does not mean you allow others to hurt, abuse, or take advantage of your children. You need to teach, advice, and most importantly, listen to them; these will be more useful and valuable throughout their experience. At school, don’t be to hasty to call and yell at the teacher because of something your child tells you; if they got a bad grade, maybe they deserved it; besides, no one has to always get good grades, and one grade that is not perfect can be an incentive to try harder or do better. I know of parents who will wear teachers out because they are not doing their job the way the parent believes it should be done simply because their child didn’t get good grades. And yet, the same parents are not spending enough time with their kids at home, encouraging them to do their school work, turning the TV off and reading to and with their children, consulting with the teacher as to how to help their children, etc.
So, don’t rush to solve your child’s problems; encourage them to learn to solve their own problems in a positive, constructive manner, and only intervene in those times when they have tried but have not been able to come up with a fair, workable solution – that’s where your own experience and life wisdom will be of greatest benefit. And don’t always take your child’s side; take time to listen, analyze, and observe, and then take the side of what is right.

Prayer: Father, thank You for allowing us to make our own decisions and to solve our own problems; it us thus that we grow and mature. Help us to let our children grow and mature in the same way.

Boundaries Protect - February 27, 2009

2009-02-27T07:27:00.001-08:00

Scripture: (Num 34:1-2 NKJV) Then the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, {2} "Command the children of Israel, and say to them: 'When you come into the land of Canaan, this is the land that shall fall to you as an inheritance; the land of Canaan to its boundaries.

Observation: One more time, while at the borders of the Promised Land, God gives Moses and the Israelites with him clear directions for their future. Chapter 35 deals with the cities of refuge to which anyone who might have killed somebody accidentally could go so the death of the other person would not be avenged by their relatives. But before settling in the cities of refuge, in chapter 34 we read of the boundaries for Israel – boundaries to set the limits of their entire country as well as internal boundaries between the tribes. These boundaries were set so Israel would know how far to go in settling in their new country, so they would not go indefinitely from conquest to conquest, but also so others would know not to trespass Israel’s borders. At the same time, each tribe needed to know how far their territory would extend, and they were to marry among those within their own tribe as well. These boundaries were for their knowledge, for their safety, for their protection.

Application: Psychologist have defined three types of boundaries in family systems: permeable (open, diffuse), impermeable (closed, rigid), or semipermeable (flexible, porous).

__________________________ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Impermeable Semipermeable Permeable

If we think of a house in which there is a room, an impermeable boundary is one in which the room is completely walled off with no windows and no doors, or, if there is a door, it has been locked. In this case, relationships are either cut off or characterized by poor communication or no communication, as well as rigidity and indifference. The individuality value prevails over the togetherness value.
A permeable boundary is just the opposite; it is one with weak boundaries. The room has insufficient walls, or perhaps walls with multiple doorways, but no doors. Passage in and out is completely unrestricted. Togetherness is all important; individuality tends to be sacrificed. Relationships are about feeling, thinking and doing everything together.
Semipermeable boundaries enable a healthy balance between togetherness and individuality. The room has some windows and a door or doors that can be opened at times and closed at other times. An individual can be free to be himself and yet fully engaged as a member of the group. Semipermeable boundaries are characterized by open communication, a healthy sense of self, and the ability to distinguish between one’s own thoughts, feelings and problems and those belonging to others.
Relationships need boundaries for their protection. There needs to be boundaries that are appropriate to that relationship – boundaries between spouses may be more permeable than those between parents and children. Boundaries between friends should be more impermeable than those between members of the family. Let’s keep our boundaries clear sp everyone may be safe.

Prayer: Father, thank You for the boundaries in our lives and relationships because they are not there to divide us but rather to protect us. May we respect others’ boundaries and thus show them the respect and love they deserve.

A Long Journey - February 26, 2009

2009-02-26T05:20:00.001-08:00

Scripture: (Num 33:1-2 NKJV) These are the journeys of the children of Israel, who went out of the land of Egypt by their armies under the hand of Moses and Aaron. {2} Now Moses wrote down the starting points of their journeys at the command of the LORD. And these are their journeys according to their starting points:

Observation: In one chapter, Moses traces the journey from Egypt to the borders of the Promised Land, recounting all the stops without necessarily talking about the events that took place at each of these with the exception of the death of Aaron. This is not the first nor the last time Moses takes the time to remind the Israelites of all the places where they have traveled and how the Lord blessed them and protected them even during those times when the people were complaining to and about His work for them.

Application: I was born in Bucaramanga, in the South-American country of Colombia, but only lived there during my first eighteen months of my life as my family moved to the capital city of Bogotá, where we lived until my mother, younger brother, and I moved to the United States.
In the United States, our journey has taken us to live in Michigan, Maryland, Oklahoma, New Jersey, Virginia, Wisconsin, Delaware, and now here in Minnesota; we have been a sort of Adventist gypsies, going from place to place wherever God takes us. Several years ago our daughters voiced some of their discontent because they had not grown like some many others, living in one place all their lives, and growing with the same friends all through school. While we recognize that so much movement had its drawbacks, we also wanted them to appreciate all the opportunities we have had, so we began a list of all the places we had visited, all the things we had seen, all the fun we had enjoyed; by the time we were finished, our travel-log of sorts covered several pages. To date, we have visited almost all the fifty states and several foreign countries; as a result of that experience, our girls realized how enjoyable our journeys had been and how much richer our lives were for having been to all those places, particularly when they thought that many of their friends from school had never left their city or county, much less the state where they had always lived. In addition, they feel very comfortable traveling to different places, they can converse with people of various lands, and can relate to what it is like to be in one or another place because they have either lived there or visited at one time or another. And when we count all the thousands of miles traveled, with God’s protection, it gives us one more reason to thank Him and praise Him.

Prayer: Father, thank You for all the opportunities You have given us to travel and see so many different and beautiful places and for providing us with your protection through thousands of miles. But most of all, Father, thank You for the time we have spent together while enjoying those various trips.

A Vow to God - February 25, 2009

2009-02-25T04:58:00.001-08:00

Scripture: (Num 30:1-2 NKJV) Then Moses spoke to the heads of the tribes concerning the children of Israel, saying, "This is the thing which the LORD has commanded: {2} "If a man makes a vow to the LORD, or swears an oath to bind himself by some agreement, he shall not break his word; he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.

Observation: This chapter deals with vows taken by men or women, and makes it clear that these vows are made with God and are therefore eternally binding. There is a difference in the words used in the original Hebrew; “If an individual made a vow (neer, a promise to do something) or a pledge (’issā, a promise not to do something), he must keep it without equivocation (vv. 1-2).[From the BKC]. The SDABC adds: Not break his word. Literally, “not untie his pledged word,” in the sense of “to loosen,” “to set free from obligation,” “to make lawful,” “to profane.” To refrain from carrying out one’s solemn promises to God is an act of base ingratitude and sinful neglect (Deut. 23:21; Eccl. 5:4; Matt. 5:33). It is better that a man make no vow than to promise and not carry it out (Eccl. 5:2–5).

Application: Nowadays people take promises and vow as light as if they were simply momentary opinions, particularly when it comes to marriage vows. In order to prevent long divorce procedures and a lot of expenses and hurt feelings, courts have created uncomplicated processes by which people can get a divorce without feeling guilty or responsible for their actions or decisions. These so-called “no fault” divorces simply claim that neither party is responsible for what happen and it was inevitable that the divorce would take place. What this has done is to lessen the sense of responsibility and commitment to each other, to the family, and ultimately to God that He intended for marriage and which should take place once a couple makes a vow to each other, and to God, to be united and remain so until death would separate them.
While we recognize that there are harmful relationships – abusive, neglectful, adulterous – when none of these exists, every effort should be made to not only maintain the relationship intact but to do all in the couple’s power to have a healthy, happy, and thriving relationship, and to eliminate divorce from their vocabulary so that instead of looking for a way out they will look for ways to make of their relationship a better one each day.

Prayer: Father, help us to not look for a way out of our marriage but rather for ways to make it better and life-lasting.

What Is Your Inheritance? - February 24, 2009

2009-02-24T05:06:00.000-08:00

Scripture: (Num 27:6-7 NKJV) And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying: {7} "The daughters of Zelophehad speak what is right; you shall surely give them a possession of inheritance among their father's brothers, and cause the inheritance of their father to pass to them.

Observation: God cares for the widow and the orphan, so when the daughters of Zelphehad came to Moses asking for some inheritance for the, He told Moses that their request was fair and just and made provisions not only for them but for others who experience the loss of a loved one.

Application: So many make no provision for their children or family in case of their death. The reality is that if a person makes no legal arrangements prior to their death or a time when they may not be able to make their own decisions, those decisions may be left up to their loved ones or to the court, people who know nothing about them. Here are some examples:
1. If you have an accident and you are unable to make health decision for your care, your family will have to. If you are in a vegetative state, and your family is asked to make the choice to discontinue life support, it is one of the most difficult, painful decisions for a loved one to make; but if you have your medical advance directives, then you are making the choice for yourself and the medical personnel simply have to abide by that.
2. If you don’t have a will, your children will be treated by the court as heathen; that is, the court may not make the choice as to where they are placed based on your faith, and so they could go to a relative or to anybody else, regardless of their personal beliefs or their commitment to God. Do you want your children to be raised by someone who does not share the same beliefs, hope, and promises that you do?
3. More families have been fractured after the death of a loved one because of money and possessions. Your will may not guarantee peace among your descendants, but at least you will be the one to decide how your possessions will be distributed.
4. Beside proper preparations for the distribution of your means, you can also decide on how you’d like your family to do with your body after death (cremation, donate to science, etc.), your funeral plans (who to speak, where to be buried, etc.), and all the other things related to the days after your death.
5. The most important benefit you can leave your family is the memories you create now and those they can enjoy for a long time to come. Make videos, take pictures, leave each member of the family something special, write letters, tell stories of your family of origin and of their upbringing that they can hear and retell to their own children. All those memories may be one of the most valuable treasures you pass on to the next generation.
6. Pass down your faith. All the treasures you may leave your children will one day disappear, but your faith and personal knowledge of God will continue for eternity.

Prayer: Father, thank you for our children; help us to give them the best inheritance which is that which lasts forever.

Move On - February 23, 2009

2009-02-23T05:08:00.001-08:00

Scripture: (Num 25:1-3 NKJV) Now Israel remained in Acacia Grove, and the people began to commit harlotry with the women of Moab. {2} They invited the people to the sacrifices of their gods, and the people ate and bowed down to their gods. {3} So Israel was joined to Baal of Peor, and the anger of the LORD was aroused against Israel.

Observation: While Israel wandered for forty years in the wilderness before going into the Promised Land, there were times when they remained longer at one place or another. The BKC explains: Though Balaam had been unsuccessful in cursing the people of Israel, he evidently managed to play a role in their seduction by the Baal cult at Peor (cf. 31:16; Rev. 2:14). When Israel was in Shittim, immediately east of the Jordan River where they camped before crossing the river (Josh. 2:1), Israelite men engaged in sexual immorality with Moabite women. This was an integral part of the Canaanite fertility rites (cf. Deut. 23:17-18; 1 Kings 14:22-24) and was practiced in connection with the regular services of their temples (Num. 25:2). The physical, carnal aspects of this idolatry tempted the Israelites and led them into the spiritual apostasy of worshiping . . . Baal. So serious was this breach of covenant, especially when Israel was on the threshold of the land of promise, that the Lord commanded Moses to take serious action—all the guilty individuals involved must die.

Application: This story illustrates the danger of lingering in the world. It becomes easier and more acceptable to adapt to what everyone does. This is particularly in the areas of sexuality and spirituality, areas which are closely related. This is also one of the reasons why young people must be even more watchful that while trying to maintain a good, strong, healthy spiritual life in their relationship, don’t fall into sexual immorality. The other side of the coin is people who enter into romantic relationships with people not of their faith, and after becoming emotionally, and sexually, involved with them, they begin to compromise their spiritual life. Don’t linger in sin or close to where sin is openly practice because either you or your children or both could be in danger of joining the others in their lifestyle.

Prayer: Father, Help us to move on from this place to the place you’ve gone to prepare for us, and protect us from sexual immorality and the worship of idols, whatever they may be.

Dumber than a Donkey - February 22, 2009

2009-02-22T06:19:00.001-08:00

Scripture: (Num 22:18-19 NKJV) Then Balaam answered and said to the servants of Balak, "Though Balak were to give me his house full of silver and gold, I could not go beyond the word of the LORD my God, to do less or more. {19} "Now therefore, please, you also stay here tonight, that I may know what more the LORD will say to me."

Observation: Balak entices Balaam to come curse Israel, his enemies. At first it seems as if Balaam, a prophet of God, does what the Lord tells him, but it appears that the possibility of enriching himself makes Balaam bend the rules and ignore God’s will. Peter writes: (2 Pet 2:15-16 NKJV) They have forsaken the right way and gone astray, following the way of Balaam the son of Beor, who loved the wages of unrighteousness; {16} but he was rebuked for his iniquity: a dumb donkey speaking with a man's voice restrained the madness of the prophet.
Jude adds: (Jude 1:11 NKJV) Woe to them! For they have gone in the way of Cain, have run greedily in the error of Balaam for profit, and perished in the rebellion of Korah.
And John in Revelation adds even more: (Rev 2:14 NKJV) "But I have a few things against you, because you have there those who hold the doctrine of Balaam, who taught Balak to put a stumbling block before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed to idols, and to commit sexual immorality.
From our story for today and these three texts we can conclude several things about Balaam:
1. Even though God had already told him not to go, he went back to God as if to double-check His will. If God already stated His will, why try to change it?
2. He told Balak’s delegations he wouldn’t go, but still asked them to stay around a little until he consulted with God. He allowed temptation to become sin.
3. He was more interested in riches than in doing God’s will. We can’t serve God and mammon.
4. Greed leads to rebellion.
5. He put a stumbling block for the Israelites on the way to the promised land (Numbers 31), so that even though God prophesied and pronounced a blessing through him, he still disregarded it in order to enrich himself.
6. His sins included greed, but also leading the Israelites to worship idols and to commit sexual immorality. These three are the most typical sins of our time.

Application: As heads of our household, we must be careful not to follow the steps of Balaam. Here’s what I mean:
1. Whenever we become aware of God’s will, we must follow it.
2. Do not allow love for the things of this world (money, house, boat, retirement, etc.) or the pursuit of them, become the guiding principle while abandoning the pursuit of the will of God.
3. Don’t let temptation linger or it will become sin.
4. Not only should we not take the steps that lead to sin and death, but we must watch that we don’t lead others or place in the path of others – i.e. our family – anything that may lead them to sin.
5. We must protect our family from the same three sins of Balaam – greed, idolatry, and sexual immorality.

Prayer: Father, thank You for reminding us through the story of Balaam than when we allow temptation to lead away from You we are dumber than a donkey. Help us to be wise and to protect our family from certain harm, danger, and death.

Priest, but not God - February 21, 2009

2009-02-21T06:35:00.001-08:00

Scripture: (Num 20:10-11 NKJV) And Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock; and he said to them, "Hear now, you rebels! Must we bring water for you out of this rock?" {11} Then Moses lifted his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod; and water came out abundantly, and the congregation and their animals drank.

Observation: The Israelites complained again about what they saw as their situation. Instead of looking at their freedom from slavery and the promise of their own country, they complained about the things they didn’t have. Instead of thanking God for their daily provisions, they complained because they wanted other things.
Moses had had enough, and his temper got the best of him so that when God told him to speak to the rock and water would gush out, instead Moses hit the rock, not just one but twice, and spoke proud words by which he just about claimed equality with God: “Must we bring water for you out of this rock?” Aaron was the High Priest of Israel, and Moses spoke with God face to face, but neither could, directly or indirectly, claim any of God’s attributes.

Application: As I think of this passage, it reminds me of an authoritarian home where the father exercises his power and authority over his family in such a way that there is no room for disagreement, or even a different opinion. In an authoritarian home, things are the way they are and will remain the way they are because of and as long as the head of the household says so because he rules over all. What that authoritarian parents must remember is that while they may be the head of the household, the priest of the home, they are still not God. Not only that, but that attitude will not be conducive to a healthy worship of God. In fact, if anything, it will lead the members of the household away from God.

Prayer: Father, forgive us when we have not given a good example as parents and have acted almost like gods; but we’re not, cannot be, don’t want to be. Help us, Father, to have a more loving spirit toward those we love, a more caring attitude toward those in our home, and a willingness and openness to do what’s best for all even if it’s not something we’re used to doing.

Family Influence - February 20, 2009

2009-02-20T07:19:00.000-08:00

Scripture: (Num 16:31-33 NKJV) Now it came to pass, as he finished speaking all these words, that the ground split apart under them, {32} and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed them up, with their households and all the men with Korah, with all their goods. {33} So they and all those with them went down alive into the pit; the earth closed over them, and they perished from among the assembly.

Observation: Korah, Dathan, and Abiram, leaders among the Israelites, moved from complaining against and questioning Moses’ leadership, to outright rebellion against him, and thus against God. Even when called to appear before God at the tabernacle, they refused. So Moses told the entire congregation to convene, but also told the people to separate from these three men and their families. Than Moses told them that if these men died of natural causes, then everyone should know that God had not called Moses, but that if they died in an unusual way, like being swallowed by the earth, then the people should know that God had chosen Moses. No sooner had he said these words than the earth opened up and swallowed these men, their families, and their possessions.

Application: We might wonder at times why these men’s families were killed with them. It is evident that their rebellion had spread to their own families, and therefore they too must be destroyed. Right after this event, the people who survived turned against Moses and Aaron and accused them of killing Korah, Dathan, and Abiram and their families. They were accused unfairly by those who survived, imagine if these men’s families had been left alive, their rebellion would have remained alive as well.
What we need to learn from this experience is that what we say and/or do has a powerful influence on our children and other relatives, particularly if we have a leadership position. How many have been led astray by those close to them. How many leaders have taken so many, including their loved ones, to destruction.
At the same time, what we say or do can have a very powerful positive influence on others; therefore, watch what you say, careful with what you do, for they may lead those close to you closer or farther away from God.

Prayer: Father, help us to be more careful with our words and our actions that they may be good and such that may lead others, specially our loved ones, closer to You.

The Dangers of Criticism - February 19, 2009

2009-02-19T05:12:00.001-08:00

Scripture: (Num 14:1-2 NKJV) So all the congregation lifted up their voices and cried, and the people wept that night. {2} And all the children of Israel complained against Moses and Aaron, and the whole congregation said to them, "If only we had died in the land of Egypt! Or if only we had died in this wilderness!

Observation: When the NKJV says that the people complain, the word in the original means to murmur, usually over night, and by implication, it tells us they were obstinate. Their actions were a constant nagging, critical nagging, undermining, complaining of Moses, of God, and of what they blamed God and Moses of doing to them rather what God had done for them.

Application: A complaint, when properly directed, may be a very positive act in marriage; criticism, on the other hand, undermines the marriage’s foundation. John Gottman (Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. . . and How You can Make Yours Last. Simon & Schuster:New York. 1994) makes a few observations about criticism and complaints: “Criticism involves attacking someone’s personality or character – rather than a specific behavior – usually with blame. . . As a general rule, a criticism entails blaming, making a personal attack or an accusation, while a complaint is a negative comment about something you wish were otherwise. To oversimplify, complaints could easily begin with the word I, and criticism with the word you. . . A criticism is also more likely than a complaint to make your partner defensive. . . One common type of criticism is to bring up a long list of complaints. I call this “kitchen sinking” because you throw in every conceivable negative thing you can think of. . . Unlike complaints, criticisms also tend to be generalizations. A telltale sign that you’ve slipped from complaining to criticizing is if global phrases
If you have a complaint, begin by using “I” instead of “you” and simply express one specific item, not a long list of past and present situations. With one complaint at a time, stop and listen for a response so that this can become a true conversation and not simply a one-sided finger-pointing session.

Prayer: Father, helps us to own our own faults and to be kind and patient with the faults of others.

The Challenges of Inter-cultural Marriages - February 18, 2009

2009-02-18T05:55:00.000-08:00

Scripture: Then Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married; for he had married an Ethiopian woman. (Numbers 12:1 NKJV)

Observation: If we were to read the second verse isolated from the first, we might wonder if Aaron and Miriam’s complaints may have some justification – although there really is no justification for jealousy directed toward someone whom the Lord has chosen for a leadership position! Here’s a very concise explanation of what all went on (From the SDABC): “Upon rejoining Moses at Mt. Sinai (see on Ex. 4:25 and 18:2), Zipporah had observed the heavy burdens borne by her husband and expressed to Jethro her fears for his well-being. Thereupon Jethro counseled Moses to select others to share the responsibilities of administration with him. When Moses acted upon this counsel without first consulting Miriam and Aaron, they became jealous of him and blamed Zipporah for what they considered Moses’ neglect of them (see PP 383). The fact that Zipporah was a Midianite, though a worshiper of the true God, was used by Miriam and Aaron merely as an excuse for rebelling against the authority of Moses. He did not violate the principle of nonmarriage with the heathen when he took her to wife, as they apparently claimed.”

Application: We can make many applications of this story to other situations. Among them, jealousy of others in leadership positions is forbidden by God. If He has chosen them instead of us, who are we to question Him or them? Instead, the Bible counsels us to pray for them that have that responsibility.
From the relational point of view, Aaron and Miriam were evidently jealous of Zipporah, Moses’ wife. We can draw several lessons for us today:
1. Once a brother or sister marries someone, we should find ways to embrace them and make them feel welcome.
2. We should respect the relationship and decisions that our siblings make with their own spouse as much as we wish to be respected when we and our spouse make decisions. I have see many families suffer greatly because somebody got involved in somebody else’s life. We may not like or agree with other family member’s decisions, but as long as their decisions do not hurt or interfere with our own family or decisions, we should stay out of their life.
3. Some cultures are more similar than others, and marriage between them may not be problematic. The more different the cultures are, the more difficulties the couple and families may encounter. Marriage is a challenging thing regardless of who enters into this relationship, and the more the couple has in common the stronger the relationship will be. The more differences among them, the more challenges they will likely face. While success in inter-cultural relationships is not impossible and many couples have been very successful and happy, many others have encountered insurmountable challenges which have caused or contributed to the demise of their relationship. I speak from experience since I was born and brought up in Colombia, South America, and my wife was born and raised in Virginia. We were raised differently, in different size families, a different language, even a different faith. However, by the time we met and eventually married, our commitment to God and to each other, and the similarities we shared were greater than the differences we had. Even so, we have had challenges from time to time and in certain places due to our cultural differences. Praise God, however, that we have overcome those differences and we remain committed and in love after 3 years of dating and more than 27 years of marriage.
So, look for areas where you are similar and build on those, and be aware of the possible challenges to you as a couple, to your families of origin, and to your children that your relationship may bring about.

Prayer: Father, we all came from the same Creator’s hand, but in the last six thousand years sin has divided us and made us all different. Not only that, but where and how we were raised has made us different. And now, as we enter into romantic and marital relationships, all those differences present us with challenges that threaten to separate us and destroy our families. Father, help us to find more things in common than things to divide us, and help us to stay committed to each other and to You, until no breath remain in us, or until Jesus returns for us.

Journey with God - February 17, 2009

2009-02-17T06:30:00.001-08:00

Scripture: At the command of the Lord they remained encamped, and at the command of the Lord they journeyed; they kept the charge of the Lord, at the command of the Lord by the hand of Moses. (Numbers 9:23 NKJV)

Observation: This is one of the most precious promises from God - that He would be with the Israelites, His people, during their travels. At night, the pillar of fire would tells them He was with them and was their light, and during the day the pillar of cloud would be with them and be their shade. The Israelites, at the same time, would only move when God wanted them to move, and they would remain in a place as long as He wanted them to remain in that place. This arrangement provided them comfort and courage in God, and also an opportunity for them to demonstrate their obedience and trust in Him.

Application: I have pondered about this text many times because of the work He chose for us in pastoral and educational ministry. We have moved so many times and to so many different locations – from the Southwestern cities of Oklahoma City and Muskogee, in Oklahoma, to the eastern United States in New Jersey, Delaware, and Virginia, to the Midwest in Wisconsin and Minnesota, and with nearly two decades before we retire who knows what other places He has in store for us. As a student returning from California for a summer youth pastor program, I remember driving through Oklahoma when the sun was just setting over the western horizon, a huge ball of fire as I never had seen before, never imagining that one day, after college, we would be working in that state. I remember driving from Columbia Union College to New York City and thinking to myself that I wouldn’t want to live in New Jersey (at least northern, industrial Jersey), and yet we spent some of the best four years in our lives in that state. Or I remember while attending Andrews University Theological Seminary we drove to Racine, Wisconsin, to visit some friends, and never imagine that one day, many years later, we would work and live there for the best seven years of our ministry. While in Wisconsin we drove to Minneapolis to catch a Yankees-Twins game, and the thought never even crossed our mind that one day we would live in that same area.
As I reflect on these experiences, I can’t help but wonder what God has in store for us next. I write these words in Portland, Oregon, where we are making two presentations. Yesterday we drove to Washington, just across the river, and Pam and I wondered if one day we might be out here, or in the south, where the warmth would be a welcome experience to cold-natured Pam, or out west, or the northeast, or who knows where. . . only God. And that’s what we marvel at the most, knowing that no matter where we are, if God takes us there, that is home, and He will take care of us. As long as we follow Him and do His will for our lives, we will be blessed and happiest. That being the case, we can’t wait to see what God has in store for us.

Prayer: Father, thank You for your leading in the past and for your guidance in our future. We know You have been with us all along; now we can hardly wait to see what You have in store for our future. May You continue to guide us and may we always see clearly what Your will for our lives is.

House Dedication - February 16, 2009

2009-02-16T07:47:00.000-08:00

Scripture: A man from the tribe of Levi married a woman who was a descendant of Levi. 2And the woman became pregnant and gave birth to a son. When she saw that he was a healthy child, she hid him for three months. 3But when she was no longer able to hide him, she took a papyrus basket for him and sealed it with bitumin and pitch. Then she put the child in it and set it among the reeds along the edge of the Nile. 4And his sister stationed herself at a distance, to find out what would happen to him. (Exodus 2:1-4 NET)

Observation: Since God thwarted the Egyptians’ plans to destroy the Israelite male children and thus Moses was born, he was cared for by his own mother. The task was challenging from day one, but more so as the baby grew and made the normal noises children that age make. Fearing that he would be discovered and harmed, she hid him in a basket, away from populated areas, and under the watch care of his older sister.

Application: While some are aborting their children because they would inconvenience their lives or others abandon them, neglect them, abuse them, or murder them, Moses’ mother risked her own safety to ensure that of her son. How can we ensure the safety and protection of our children today? Some thoughts:
1. Spending as much time with them throughout their growing years.
2. Providing a safe environment in which to grow up.
3. Guarding the influences around them – friends, media, school, etc.
4. Giving such an example that they can safely follow.
5. Providing for their needs – physically, emotionally, and most of all, spiritually.

Prayer: Father, as much as we wish to protect our children, we pray that You surrounded with Your protection, with Your holy angels, with the guidance of Your Holy Spirit. May no harm or danger come their way, and through their life experience may they see Your hand in their lives.

Jealousy Consumes - February 15, 2009

2009-02-15T18:35:00.000-08:00

First of All - February 14, 2009

2009-02-14T05:00:00.001-08:00

Scripture: (Num 3:40-41 NKJV) Then the LORD said to Moses: "Number all the firstborn males of the children of Israel from a month old and above, and take the number of their names. {41} "And you shall take the Levites for Me; I am the LORD; instead of all the firstborn among the children of Israel, and the livestock of the Levites instead of all the firstborn among the livestock of the children of Israel."

Observation: The firstborn has always had a privileged relationship with God. Adam was the firstborn of all. There is special mention of Cain as the firstborn of Adam and his horrific actions. As the firstborn of each generation is born, special mention is made of them. In the book of numbers, God reiterates that the Levites are God’s in place of all the firstborn of Israel; it is their privilege to be chosen and enjoyed the special honor of conducting the services of the sanctuary and being the ones in charge of the transportation, the care, and the maintenance of it. By doing that, they enjoyed a closer contact, at least geographically, to God, than any of the other tribes.

Application: Being the fifth child in a family of six siblings, I understand about the privilege the older siblings enjoy. In my home, the older child always had special privileges. For instance, when riding in our car, my mother was always seated by my father, and it was my sister, the firstborn, who would seat next to her. After my sister moved to the U.S., the one who would seat in the front seat would be the next or the second-born, in this case my second oldest brother. As you can imagine, it was a long time before I could seat in the front seat; in reality, I rarely did, except at those times when I was the only one riding with my dad in the car.
We had similar seating arrangements at the dining table with my father at the head, my mother at his left, and the older siblings down the line. . . I was at the far end. My older sister had her own room while the rest of us shared rooms. Once she left, y older brother got his own room, and when he got married, my other brother got his room. When my other sister got married, I finally got my own room, by then I was about thirteen years old and had been sharing a room with my younger brother for the last 5 years.
As I look back, it was not a matter of showing preference for any of us, it was a way of honoring and respecting us all individually and instilling in the younger siblings the same honor and respect for anyone older than us. Maybe that was part of what God was trying to instill in the Israelites; that the Levites were a special tribe in the same way the Israelites were chosen to be His special people. While we want to love our children equally, the birth order of our children gives us an opportunity to help them understand good, strong, healthy family dynamics and also lessons of respect, honor, and a teachable spirit so them may be open to learning from those older than they are.

Prayer: Father, thank You for teaching us to honor and respect those older than we are because from them we can also learn how to love, honor, and respect You.

Camping with the Family - February 13, 2009

2009-02-13T08:01:00.000-08:00

Title: Camping with the Family Topic: Family

Scripture: (Num 2:1-2 NKJV) And the LORD spoke to Moses and Aaron, saying: {2} "Everyone of the children of Israel shall camp by his own standard, beside the emblems of his father's house; they shall camp some distance from the tabernacle of meeting.

Observation: In the camp of Israel, God wanted there to be order and organization. Three tribes were to be encamped on each of the four sides of the tabernacle. The sight of those thousands of tents and the several millions of people in and around them must have been very impressive. I imagine there was order and solemnity much of the time, but there must have been lighter moments when children played and chased each other, families sat together to eat, or to take a nap, or to talk about the events of the day. This was a forty-year-long family camping experience. Of course, there were probably also times when things got a little tense around camp and people stepped on each others’ toes. . . that all’s part of being with others.

Application: I remember one camping trip with my family in particular. My dad had a tent made for our family (you didn’t just go to a store to buy one). Since there were six of us children and my parents, it had to be big enough to hold all eight of us. It was made of heavy canvass, and the support was made or regular plumbing pipes. What this means is that the tent was very heavy, and carrying all those pipes and trying to figure out where each went made it for hard work, a lot of head, and back, aches, lots of tense moments, lots of stress when what we were looking for was rest.
But once the canvas monster was finally set up, it was pure joy. We gathered wood for a fire so we could cook our meals. The place where we camped was an open field that belonged to one of my dad’s customer and who granted us permission to stay over the weekend, by the river, and no one anywhere near us to disturb us. The open field was a place where cows pastured, so we needed to be careful where we stepped; at the same time, the dry remnants were thrown on the fire because we had been told they would serve as mosquito repellent. During that weekend, it was hot some of the time (which under a canvass tent was almost unbearable), it was rainy at times, and it was cool at times, but it was most enjoyable most of the time. I remember swimming in the crystal clear water of the river, eating freshly caught fish from the same river, sitting at night by the fire and looking up at millions of stars we couldn’t normally see from our city home.
Now, some forty years later, I still remember so much of that weekend – including having to pull my brother-in-law’s car all the way home (he and my sister were not yet married, so it was most embarrassing and humiliating for him, even though my dad didn’t say anything to make him feel so). Those special family times make our memories and make our future. We may not enjoy camping, but certainly there are activities we can enjoy doing together. With my wife and daughters, we enjoy traveling to new places (we have been to 45 of the 50 states in the union and several countries outside of the US. We treasure everyone of the memories we have collected through all those years. So, make the time and spend the time together with your family building the memories you will carry on for a lifetime.

Prayer: Father, help us be more intentional in setting aside time to be together as families in relaxing, memorable moments.

Walking with God - February 12, 2009

2009-02-12T05:00:00.001-08:00

Title: Walking with God Topic: Family

Scripture: (Lev 26:3-6 NKJV) 'If you walk in My statutes and keep My commandments, and perform them, {4} then I will give you rain in its season, the land shall yield its produce, and the trees of the field shall yield their fruit. {5} Your threshing shall last till the time of vintage, and the vintage shall last till the time of sowing; you shall eat your bread to the full, and dwell in your land safely. {6} I will give peace in the land, and you shall lie down, and none will make you afraid; I will rid the land of evil beasts, and the sword will not go through your land.

Observation: As the book of Leviticus closes, God is not only giving laws, rituals, and ceremonies, but also promises to those who walk in His laws and statutes and to those who choose not to. His blessings are to the individual as well as to the community, they include blessings of sustenance and of protection, promises of peace and rest.

Application: Today is a good time for each of us to claim these promises from God. As the economy goes from bad to worse and terrorism and lawlessness go rampant in so many places in the world, even close to home, we need to ask for and claim these promises from God. What I see, however, is that God is already fulfilling those promises; our bread may not be as plentiful as before, which could actually be a blessing so we can loose some of the weight that’s hurting us. We are learning to take better care of ourselves, of our means, of our environment, of our families. Even when it comes to external forces that threaten to hurt us and destroy us, He is still watching over us and keeping us safe.

Prayer: Father, help us to walk closely with You. We know what the resulting promises are, but just the joy of walking closing with You is the greatest blessing we can hope for. May Your blessings of sustenance and protection surround our families today and always.

Treat Kindly - February 11, 2009

2009-02-11T05:06:00.001-08:00

Title: Treat Kindly Topic: Familia

Scripture: (Lev 25:42-43 NKJV) 'For they are My servants, whom I brought out of the land of Egypt; they shall not be sold as slaves. {43} 'You shall not rule over him with rigor, but you shall fear your God.

Observation: Since the Israelites had been slaves, one would think they wouldn’t want to subject someone else to such lifestyle; unfortunately, that was the case once they came to the land of promise. Even then, however, God established regulations that would provide for the freedom of these slaves, on the year of Jubilee, and in the mean time they were to be treated fairly and justly, not with “rigor.” The reason given by God is that they too are His children and deserve to be treated like children of the Almighty and not, as was the case, as less than animals.

Application: When we understand and come to appreciate the fact that our loved ones – spouse, children, relatives – are also God’s children and are therefore to be treated with love, kindness, and patience rather than with “rigor” or harshly, then we will be not only fulfilling God’s purpose for all of us but will also have better, healthier, happier families.

Prayer: Father, remind us today we are all Your children and thus help us to treat each other with kindness.

Celebrate Together - February 10, 2009

2009-02-10T03:35:00.000-08:00

Title: Celebrate Together Topic: Family

Scripture: (Lev 23:23-25 NKJV) Then the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, {24} "Speak to the children of Israel, saying: 'In the seventh month, on the first day of the month, you shall have a sabbath-rest, a memorial of blowing of trumpets, a holy convocation. {25} 'You shall do no customary work on it; and you shall offer an offering made by fire to the LORD.'"

Observation: There were seven annual feasts that the Israelites were to celebrate, beside the weekly Sabbath: The Passover and Unleavened Bread, The Feast of Firstfruits, The Feast of Weeks, the Feast of Trumpets, the Day of Atonement, and the Feast of Tabernacles. While they all were Sabbaths, that is, rest-days, some of them were great days of celebration. For instance, the Day of Atonement was a very solemn day, a day of judgment, while the Passover was a festivity as they remembered God’s miraculous deliverance from the slavery of Egypt. The Feast of Tabernacles reminded them of the long, forty-year journey through the wilderness, but it was also a celebration of God’s protection throughout all their journeying. All the feasts included time for rest – Sabbath – family gatherings, and family celebrations.

Application: In our day, regardless of where we live, there are annual times for rest, gathering, and celebration. In the United States there are patriotic holidays such as Independence Day (July 4), Memorial Day, and Labor Day. There are also religious holidays such as Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Many also gather during other times to celebrate birthdays or to have family reunions where relatives from many places gather together to get reacquainted, to remember old memories, and to build new ones.
As families, we should take advantage every year to find ways to gather with our loved ones to remember and celebrate. Vacations serve that purpose – we celebrate our jobs and having time off from them to spend time together in a more restful setting. Birthdays give us another opportunity to gather together to celebrate a year of life that just passed and to look forward to a good year of life just beginning.
Find ways and times to gather and celebrate together as a family

Prayer: Father, thank you for all those special times when we have gathered and been together with our families to celebrate special occasions or simply to be together. May we have many more of those opportunities throughout our lives.

Don't Do Like Everybody Else Does - February 9, 2009

2009-02-09T05:07:00.000-08:00

Title: Don’t do like everybody else Does Topic: Family, Marriage

Scripture: (Lev 18:3-5 NKJV) 'According to the doings of the land of Egypt, where you dwelt, you shall not do; and according to the doings of the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you, you shall not do; nor shall you walk in their ordinances. {4} 'You shall observe My judgments and keep My ordinances, to walk in them: I am the LORD your God. {5} 'You shall therefore keep My statutes and My judgments, which if a man does, he shall live by them: I am the LORD.

Observation: Chapter 18 of Leviticus lists intimate relations that God considers unhealthy and sinful and thus must not occur among His people. Evidently these practices must have been common in Egypt, where they had just come from, and in Canaan, where they were headed, and God wanted to prevent His people from falling into the same type of immoral practices. Reading the chapter carefully, one can see a long list of prohibitions against “uncovering the nakedness” of their close relatives, what today would be considered incest among various members of close generations. While most Bibles render the expression as “uncover their nakedness,” the NIV renders it as “do not have sexual relations,” this showing that it is not just the simple act of looking to see the other person while they are naked. [This may help explain somewhat the sin on Noah’s son].
Also forbidden in this chapter we find adultery, intermarry with a non-Israelite, homosexuality, and bestiality or intercourse with an animal.

Application: While all of the sinful and deviant practices of the Egyptians and Canaanites have been present in some form and to some extent throughout the centuries and in many parts of the world, it seems as if today, in our day and with the ease of communication through the printed media, movies, and the internet, all of their practices, and more, are either surfacing when they used to be hidden, or are becoming more openly tolerated and encouraged as “normal” and as healthy as heterosexual relationships between two consenting, married adults. The results of these practices continue to be seen in child molestation, rape, domestic violence, and the spread of diseases bot to those who practice such things and to many innocent victims who have nothing to do with them.
God’s plans for us are always best. Had everyone always followed the things spoke of in this chapter alone, much, maybe none of the corruption and deviant behavior of today would not exist.

Prayer: Father, help us to uphold Your regulations concerning sexuality for the protection of our marriages, our families, our children, and those who are innocent and yet are abused by deviant, sick, and sinful people who simply want to exploit them for their own selfish pleasure and purpose.

Like Our Intercessor - February 8, 2009

2009-02-08T07:21:00.001-08:00

Title: Like Our Intercessor Topic: Family

Scripture: (Lev 16:29-31 NKJV) "This shall be a statute forever for you: In the seventh month, on the tenth day of the month, you shall afflict your souls, and do no work at all, whether a native of your own country or a stranger who dwells among you. {30} "For on that day the priest shall make atonement for you, to cleanse you, that you may be clean from all your sins before the LORD. {31} "It is a sabbath of solemn rest for you, and you shall afflict your souls. It is a statute forever.

Observation: The most solemn day of the entire year of the Jewish calendar was the Day of Atonement, when the High Priest would go inside the Most Holy Place of the sanctuary to perform the act of cleansing from all the sins committed and confessed throughout the year. This was the day of judgment, and everyone had to have confessed their sins if they were to receive forgiveness and remain part of the people. The day demanded preparation both on the part of the people and on the part of the High Priest. While the daily service was important for the individuals coming to offer sacrifices, this annual service was crucial for each individual who had brought a sacrifice for their sins, and for the entire nation.

Application: There is no replacement for daily prayer in our lives and in our families. Not a day should go by when we don’t pray for ourselves and for our loved ones. Not a day should go by without us interceding on behalf of each other. But there should also be a special season every year when we come together to fast and to pray, to remember the sacrifice of Jesus on our behalf, and to intercede for each other before our Heavenly Intercessor. There should be a special day dedicated to prayers of intercession for our family, when we repent of our sins toward God and toward each other, when we make confession of all we have done to hurt or harm each other, and where we can have a new beginning, both with God and with each other.

Prayer: Father, while the daily or yearly ministration of earthly priests is no longer needed, we are grateful for the constant intercession of our Heavenly Intercessor, Jesus Christ. As our Judge and our Attorney, He ministers on our behalf all the time, and for that we thank You. May we also have the spirit of intercession as we lift our prayers up to you on behalf of our loved ones. May your grace and love surround them right now as we read these words.

Clean Before a New Beginning - February 7, 2009

2009-02-07T05:29:00.001-08:00

Title: Clean Before a New Beginning Topic: Marriage, Forgiveness

Scripture: (Lev 14:8-9 NKJV) "He who is to be cleansed shall wash his clothes, shave off all his hair, and wash himself in water, that he may be clean. After that he shall come into the camp, and shall stay outside his tent seven days. {9} "But on the seventh day he shall shave all the hair off his head and his beard and his eyebrows; all his hair he shall shave off. He shall wash his clothes and wash his body in water, and he shall be clean.

Observation: For the people of Israel, having just left their captivity in Egypt, and on the way to establish their new home as an independent nation, the laws and regulations concerning health issues were very specific and very important for their well-being and survival. An example is all the laws concerning lepers – how to decide whether the person had leprosy and what to do with the person, hot to tell if they had been cured from leprosy and what cleansing rituals as well as sin-atonement rituals needed to be performed before the person would be allowed in camp and before they would be allowed to rejoin the people. The diagnosis, treatment, and steps to rejoin were long, maybe tedious, but they ensured the safety of the people and a recognition that health, healing, forgiveness, and salvation come from the Lord.
Leprosy is primarily a disease of the peripheral nerves and mucosa of the upper respiratory tract; skin lesions are the primary external symptom. Left untreated, leprosy can be progressive, causing permanent damage to the skin, nerves, limbs and eyes. Contrary to popular belief, leprosy does not actually cause body parts to simply fall off. There are two principal forms of the disease. In tuberculoid leprosy, few bacilli are present, and the symptoms are pale, patchy spots on the face, hands and feet. In the more contagious, lepromatous form, many microorganisms are present in the skin and in nasal secretions; patches and lumps can occur all over the body, and the facial lines tend to deepen. Leprosy does not usually cause gross mutilations. But it can cause a numbness of the hands and feet that leads to accidental burning or mutilation of extremities. This is a source of the myth that leprosy causes parts of the body to drop off.

Application: In marriage, even the healthiest and happiest one, there are times when one or the other makes a mistake, hurts the other person, and causes a wound in their relationship. It may be something small and therefore easy to heal. But there are times and situations where the guilty party does something to hurt their spouse, and their relationship, but instead of confessing and making restitution (as we mentioned in a previous entry), they let it fester. Like a wound that is not properly cleaned, the wound in this relationship gets infected, festers, creates a bigger injury, and ends up poisoning the entire system.
In marriage, these problems that are not dealt with, are like leprosy. At first, they are infected, but not obviously noticed. If left untreated, however, they begin to affect the nervous system of the relationship so that eventually the emotions are not felt, and eventually other wounds are not felt anymore but yet cause the loss of the relationship.
Leprosy does not have to kill as medication can treat it so that it doesn’t progress or kills the person. In marriage, confession and repentance are the best medicine. As we confess our sins to God and to one another, the diseases that kill healthy marriages can be eradicated and the relationship restored.

Prayer: Father, forgive us for the times when we have hurt our spouse, and help us to be more sensitive to their needs in the future. And Father, help us to confess to them our sins toward them so that there may be total healing in our relationship.

Health Matters - February 6, 2009

2009-02-06T10:38:00.000-08:00

Title: Health Matters Topic: Health, Family

Scripture: (Lev 11:2 NKJV) "Speak to the children of Israel, saying, 'These are the animals which you may eat among all the animals that are on the earth:

Observation: The eleventh chapter of the book of Leviticus is God’s list of clean and unclean animals. While this is the first time we read it in the Bible, it is clear from the story of Noah’s ark that the distinction was in place since the week of creation. For the recently freed slaves, it was important for them to learn that some of the diet they might have been following in Egypt was not healthy and would eventually lead them to have the same diseases as their captors. Moses wrote: (Exo 15:26 NKJV) "If you diligently heed the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in His sight, give ear to His commandments and keep all His statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you which I have brought on the Egyptians. For I am the LORD who heals you." God’s plan has not changed with the establishment of the Christian faith; after all, it is still the same God. (3 John 1:2 NKJV) Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.

Application: One of the responsibilities we have is to take care of our bodies, since they are temples of the Holy Spirit – (1 Cor 6:19 NKJV) Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? But once we establish a family, not only should we take care of ourselves but also we should care for the health of the other family members. Every so often I have watched programs that report on morbidly obese people and have wondered, if they can’t get out of bed, how do they eat? Who is feeding them? Another way of asking these questions is , who is enabling them to continue this deadly path? While their spouses or children may claim they’re doing it our of love or that they don’t want to see their loved ones “starve,” their actions, instead of helping their loved one, are really killing them. In the family, love is not just a word expressed but a positive action on behalf of its members. If food doesn’t affect me negatively by causing me to gain weight, it doesn’t mean it has the same effect on others. So we must not only think of what food does to us but what effect it may have on the other members of the family. Helping our loved ones to enjoy good health is another way to show them we love them.

Prayer: Loving Father, thank You for your guidelines, teachings, and lessons concerning our health. May we all be unselfish and more loving in what we eat and in what we provide our families for consumption.

Seven-day Consecration - February 5, 2009

2009-02-05T04:21:00.000-08:00

Title: Seven-day Consecration Topic: Marriage

Scripture: (Lev 8:33 NKJV) "And you shall not go outside the door of the tabernacle of meeting for seven days, until the days of your consecration are ended. For seven days he shall consecrate you.

Observation: At the beginning of Leviticus 8 we read that it was time to dedicate Aaron and his sons to the priesthood, so Moses told them to wash themselves – a physical cleansing necessary to prepare them for the spiritual cleansing. Then Moses put on them the priestly garments that had been specifically designed for them. The next step in the process was the ritual of the spiritual cleansing, which included several sacrifices and placing blood on the right ear lobe, right thumb, and right big toe of the foot, as well as sprinkling blood on their garments – all of these symbolizing that the blood of the sacrifice was covering their sin and enabling them to serve and minister on behalf of the people. There was one more step necessary before they could begin their ministry, and that was a seven-day consecration of themselves. It was not until these seven days were finished that they could officially begin the daily and annual ministrations of the sanctuary, but from then on and until Israel forfeited their call by rejecting the Messiah, the Levitical priesthood would remain an integral part of the spiritual life of the nation of Israel.

Application: The rituals and ceremonies surrounding the beginning of the Levitical priesthood remind me of all that is involved in the process of becoming husband and wife. On the wedding day, the man and the woman go through a process of cleansing and preparing themselves. Some ladies go to the beauty shop, get their hair and nails done, some get a pedicure and make-up applied. The man might have gotten a hair cut and in the morning of his wedding he shaves and takes a cleansing shower. Then the couple, separately, get their wedding clothes on – he gets his tuxedo on, she gets help to get her wedding gown on. From their separate homes the couple makes their way to the church or wedding chapel, being careful that he does not see her before the ceremony. At last, the groom goes up to the front of the church with his best man and the pastor, the rest of the wedding marches in, and finally the bride, holding on to her father’s arm, marches down the aisle to join the awaiting groom where they proceed together through the wedding ceremony where they are legally and religiously united as one in the sight of God and all who have gathered to witness their union.
There is one more tradition part that cannot be overlooked in this process of becoming one – the honeymoon. While some people view it as a sort of vacation during which the couple travels to exotic places, swim at beautiful beaches, cruise or fly from one place to the next, the honeymoon is the time when the couple consummates their marriage. From now on, they are one and their covenant must remain “for as long as they live.” The honeymoon serves as a way to seal their commitment to one another, and most importantly, to God, by fulfilling His plan for their lives of becoming one and by committing to not let anyone or anything come between them.

Prayer: Loving Father, we rededicate ourselves to You this day, as husband and wife, to remain together, under Your will and blessings, and for Your honor and glory, for the rest of our lives. May nothing or no one come between us, and may the three of us – husband, wife, and You – walk together more closely everyday until the day Jesus returns and we continue walking together with You for eternity.

Sin and Restitution

2009-02-04T05:05:00.001-08:00

Title: Sin and Restitution Topic: Forgiveness

Scripture:(Lev 6:1-5 NKJV) And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying: {2} "If a person sins and commits a trespass against the LORD by lying to his neighbor about what was delivered to him for safekeeping, or about a pledge, or about a robbery, or if he has extorted from his neighbor, {3} "or if he has found what was lost and lies concerning it, and swears falsely; in any one of these things that a man may do in which he sins: {4} "then it shall be, because he has sinned and is guilty, that he shall restore what he has stolen, or the thing which he has extorted, or what was delivered to him for safekeeping, or the lost thing which he found, {5} "or all that about which he has sworn falsely. He shall restore its full value, add one-fifth more to it, and give it to whomever it belongs, on the day of his trespass offering.

Observation: Moses is now talking about all the specifics offerings to be presented by the people according to the different offenses or reasons. The one in the portion for today has to do with lying to a neighbor by robbing them, extortion, or even by finding something that belongs to the neighbor and keeping it. Not only was there to be a sacrifice to be offered, but full restitution was to be made to the owner, and an additional one-fifth.

Application: The passage really applies to marriage as well as to any relationship. If we withhold anything from our spouse – feelings, finances, intimacy, communication, time, etc., – it is robbing them of what rightly belongs to them. The solution, besides asking God for forgiveness, is to make an effort to give our spouse what they should rightly receive, and then go the extra mile, or give them the additional one-fifth, to make up for what they have not received from us before.

Prayer: Father, forgive us when we have kept to us what we should have given our spouse, and help us to make proper and generous restitution.

As the Lord Commanded - February 3, 2009

2009-02-03T04:33:00.000-08:00

Title: As the Lord Commanded Topic: Family, Parenting

Scripture: (Exo 40:32 NKJV) Whenever they went into the tabernacle of meeting, and when they came near the altar, they washed, as the LORD had commanded Moses.

Observation: As Moses closes relating the inventory of the newly built sanctuary he makes it a point to assert that everything was built “as the Lord had commanded.” He wants to make sure people understand that nothing came out of the creative genius of a skilled craftsman, that it wasn’t the will of any one individual, or that he or the craftsmen were the ones that came up with the ideas but rather that he and they were following every one of God’s instructions in the construction of this structure and of the priestly garments.

Application: Here’s an important lesson for parents: as long as we do as the Lord commands, we will not only be following His will but He will ensure that the outcome is just as He wanted it to be. In our task of parenting, we must make sure we do everything as Lord commands and then trust the results to Him. While God gives us skills, gifts, talents, personality traits, wisdom, and knowledge to know how to raise our children, even the most skilled parents still lack what God can offer with His omnipotence and omniscience. Therefore, trust Your children to God, acknowledge Him, submit yourself and them to Him, do everything just as He commands, and trust the results to Him.

Prayer: Father, this day, we entrust our children to Your care, asking You to take good care of them, trusting that You will be the one to take them through the challenges of this life and of this world and grant them eternal life.

The Colors of Our Family - February 2, 2009

2009-02-02T04:56:00.001-08:00

Title: The Colors of our Family Topic: Family

Scripture: (Exo 39:1 NKJV) Of the blue, purple, and scarlet thread they made garments of ministry, for ministering in the holy place, and made the holy garments for Aaron, as the LORD had commanded Moses.

Observation: Moses recounts with great detail all the materials used for the building of the furnishings of the sanctuary and of the clothing worn by the priests. As he closes the book of Exodus, Moses now reviews again all that was made, how and with what materials. The exquisite materials and colors must have made of this portable structure one that was not only beautiful but awe inspiring. Just a look at the sanctuary, even from a distant, must have cause people to pause and wonder about its significance as God’s abiding place on earth.

Application: It occurs to me that we, as members of the family, come from so many different places, have different family, cultural, educational, financial, and maybe even racial background, have a variety of experiences which have made us who we are. And yet, it is as if God knits all these threads into a beautiful, colorful tapestry. That’s why divorce is so traumatic – it tears and mars God’s beautiful handiwork, and causes deep wounds that can never be completely restored.

Prayer: Father, thank You for the beautiful weaving You’ve made, our family. Please make its beauty shine for Your glory and for the well being of each of its members.

Attention to Detail - February 1, 2009

2009-02-01T07:51:00.000-08:00

Title: Attention to Detail Topic: Parenting

Scripture: (Exo 38:21 NKJV) This is the inventory of the tabernacle, the tabernacle of the Testimony, which was counted according to the commandment of Moses, for the service of the Levites, by the hand of Ithamar, son of Aaron the priest.

Observation: I find it interesting that Moses wrote in such detail the making of the furnishings of the sanctuary and of the vestments worm by the priests, and now he gives an exact account of all that was “spend” in the making of these. If Moses lived today, he would probably work for an accounting firm or for a large corporation as the Chief Financial Officer.

Application: The faithfulness with which Moses gives account is a true lesson for all parents. Because children watch us so closely, we must be careful not to misuse anything, from work or at home or even the natural resources God provides us with. If you make copies at work, your children will grow believing that it is ok to do the same at school of at their job. If you don’t pay your taxes correctly, your children will be looking for ways to cheat the government, and others. If you take from your neighbor what is his, your children will also believe they can do the same with somebody else’s things. Our lesson of accountability will teach children about their own responsibility to be accountable.

Prayer: Father, help us to always be faithful and true with whatever means you give us, with what others pay us or expect us to use on their behalf, and even with nature, that if or when we are called to render account, we may be found upright in everything, before you and others.

No Compromise - January 31, 2009

2009-01-31T06:24:00.001-08:00

Title: No Compromise Topic: Parenting

Scripture: (Exo 34:12-16 NKJV) "Take heed to yourself, lest you make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land where you are going, lest it be a snare in your midst. {13} "But you shall destroy their altars, break their sacred pillars, and cut down their wooden images {14} '(for you shall worship no other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God), {15} "lest you make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land, and they play the harlot with their gods and make sacrifice to their gods, and one of them invites you and you eat of his sacrifice, {16} "and you take of his daughters for your sons, and his daughters play the harlot with their gods and make your sons play the harlot with their gods.

Observation: While it may seem strange to us that God would tell His people to go into the land He was giving them and completely wipe out all the people already living there, we must understand the reasons. The basis for this command is found in the text for today. The BKC explains: “Making a treaty with idolaters would lead to involvement in their sacrificial communal meals (34:15), to intermarrying their daughters (many of whom were spiritual and/or physical prostitutes to their gods; cf. Hosea 4:13-14), and even to making molten images (Ex. 34:17; cf. 20:4) as they had already done with the gold calf (32:4). Tragically Israel did not heed these warnings and they did in fact become involved in worshiping the Canaanites’ and others’ false gods. Ultimately this led to Israel being exiled.”
It wasn’t only the danger of rejecting God and accepting idols, it was rather what the worship of those idols would, and indeed did, lead them to do. Many of the pagan practices included not just the worship of idols but temple prostitution and ultimately the sacrifice of children in the fire to those idols. God knew how low such compromises would lead them and was trying to protect them from such horror. Sadly, in their blindness and stubbornness, the Israelites disobeyed God, didn’t destroy all the people, entered into relationships with them, accepted their gods, and did sacrifice their children and their altars, both spiritually and physically.

Application: The application for us as parents today should be as clear: don’t compromise principle, choose carefully what you expose your children to. I am amazed at how lightly parents today take the issue of Adventist education as opposed to any other. It’s as if we have been so blinded that we don’t see what harm our children could experience if they went to a public school or a Christian school of a different faith, or what problems may arise if they become close friends with non-Adventists, or what problems may exists if they marry them. And yet, all of us know from personal experience so many people who have indeed taken these steps and now they or their children are no longer Adventists or even believe in God.
So, watch carefully what you expose your children to – what they read, what they watch, who they associate with, where they go to school, etc. Those decisions could have eternal consequences.

Prayer: Father, today as during the Exodus we as parents need all the wisdom You can possibly give us to make the right decisions. I may not be anymore challenging to be a parent today than in other times, but this is our time, these are our challenges, and those are the decisions we have to make. So, please endow us with the courage, the strength, and the wisdom to do what is right, even if it’s no popular with our children or others.

Passed Down - January 30, 2009

2009-01-30T07:33:00.001-08:00

Title: Passed Down Topic: Parenting

Scripture: (Exo 31:1-11 NKJV) Then the LORD spoke to Moses, saying: {2} "See, I have called by name Bezalel the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah. {3} "And I have filled him with the Spirit of God, in wisdom, in understanding, in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship, {4} "to design artistic works, to work in gold, in silver, in bronze, {5} "in cutting jewels for setting, in carving wood, and to work in all manner of workmanship. {6} "And I, indeed I, have appointed with him Aholiab the son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan; and I have put wisdom in the hearts of all who are gifted artisans, that they may make all that I have commanded you: {7} "the tabernacle of meeting, the ark of the Testimony and the mercy seat that is on it, and all the furniture of the tabernacle; {8} "the table and its utensils, the pure gold lampstand with all its utensils, the altar of incense, {9} "the altar of burnt offering with all its utensils, and the laver and its base; {10} "the garments of ministry, the holy garments for Aaron the priest and the garments of his sons, to minister as priests, {11} "and the anointing oil and sweet incense for the holy place. According to all that I have commanded you they shall do."

Observation: Bezalel was Hur’s grandson. Tradition teaches that Hur was Miriam’s husband – Miriam who was Moses’ sister. While God endowed these men with special skills to be able to make all the ornaments of the sanctuary and the clothing to be worn by the priests, my guess is that they were already gifted and experienced in those arts, something they might have learned from their respective fathers as it has been for millennia.

Application: One of those gifts we can give our children is to pass down to them skills, knowledge, good memories, family history, all of which strengthen their roots in their past and enable them to do better in their future. One of the greatest gifts we can pass down to our children is our faith in God and our hope in the soon return of Jesus. While somebody said that God does not have grandchildren, by which they mean that we all have the same opportunity to be children of God, in order for our children to know about God we, as their parents, must pass our personal faith is God as our Father.

Prayer: Father, may we pass down to our children not only useful knowledge and skills but most importantly our faith You that they, too, may come to know You and love You and accept Your gift of salvation.

Holy to the Lord - January 29, 2009

2009-01-29T05:08:00.001-08:00

Title: Holy to the Lord Topic: Marriage

Scripture: (Exo 28:36 NKJV) "You shall also make a plate of pure gold and engrave on it, like the engraving of a signet: HOLINESS TO THE LORD.

Observation: As part of the priestly garments, the high priest was to wear a breastplate with a stone for each of the twelve tribes of Israel, and a turban with a gold plate engrave with the words “Holy or Holiness to the Lord.” The breastplate was significant in that “"Whenever Aaron enters the Holy Place, he will bear the names of the sons of Israel over his heart on the breastpiece of decision as a continuing memorial before the LORD” (vs.29). As tu the gold plate on the turban, “It will be on Aaron's forehead, and he will bear the guilt involved in the sacred gifts the Israelites consecrate, whatever their gifts may be. It will be on Aaron's forehead continually so that they will be acceptable to the LORD” (vs.38). God’s people were to be on the mind and over the heart of the high priest whenever he performed his ministry in the sanctuary.

Application: The role of the husband as the high priest of the family is also very significant. His wife, his family, his children must be on his mind and in his heart every time he prays and every time he performs any act before God. His words and actions toward his family must be guided not only rationally (the mind), but emotionally (the heart).
But there’s something else in the symbolism here which we must not overlook. The words engraved on the gold plate attached to the turban – Holy to the Lord – is a call and a challenge to purity, to be separated from any influence that would distract or detract from service to Him, to refrain from any thought, word, or cation that according to His will or contrary to it. Those words demonstrate a total, undivided commitment to God which, as a result, makes our commitment to our spouse stronger and more durable. It was such commitment which kept Joseph from agreeing to Potiphar’s wife enticement to sin. It was that commitment which kept Daniel praying, as he did before, in spite of the order to the contrary. It was such commitment that kept Jesus faithful to His ministry all the way to the cross in spite of the actions of His people at the time and in the future. It is such commitment we as husbands and wives are called to today, to be Holy to the Lord, and wholly our spouse’s.

Prayer: Loving Father, today we dedicate and consecrate to You anew. We want to be Holy to You and we want to be Wholly our spouse’s. Strengthen us daily that this commitment we make today remain firm forever.

Always Burning - January 28, 2009

2009-01-28T05:08:00.000-08:00

Title: Always Burning Topic: Marriage, Family

Scripture: (Exo 27:20-21 NKJV) "And you shall command the children of Israel that they bring you pure oil of pressed olives for the light, to cause the lamp to burn continually. {21} "In the tabernacle of meeting, outside the veil which is before the Testimony, Aaron and his sons shall tend it from evening until morning before the LORD. It shall be a statute forever to their generations on behalf of the children of Israel.

Observation: The Levites had the responsibility for the care and maintenance of the sanctuary, including the seven-branch lampstand which light was to be kept always burning. To that effect, the priest would go in and replenish the oil and the wicks and ensure that its fire would never go out. After the destruction of the temple, the Jewish people found some oil for the lamps and immediately got the light going again while at the same time preparing the special oil to continue the shining of its light and hoping the oil they had found would last until a new batch would be ready. According to their story, the fire lasted long enough, nine days; the celebration was great and indeed gave way to the beginning of the annual commemoration of that event through the festival of Hanukkah.

Application: It is important that in marriage and in the home the light always be burning. This light can take on different forms:
1. The light of God must be burning at home by having daily devotional time, Bible study and prayer.
2. The light of love must be burning daily by practicing its manifestations as explained by Paul in 1 Corinthians 13.
3. The light of kindness and patience must burn daily as we experience at times what others do to us, whether willingly or carelessly.
4. The light of romance must be burning daily as we look for ways to show our spouse through words and actions how much we love them and how much we care for them.
5. The light of forgiveness must burn daily to get rid of the darkness of resentment and hatred.
Let’s keep our light burning at home and in our relationship so others may see it and find hope for their own families.

Prayer: Father, help us to keep the light bright and burning that we, our families, our spouse, our children, may have a brighter life and that others may also be helped remove the darkness in their lives and the darkness in this world.

Family Religion - January 27, 2009

2009-01-27T05:07:00.001-08:00

Title: Family Religion Topic: Parenting, Children, Family

Scripture: (Exo 23:17 NKJV) "Three times in the year all your males shall appear before the Lord GOD.

Observation: Moses continues to write the instructions God has given him for the Israelites. In this section we find the regulations concerning the holy days that were to be observed annually. While the Sabbath was to be observed weekly and there were seven holy days, God established that at a minimum all males were to appear before the Lord three times each year. While the entire family participated in the celebrations and in observing those days, the males, as representatives of the home, were to come to the assembly to perform their duties as required by the law.

Application: The husband is still the priest of the household and it is his responsibility to see that the religious observances by the family be conducted on a daily, constant basis. The husband represent Christ to his family and us such he is to be loving and self-sacrificing. In those homes where there is no husband, the mother should assume the responsibility of living and sharing the faith with her children. At the same time, religious observance cannot simply be a personal matter but it must be part of family life and it must also be a public demonstration by attending the public services of the church. While we as Christians do not observe the Jewish holy days, the weekly Sabbath must still be part of our life and practice as a family and men should lead by example in the keeping of that day.

Prayer: Father, help us, men, to be the examples to our families that we need to be so that we all together may Know You, Love You, Serve You, and Share You.

Respect the Unmarried - January 26, 2009

2009-01-26T04:53:00.001-08:00

Title: Respect the Unmarried Topic: Single, Marriage

Scripture: (Exo 22:16-17 NKJV) "If a man entices a virgin who is not betrothed, and lies with her, he shall surely pay the bride-price for her to be his wife. {17} "If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money according to the bride-price of virgins.

Observation: This section begins a series of civil regulations for the newly freed Israelites as they begin to form their nation, under God. This section talks about the abuse of a virgin girl or simply taking advantage of the youth and naivete of a young girl to take sexual advantage of her. Perhaps Matthew Henry, in his commentary, explains it better, “Here is, I. A law that he who debauched a young woman should be obliged to marry her, v. 16, 17. If she was betrothed to another, it was death to debauch her (Deu. 22:23, 24); but the law here mentioned respects her as single. But, if the father refused her to him, he was to give satisfaction in money for the injury and disgrace he had done her. This law puts an honour upon marriage and shows likewise how improper a thing it is that children should marry without their parents’ consent: even here, where the divine law appointed the marriage, both as a punishment to him that had done wrong and a recompense to her that had suffered wrong, yet there was an express reservation for the father’s power; if he denied his consent, it must be no marriage.”

Application: While women didn’t seem to enjoy the equality with men that God designed, God did not want men to simply take advantage of the young and vulnerable. That’s the reason why there are so many regulations regarding the orphan and the widow, and in our text for today, a virgin girl. While girls could marry at an early age, they were to follow the regular customs regarding courtship, betrothal, engagement, and marriage, and men were not to simply take advantage of a young girl without having taken all the steps necessary to protect her and ensure her physical and financial protection. While today there is a minimum age at which a person, particularly a girl, can be married, we must also ensure that the young and vulnerable are not taken advantage of, particularly sexually. We should also be careful not to encourage early dating as the level of maturity of one or both can become a great disadvantage to a healthy relationship. This also teaches that young people must listen to their parents in these matters instead of going against their wishes and advice.

Prayer: Loving Father, thank You for Your care and concern for the young and vulnerable, and for reminding us that marriage and sex are to be cared for in a sacred manner.

Wise Advice - January 25, 2009

2009-01-25T07:11:00.001-08:00

Title: Wise Advice Topic: Father-in-law

Scripture: (Exodus 18:24 NKJV) So Moses heeded the voice of his father-in-law and did all that he had said.

Observation: Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, heard of the miraculous exit of Israel from Egypt, and came to meet them and to bring Moses his wife and children. While visiting Moses, Jethro noticed that his son-in-law would sit from sunrise to sunset listening to the people’s problems, providing guidance, and teaching them what God wanted them to know and do. Realizing that this approach would eventually wear out both Moses and the people, Jethro suggested a pan by which Moses would choose a number of people and delegate some of his responsibilities to them. This wise advice not only helped Moses and the Israelites, but has served as a pattern in many organizations, including the church so that all the burden and responsibility do not fall on the leaders shoulders alone but that it be shared with other capable leaders.

Application: This story is very meaningful to me. I was blessed to have a most wonderful, generous, kind man for my father-in-law, a true gentleman, a very loving father, husband, and grandfather, a very patient, honest, and fair individual. From the very beginning, he opened not only his home but his heart to me and welcomed me into the family as if I had always been part of it. I remember that shortly after he was diagnosed with brain cancer he had an attorney draw up his will. We were visiting that weekend and he and I were at home alone when he showed me the will and asked for my opinion. Here was a man, many years my senior, asking me if I thought the way he had distributed his estate and how he made provision for his wife to be taken care of was fair and just (which I indeed thought it was). He didn’t need my opinion, but that act showed me how wise, respectful, polite, and kind he was to include me in one of the most important decisions of his life. For that cat, and many others, I will remember him with great admiration and respect.
For some reason, mothers-in-law have always gotten a bad reputation and have been the recipients of many jokes and sarcastic remarks. I would imagine that just as there are some problematic mothers-in-law, there are many who are very good. My mother always spoke of her mother-in-law, my grandmother Cecilia, with the most positive, loving words of admiration and appreciation. Both my wife and I remember and speak of each other’s mom’s in the warmest of ways. While there are in-laws that may be more problematic than not, I wonder if more often than not the problem is with the son or daughter in law, maybe because of their immaturity, or maybe in their attempt to assert their independence and leadership in the home, that they feel threatened by the spouse’s parents and their attempts to be loving and helpful. It would be best if we can enjoy the love and wisdom of our parents and parents-in-law, and that we may maintain a warm relationship which will bless and benefit everyone involved.

Prayer: Father, thank you for our spouse’s family and for their contributions to our life, future, and well-being. May we all learn to maintain a positive attitude toward one another knowing that in Your family we all can benefit from each other’s knowledge, wisdom, and love.

Just What We Need - January 24, 2008

2009-01-24T05:39:00.000-08:00

Title: Just What We Need Topic: Sabbath, Family

Scripture: (Exodus 16:17-18 NKJV) Then the children of Israel did so and gathered, some more, some less. {18} So when they measured it by omers, he who gathered much had nothing left over, and he who gathered little had no lack. Every man had gathered according to each one's need.

Observation: After 430 years in Egyptian captivity, it seems like the Israelites had forgotten many things about God – many might have even been worshipping Egyptian gods. One of the reasons for this wilderness journey to the Promised Land was a process of retraining the Israelites, to bring them back to the worship of the only and true God. It’s interesting that one of the first things God taught them, or reminded them of, was the Sabbath. In Exodus 16 we find the way that God showed them about the weekly cycle, which culminates with the seventh-day Sabbath. But it was not simply to teach them about the weekly cycle but also that God takes care of our needs.

Application: From the very beginning, the week of creation, God was trying to teach that fact to Adam and Eve when He created them on the sixth day of that first week, and their first full day of life was the Sabbath. They hadn’t yet done any work, and yet God had provided for all their needs and simply invited them to rest.
This morning, as I write these words, it is Sabbath. Outside, it is -15◦F here in Maple Grove, near the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul, with a wind chill of somewhere between -25 to -30. And yet, inside our home is warm, we have plenty of food for several days, we have our cars in the garage, ready to take us wherever we may need to go, we have books to read, clothes to wear, and much, much more. On this Sabbath, like on every other Sabbath, God is taking care of our needs and we’re enjoying the physical, emotional, and spiritual rest we so much need and desire.
It is also interesting that on the Sabbath the people were not to go out and gather Manna, which would not be there anyway, but were to stay together, as families, and simply enjoy the day and God’s blessings. The Sabbath is not just a day to do nothing, but a day to enjoy God’s blessings with our families – whether at home or with our church family, a day to remember that He takes care of all our needs, and a day to be refreshed, rejuvenated, recreated both individually and as a family. May this be a blessed Sabbath day for you.

Prayer: Father, thank You for the blessings of the Sabbath. May today, the Sabbath, be a glorious one for each of us, and may our families receive the greatest blessings on this day as we come to You and as You bring us closer to one another.

What God Did for Me - January 23, 2009

2009-01-23T05:31:00.001-08:00

Title: What God Did for Me Topic: Salvation, Parenting, Children

Scripture: (Exodus 13:8 NKJV) "And you shall tell your son in that day, saying, 'This is done because of what the LORD did for me when I came up from Egypt.'

Observation: God had delivered the Israelites from their life of slavery in Egypt after a long struggle with Pharaoh. The annual Passover service was established not just as a celebration of their deliverance but as a teaching tool for future generations, particularly for children. Every year, as the family gathers around the Passover table and the children as, “What is this?”, the parents respond in two ways: 1. The Lord delivered me from slavery (13:8). 2. The Lord deliver us from slavery (13:14-16).

Application: The point of the annual Passover celebration/commemoration is to teach the children about God’s marvelous deliverance power and to remind them that they were slaves, but God gave them freedom. Children are taught through songs, through the food items, through the games played, and through the questions asked that God displayed His power on their behalf. The questions reflect something that is very special not just for Israelites delivered from slavery but to all of us who have suffered under the slavery of sin from our birth. To the first question the answer is – The Lord delivered me. This reflects the fact that salvation is first of all a personal matter – God delivered me from sin. The second answer reflects what God has done for us as a people – God delivered us all.
While most of us do not have Jewish heritage and therefore don’t celebrate Passover, the communion service gives us the same opportunity to explain to our children what Jesus has done for us. As we consider the foot washing part of the service, we can explain to our children that Jesus gave us an example of humility and service. We can explain to them what the bread and the grape juice represent, and most importantly, what the sacrifice of Jesus accomplished for each of us as individuals and what it assured for us as a people – eternal life on the earth made new.

Prayer: Father, thank You for delivering me from the bondage of sin, and thank You for guaranteeing for us, through the death of Your Lamb, eternal life with You.

Total Family Dedication - January 22, 2009

2009-01-22T04:13:00.000-08:00

Title: Total Family Dedication Topic: Family

Scripture: Exodus 10:9 - 11 (NKJV) And Moses said, “We will go with our young and our old; with our sons and our daughters, with our flocks and our herds we will go, for we must hold a feast to the Lord.” 10Then he said to them, “The Lord had better be with you when I let you and your little ones go! Beware, for evil is ahead of you. 11Not so! Go now, you who are men, and serve the Lord, for that is what you desired.” And they were driven out from Pharaoh’s presence.

Observation: Time and time again, Pharaoh refuses to allow the Israelites to leave Egypt;; it’s obvious he suspected they were going to leave for good and he would not risk losing his work force. At first he told them they could hold their worship service in the land. Then he told them they could go in the wilderness, but not very far. Finally he agreed to let the men go, but not the women or the children. It is clear that Pharaoh never really intended to allow the Israelites to leave Egypt and stubbornly tested God. After each plague, the conviction of God’s mighty power should have been made clear and thus he should have been willing to submit to His command; instead, he hardened his heart and refused to allow them to leave.

Application: When it comes to the worship of God, it is not enough for the men to do so without the participation of their wives and children. The worship of God should be part of family life. My wife found statistics that point out that children drop out of the church a lot faster and in greater numbers when they attend church by themselves, or when they attend church with only their mom or dad. But when children attend church with both their parents, they tend to remain members of the church longer, many for a lifetime. Men are the priests of their household and as such they should lead in the worship of the Lord both at home and at church. This worship experience cannot and should not be a personal, private experience only, but a family experience as well.

Prayer: Loving Father, thank You for the opportunity You give us to be Your children and that together as a family we can worship You. Help us to set aside daily times for private and family worship and dedicate ourselves and our families to Your service for others.