Scripture: And he walked in the way of the kings of Israel, just as the house of Ahab had done, for the daughter of Ahab was his wife; and he did evil in the sight of the LORD. (2 Ki 8:18 NKJV)
Observation: Jehoram was the king of Judah and he had married the daughter of King Ahab. Evidently his influence had affected his daughter and as she married Jehoram it also affected him so that he did evil in the sight of the Lord. Unfortunately Jehoram’s godly father had less of an influence on him than his ungodly wife did. The daughter of Ahab, whom Jehoram married as part of Jehoshaphat’s treaty with Ahab, was Athaliah, through whose influence Jehoram introduced the worship of Baal and many other evils into the kingdom of Judah (see 2Ch 21:2–20).
Application: As I work with couples preparing for marriage, I recommend, among many other things, that you Take Your Time.
While preparing for marriage, make sure you have spent enough time in preparation. As Shakespeare wrote in King Henry, “A hasty marriage seldom proveth well.” It takes time to know another person well enough to decide to spend your life with them. Proverbs 21:5 says it well, “The plans of the diligent and informed will lead to abundance, but every one who is hasty will only come to want and ruin.” A wedding is a one-day event, but a marriage is a lifetime commitment. Take the time necessary to learn everything you can about the person with whom you plan to spend a lifetime.
As a couple, they should focus on two key areas when taking their time to get to know one another.
1. Get to Know the Other Person’s Family.
Perhaps you have made the mistake of thinking the other person’s extended family doesn’t matter. The fact is we don’t marry one person; we marry, or join ourselves to, the entire family.
You must meet the potential in-laws and other family members and spend time getting to know them. Observe how they interact with each other. An old adage fits very well here: An apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. This family reared your potential mate, so you need to know who they are and what they believe. Only time can provide answers to the following questions, which you must answer.
• Do you know for certain his/her family’s values or habits?
• Is there a spiritual focus of the family? If so, what is it?
• What do they enjoy doing? What are their hobbies and interests?
• How do they handle conflict? How is conflict resolved?
• What is the financial philosophy of the family? Is money important? Is it too important? Did the parents train him/her to be financially responsible?
• How would they react should you choose to marry their son/daughter?
• What kind of in-laws would they be? Uninvolved? Obtrusive? Supportive?
• What was the parenting style of his/her parents? Strict? Flexible? Were they too permissive as parents?
• What kind of influence would they have on your children?
2. Get to Know as Much as Possible about him/her.
It will take time to see how the person with whom you are considering marriage handles conflict, jealousy, or failure. Ask any married couple and they will tell you that even when you think you know your spouse there are still many surprises after you are married.
Ideally it’s beneficial to see a potential marriage partner in every kind of situation before marriage. To do that will take some time, but its time well invested. You must observe how he/she reacts in anger, under stressful situations, and in difficult times. It’s wise and necessary preparation for a successful marriage to learn about the other person’s needs, likes, dislikes,
quirks, habits, particular weaknesses, and strengths.
When is the person not right for marriage? We have included some relational warning signs. Some of these characteristics are only revealed over time.
• Is often caught lying.
• Tends to blame others for everything.
• Is cruel to the innocent and weak. This person may be racist.
• Is controlling. Checks up to see where you go, who you are with, etc. Interrogates you if you’re late or not home. Insists you get permission from him/her before you go anywhere, etc. Handles all the money.
• Attempts to isolate you from your family or friends. Doesn’t want you meeting other people – says he/she is protecting you from people who are not good for you.
• Is extremely jealous. Shows up unexpectedly, checks your phone, even your car mileage. Gets angry if you spend time with anyone other than him/her.
• Quickly says he/she loves you and pushes for serious involvement. Immediately wants an exclusive commitment from you.
• Becomes moody and hypersensitive. Is easily offended. You find yourself constantly apologizing for hurting her/his feelings.
• Verbally berates or attacks you, curses often, is critical, hurtful, or degrading.
• Pressures you for sex. Tries to make up with sex.
• Is repentant but blames for you for his/her actions
• Has pushed, shoved, slapped, or become otherwise physically violent with you.
If any of these characteristics are apparent run, and run fast! The person is not marriage material.
Prayer: Father, as people prepare for their marriage, may they take the time to prepare for this lifetime commitment and may the have their eyes wide open to any concerns they may have about each other and each other’s family. And if it is indeed in your will that they be joined in holy wedlock, may theirs be a life lasting and fulfilling experience.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Spiritual CPR
Scripture: He returned and walked back and forth in the house, and again went up and stretched himself out on him; then the child sneezed seven times, and the child opened his eyes. (2 Ki 4:35 NKJV)
Observation: A prominent woman of Shunem had cared for Elisha and had her husband build him a room in their house where he could rest when he was passing by. In response to her kindness, Elisha asked God to bless her with a child. When the child was still young, he suddenly got sick and died in his mother’s arms. She went to find Elisha hoping for a miracle. Elisha came, prayed, laid on the child, and finally the child came back to life. This seems like a strange ritual to perform; here are some possible ideas as to why Elisha did what he did. Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary explains:
(1.) How closely the prophet applied himself to this great operation, perhaps being sensible that he had tempted God too much in thinking to effect it by the staff in Gehazi’s hand, for which he thought himself rebuked by the disappointment. He now found it a harder task than he then thought, and therefore addressed himself to it with great solemnity. [1.] He prayed unto the Lord (v. 33), probably as Elijah had done, Let this child’s soul come into him again. Christ raised the dead to life as one having authority—Damsel, arise—young man, I say unto thee, Arise—Lazarus, come forth (for he was powerful and faithful as a Son, the Lord of life), but Elijah and Elisha did it by petition, as servants. [2.] He lay upon the child (v. 34), as if he would communicate to him some of his vital heat or spirits. Thus he expressed the earnestness of his desire, and gave a sign of that divine power which he depended upon for the accomplishment of this great work. He first put his mouth to the child’s mouth, as if, in God’s name, he would breathe into him the breath of life; then his eyes to the child’s eyes, to open them again to the light of life; then his hands to the child’s hands, to put strength into them. He then returned, and walked in the house, as one full of care and concern, and wholly intent upon what he was about. Then he went up stairs again, and the second time, stretched himself upon the child, v. 35. Those that would be instrumental in conveying spiritual life to dead souls must thus affect themselves with their case, and accommodate themselves to it, and labour fervently in prayer for them.
(2.) How gradually the operation was performed. At the first application, the flesh of the child waxed warm (v. 34), which gave the prophet encouragement to continue instant in prayer. After a while, the child sneezed seven times, which was an indication, not only of life, but liveliness. Some have reported it as an ancient tradition that when God breathed into Adam the breath of life the first evidence of his being alive was sneezing, which gave rise to the usage of paying respect to those that sneeze. Some observe here that sneezing clears the head, and there lay the child’s distemper.
Application: This mother did all in her power for her child, and then left the results to God Himself. It may not be the same with every parent, after all, many children die and don’t come to life right away, when their parents would want them back. The promise of the resurrection reminds us that one day, when Jesus returns, parents will be reunited with their children in the most joyful family reunion ever. I have always loved these words which describe the resurrection morning: “The living righteous are changed ‘in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye.’ At the voice of God they were glorified; now they are made immortal and with the risen saints are caught up to meet their Lord in the air. Angels ‘gather together His elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.’ Little children are borne by holy angels to their mothers' arms. Friends long separated by death are united, nevermore to part, and with songs of gladness ascend together to the City of God. {Ellen White, The Great Controversy, p.645} [emphasis mine].
So while we may not have a prophet today who has the power to bring our children back to life, we do have this scene in which we will be reunited with our children who have died before us. May we never have to go through the pain and separation that death brings about, but if we do, may we hold on to this scene and its promise – eternity with our children with no more death ever!
Prayer: Father, while the pain caused by the death of a child is so overwhelming, it is the promise of the resurrection which can make it bearable. I pray Father for that day to come soon and that we all may enjoy that awesome family reunion with our loved ones.
Observation: A prominent woman of Shunem had cared for Elisha and had her husband build him a room in their house where he could rest when he was passing by. In response to her kindness, Elisha asked God to bless her with a child. When the child was still young, he suddenly got sick and died in his mother’s arms. She went to find Elisha hoping for a miracle. Elisha came, prayed, laid on the child, and finally the child came back to life. This seems like a strange ritual to perform; here are some possible ideas as to why Elisha did what he did. Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary explains:
(1.) How closely the prophet applied himself to this great operation, perhaps being sensible that he had tempted God too much in thinking to effect it by the staff in Gehazi’s hand, for which he thought himself rebuked by the disappointment. He now found it a harder task than he then thought, and therefore addressed himself to it with great solemnity. [1.] He prayed unto the Lord (v. 33), probably as Elijah had done, Let this child’s soul come into him again. Christ raised the dead to life as one having authority—Damsel, arise—young man, I say unto thee, Arise—Lazarus, come forth (for he was powerful and faithful as a Son, the Lord of life), but Elijah and Elisha did it by petition, as servants. [2.] He lay upon the child (v. 34), as if he would communicate to him some of his vital heat or spirits. Thus he expressed the earnestness of his desire, and gave a sign of that divine power which he depended upon for the accomplishment of this great work. He first put his mouth to the child’s mouth, as if, in God’s name, he would breathe into him the breath of life; then his eyes to the child’s eyes, to open them again to the light of life; then his hands to the child’s hands, to put strength into them. He then returned, and walked in the house, as one full of care and concern, and wholly intent upon what he was about. Then he went up stairs again, and the second time, stretched himself upon the child, v. 35. Those that would be instrumental in conveying spiritual life to dead souls must thus affect themselves with their case, and accommodate themselves to it, and labour fervently in prayer for them.
(2.) How gradually the operation was performed. At the first application, the flesh of the child waxed warm (v. 34), which gave the prophet encouragement to continue instant in prayer. After a while, the child sneezed seven times, which was an indication, not only of life, but liveliness. Some have reported it as an ancient tradition that when God breathed into Adam the breath of life the first evidence of his being alive was sneezing, which gave rise to the usage of paying respect to those that sneeze. Some observe here that sneezing clears the head, and there lay the child’s distemper.
Application: This mother did all in her power for her child, and then left the results to God Himself. It may not be the same with every parent, after all, many children die and don’t come to life right away, when their parents would want them back. The promise of the resurrection reminds us that one day, when Jesus returns, parents will be reunited with their children in the most joyful family reunion ever. I have always loved these words which describe the resurrection morning: “The living righteous are changed ‘in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye.’ At the voice of God they were glorified; now they are made immortal and with the risen saints are caught up to meet their Lord in the air. Angels ‘gather together His elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.’ Little children are borne by holy angels to their mothers' arms. Friends long separated by death are united, nevermore to part, and with songs of gladness ascend together to the City of God. {Ellen White, The Great Controversy, p.645} [emphasis mine].
So while we may not have a prophet today who has the power to bring our children back to life, we do have this scene in which we will be reunited with our children who have died before us. May we never have to go through the pain and separation that death brings about, but if we do, may we hold on to this scene and its promise – eternity with our children with no more death ever!
Prayer: Father, while the pain caused by the death of a child is so overwhelming, it is the promise of the resurrection which can make it bearable. I pray Father for that day to come soon and that we all may enjoy that awesome family reunion with our loved ones.
Friday, April 24, 2009
The Pouting Adult and the Enabler
Scripture: So Ahab went into his house sullen and displeased because of the word which Naboth the Jezreelite had spoken to him; for he had said, "I will not give you the inheritance of my fathers." And he lay down on his bed, and turned away his face, and would eat no food. 5But Jezebel his wife came to him, and said to him, "Why is your spirit so sullen that you eat no food?" 6He said to her, "Because I spoke to Naboth the Jezreelite, and said to him, 'Give me your vineyard for money; or else, if it pleases you, I will give you another vineyard for it.' And he answered, 'I will not give you my vineyard.'" 7Then Jezebel his wife said to him, "You now exercise authority over Israel! Arise, eat food, and let your heart be cheerful; I will give you the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite."
Observation: Ahab, the King of Samaria, wanted to have the vineyard which was next to his palace and which belonged to a man named Naboth. But Naboth wanted to keep it because it had belonged to his family and wanted it to remain so. Ahab was very upset and went into his room, got in bed, and would not eat.
When Jezebel, Ahab’s wife, asked him for his behavior, and Ahab told her, she told him to eat and be happy because she would get him Naboth’s vineyard. She then wrote letters on Ahab’s behalf to have Naboth falsely accused of cursing God and the king, for which he was stoned. She then presented Naboth’s vineyard to Ahab.
Application: If it were not so tragic, this story is almost comical. An adult, Ahab, pouting like a child because he couldn’t have someone else’s toy, or vineyard. We can almost imagine Ahab sulking, furrowed brow, hungry but refusing to eat, maybe even crying – the normal reactions of a child who’s not getting his way, but certainly not the reactions of a mature adult.
On the other hand we have Jezebel, an evil, wicked woman, but also an enabler of her husbands immaturity, selfishness, and childish behavior. It was convenient for her, however, to keep him that way because then she could control him in other ways, like by furthering the worship of Baal in Israel unopposed by her husband.
Sometime ago I heard of a guest psychologist that Oprah had on her show – the topic was on marital relationships – in which this doctor said something to the effect that women who treat their husbands like children eventually stop finding them undesirable because a woman wants a man and not a child as their husband. There are women who seem to enjoy being in charge at home and being the ones to tell their husbands what to do, and when, and how. They treat them as a mother would treat a young child. In more ways than one they are emasculated by not being allowed to “wear the pants” in the family. But these very women, eventually don’t find their man sexually attractive and don’t realize that they’re the ones who have turned them into less than a man.
If a man is to grow up, so he doesn’t pout like a child when confronted with challenges and difficulties, he needs a supportive spouse, not one who will enable his moodiness. God designed woman to be a help-meet, not above nor below man. The best help a woman can give her husband is to believe in him, encourage him, and express appreciation and admiration for him.
Prayer: Father, may we be true help-meets to our spouse so that they will grow and mature as they help us grow and mature.
Observation: Ahab, the King of Samaria, wanted to have the vineyard which was next to his palace and which belonged to a man named Naboth. But Naboth wanted to keep it because it had belonged to his family and wanted it to remain so. Ahab was very upset and went into his room, got in bed, and would not eat.
When Jezebel, Ahab’s wife, asked him for his behavior, and Ahab told her, she told him to eat and be happy because she would get him Naboth’s vineyard. She then wrote letters on Ahab’s behalf to have Naboth falsely accused of cursing God and the king, for which he was stoned. She then presented Naboth’s vineyard to Ahab.
Application: If it were not so tragic, this story is almost comical. An adult, Ahab, pouting like a child because he couldn’t have someone else’s toy, or vineyard. We can almost imagine Ahab sulking, furrowed brow, hungry but refusing to eat, maybe even crying – the normal reactions of a child who’s not getting his way, but certainly not the reactions of a mature adult.
On the other hand we have Jezebel, an evil, wicked woman, but also an enabler of her husbands immaturity, selfishness, and childish behavior. It was convenient for her, however, to keep him that way because then she could control him in other ways, like by furthering the worship of Baal in Israel unopposed by her husband.
Sometime ago I heard of a guest psychologist that Oprah had on her show – the topic was on marital relationships – in which this doctor said something to the effect that women who treat their husbands like children eventually stop finding them undesirable because a woman wants a man and not a child as their husband. There are women who seem to enjoy being in charge at home and being the ones to tell their husbands what to do, and when, and how. They treat them as a mother would treat a young child. In more ways than one they are emasculated by not being allowed to “wear the pants” in the family. But these very women, eventually don’t find their man sexually attractive and don’t realize that they’re the ones who have turned them into less than a man.
If a man is to grow up, so he doesn’t pout like a child when confronted with challenges and difficulties, he needs a supportive spouse, not one who will enable his moodiness. God designed woman to be a help-meet, not above nor below man. The best help a woman can give her husband is to believe in him, encourage him, and express appreciation and admiration for him.
Prayer: Father, may we be true help-meets to our spouse so that they will grow and mature as they help us grow and mature.
Monday, April 20, 2009
A Powerful Relationship
Scripture: “You shall not intermarry with them, nor they with you. Surely they will turn away your hearts after their gods." Solomon clung to these in love. (1 Ki 11:2 NKJV)
Observation: Solomon, as wise as he was, married hundreds of women, many of who were from the people God had forbidden Israel to have any relationship with. It was these women who led him to commit idolatry, the sin for which Solomon’s children lost the kingdom God had give to David.
Application: As we read of the lives of David and Solomon, both had several things in common: Both were chosen to be kings of Israel, both were prophets, both were inspired, both did many good things for God and for his people, both had multiple wives. But where they were different was that David remained loyal to God while Solomon worshiped the idols that his wives brought with them from their own countries. Without going too deep into the implications, I think we can safely draw a few conclusions:
1. God knows the danger of entering into a marital relationship with someone of a different faith and forbids it. While many Adventists have led their spouses to God and to the church, the number of Adventists who have left the church because of their spouses is alarming. Marriage is such a powerful emotional relationship that some people may be driven away from God by their spouse. From the very beginning we observe the power of this relationship when Eve led Adam to sin by eating of the forbidden fruit. Adam could not see himself with Eve and chose to die with her rather tha live without her not trusting that God would do what’s best for him.
2. Adultery must not be the worst of all sins. While we would not condone adultery at any time, at the same time we should not make it the worse of all sins and shun people who commit adultery. In David’s case, not only did he commit adultery but tried to cover it with murder, and yet God said of David that he was a man after His own heart. Solomon had multiple wives, and yet God blessed him with great wisdom.
3. What God DOES take great offense at is idolatry – turning away from Him to worship other gods.
Again, we do not wish to excuse adultery in any way, shape, or form. We do discourage marrying someone of a different faith. We must never turn from God to worship idols, whatever and whoever they may be.
Prayer: Father, may we always worship You and never idols, may we always be faithful to You and to our spouse, and may Your love always cover us.
Observation: Solomon, as wise as he was, married hundreds of women, many of who were from the people God had forbidden Israel to have any relationship with. It was these women who led him to commit idolatry, the sin for which Solomon’s children lost the kingdom God had give to David.
Application: As we read of the lives of David and Solomon, both had several things in common: Both were chosen to be kings of Israel, both were prophets, both were inspired, both did many good things for God and for his people, both had multiple wives. But where they were different was that David remained loyal to God while Solomon worshiped the idols that his wives brought with them from their own countries. Without going too deep into the implications, I think we can safely draw a few conclusions:
1. God knows the danger of entering into a marital relationship with someone of a different faith and forbids it. While many Adventists have led their spouses to God and to the church, the number of Adventists who have left the church because of their spouses is alarming. Marriage is such a powerful emotional relationship that some people may be driven away from God by their spouse. From the very beginning we observe the power of this relationship when Eve led Adam to sin by eating of the forbidden fruit. Adam could not see himself with Eve and chose to die with her rather tha live without her not trusting that God would do what’s best for him.
2. Adultery must not be the worst of all sins. While we would not condone adultery at any time, at the same time we should not make it the worse of all sins and shun people who commit adultery. In David’s case, not only did he commit adultery but tried to cover it with murder, and yet God said of David that he was a man after His own heart. Solomon had multiple wives, and yet God blessed him with great wisdom.
3. What God DOES take great offense at is idolatry – turning away from Him to worship other gods.
Again, we do not wish to excuse adultery in any way, shape, or form. We do discourage marrying someone of a different faith. We must never turn from God to worship idols, whatever and whoever they may be.
Prayer: Father, may we always worship You and never idols, may we always be faithful to You and to our spouse, and may Your love always cover us.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Honor Your Mother
Scripture: Bathsheba therefore went to King Solomon, to speak to him for Adonijah. And the king rose up to meet her and bowed down to her, and sat down on his throne and had a throne set for the king's mother; so she sat at his right hand. (1 Ki 2:19 NKJV)
Observation: Bathsheba, Solomon’s mother, came before the king to speak on behalf of his half-brother Adonijah. With the respect she deserved, Solomon rose from his throne and not only honored her by having a throne for her, but before all the people watching, the king bowed to the ground before her.
Application: There’s an age, the early teens or even pre-teens, when some children, boys in particular, seem uncomfortable being seen with their parents for fear that their friends may make fun of them. It’s not that boys are embarrassed of their mom, it’s just that they don’t want to be called “momma’s boy” by their peers.
I guess I skipped that stage, had friends who didn’t make fun of me, or simply didn’t care, but for me it was a matter of joy and pride to be seen or to be with my parents and live with no regrets because I loved and cared for my mother for the last seven years of her life while she lived with us. This respect is not only one of God’s commandments, it is their due for the love, care, and sacrifices on our behalf.
Prayer: Father, thank You for our loving parents and for the opportunity You give us to show them our love and respect. May we take advantage of the opportunities You give us to take good, loving care of them.
Observation: Bathsheba, Solomon’s mother, came before the king to speak on behalf of his half-brother Adonijah. With the respect she deserved, Solomon rose from his throne and not only honored her by having a throne for her, but before all the people watching, the king bowed to the ground before her.
Application: There’s an age, the early teens or even pre-teens, when some children, boys in particular, seem uncomfortable being seen with their parents for fear that their friends may make fun of them. It’s not that boys are embarrassed of their mom, it’s just that they don’t want to be called “momma’s boy” by their peers.
I guess I skipped that stage, had friends who didn’t make fun of me, or simply didn’t care, but for me it was a matter of joy and pride to be seen or to be with my parents and live with no regrets because I loved and cared for my mother for the last seven years of her life while she lived with us. This respect is not only one of God’s commandments, it is their due for the love, care, and sacrifices on our behalf.
Prayer: Father, thank You for our loving parents and for the opportunity You give us to show them our love and respect. May we take advantage of the opportunities You give us to take good, loving care of them.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Mom's Love
Scripture: Then she said to him, "My lord, you swore by the LORD your God to your maidservant, saying, 'Assuredly Solomon your son shall reign after me, and he shall sit on my throne.' (1 Ki 1:17 NKJV)
Observation: Absalom’s brother, Adonijah, decided to make himself king of Israel since his father David was old and getting closer to his death. Bathsheba, mother of Solomon, asked David to fulfill his promise to her to elevate Solomon to the throne which is indeed what David did, not just to respond to her request but also following God’s plan and will for David and his family.
Application: Second only to the love God has for us is the love that mothers have for their children. In fact, that love is so special that God uses it as illustrations of his love for us in various places in the Scriptures.
Among the Jewish people, the love of mothers for their children is legendary and is credited for the great success of so many of them. They joke about the mothers who while holding their babies in arms or when they’re still small children they introduce them as, “this my Aaron, the doctor,” or “this is my David, the lawyer,” and when they leave for school they make sure their children have their books while other mothers may be more concerned as to whether their children have their lunch or are properly clothed to go outside. In the gospels, John and James’ mother asked Jesus for a special place for her sons, next to Jesus. As upset as the other disciples were, we sometimes are annoyed with mothers who are too proud of their children and would like for the rest of us to admire their children. If they wish to be proud of their kids they have ever right to do so, but not try to force them on us.
As a father who loves his daughters dearly, it may sound “unfair” that the love of fathers is not shown as prominently as that of mothers. But the reality is that carrying a child inside for the months of pregnancy makes those children much more a part of them than they are of the fathers. But it doesn’t mean we as fathers cannot develop a strong bond with our children. I am blessed to have a very close, strong relationship with my daughters and we enjoy spending time together. But I also recognize that there are many things where they and their mother have a stronger bond – like shopping, or talking about clothes. Some time ago I heard that James Dobson, the famous Christian psychologist, claims that the most strained relationship today is that between men and their sons. Since I don’t have sons I don’t know why that may be, but we as parents should still try to maintain and nourish close, strong bonds with our children.
Prayer: Father, thank you for our children and for the good relationship we enjoy with them. May those bonds be strengthened each day. And bless us, when our relationships are strained, and bring healing to them.
Observation: Absalom’s brother, Adonijah, decided to make himself king of Israel since his father David was old and getting closer to his death. Bathsheba, mother of Solomon, asked David to fulfill his promise to her to elevate Solomon to the throne which is indeed what David did, not just to respond to her request but also following God’s plan and will for David and his family.
Application: Second only to the love God has for us is the love that mothers have for their children. In fact, that love is so special that God uses it as illustrations of his love for us in various places in the Scriptures.
Among the Jewish people, the love of mothers for their children is legendary and is credited for the great success of so many of them. They joke about the mothers who while holding their babies in arms or when they’re still small children they introduce them as, “this my Aaron, the doctor,” or “this is my David, the lawyer,” and when they leave for school they make sure their children have their books while other mothers may be more concerned as to whether their children have their lunch or are properly clothed to go outside. In the gospels, John and James’ mother asked Jesus for a special place for her sons, next to Jesus. As upset as the other disciples were, we sometimes are annoyed with mothers who are too proud of their children and would like for the rest of us to admire their children. If they wish to be proud of their kids they have ever right to do so, but not try to force them on us.
As a father who loves his daughters dearly, it may sound “unfair” that the love of fathers is not shown as prominently as that of mothers. But the reality is that carrying a child inside for the months of pregnancy makes those children much more a part of them than they are of the fathers. But it doesn’t mean we as fathers cannot develop a strong bond with our children. I am blessed to have a very close, strong relationship with my daughters and we enjoy spending time together. But I also recognize that there are many things where they and their mother have a stronger bond – like shopping, or talking about clothes. Some time ago I heard that James Dobson, the famous Christian psychologist, claims that the most strained relationship today is that between men and their sons. Since I don’t have sons I don’t know why that may be, but we as parents should still try to maintain and nourish close, strong bonds with our children.
Prayer: Father, thank you for our children and for the good relationship we enjoy with them. May those bonds be strengthened each day. And bless us, when our relationships are strained, and bring healing to them.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
The Most Painful Death
Scripture: Then the king was deeply moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept. And as he went, he said thus: "O my son Absalom; my son, my son Absalom; if only I had died in your place! O Absalom my son, my son!" (2 Sam 18:33 NKJV)
Observation: Absalom had show his rebellious spirit when he killed his brother Amnon, albeit to avenge the rape of his sister at the hands of Amnon, and by sitting at the gate of the city in judgment as if he were the king. That spirit of rebellion ripened into a coup d’état against his own father, King David. But for Absalom it was not enough that he had routed his father, he wanted to destroy him completely, so he pursued him as David fled. Among the things for which Absalom was known was a head full of long, thick hair. While pursuing David, Absalom ran under the thick boughs of a terebinth tree, his hair got caught in them and he was left hanging in mid air exposed to the enemy. Joab, David’s general, came and killed him there.
Joab sent news to David of Absalom’s death, and today’s text tell us of his reaction to the news. And while Israel could have been celebrating the victory and the fact David could now return to Jerusalem, they all felt awkward by seeing the king mourning. Joab chastised the king for not affirming the troops which protected him and who won this victory over those who were pursuing him.
Application: I have been told by those going through it that there is no more painful death than the death of a son or daughter, regardless of their age. I remember being at the hospital with the mother of a stillborn child and a few months later in another room nearby with the parents of a three-year-old. As a police chaplain I had to give a family the news of the tragic death on a motorcycle of their seventeen-year-old son and have officiated at the funeral of a forty-five year-old daughter who died of cancer. During times like these and many others like them, the parents have told me again and again how that the death of their parents or a sibling or a dear friend was painful but their pain at losing a child was so much worse, almost unbearable. Even if their son or daughter had left the fold, like Absalom, their death was nonetheless sad for their parents.
It seems like the right order of events should always be that as you get older and your parents age by the time they die you are old enough to accept it as a natural part of life. I lost my dad when I was fifteen years old and my mom when I was 42 years old, and their deaths affected me in different ways. At any rate, it is expected that at some point in time your parents will pass on. But your child will always be younger than you and thus you don’t expect to have them die before you; it is not the normal way of life. For Adam and Eve, the murder of their son Abel, particularly at the hand of his brother Cain, must have been horrible. For David the death of his first son with bathsheba and not of Absalom was most painful. For God the death of His Son Jesus must have been most difficult. And yet, he experiences the death of so many of His children every single day! That’s why during the difficult, painful days following the death of a child we can find comfort in Him who truly knows what it is like to loose a child. And with God, it’s not just the He understands, but somehow He also brings the healing we need.
Prayer: Father, I pray none of us ever experience the death of one of our children; bless them and protect them. For those who have, bless them and comfort them, and may Your comforting, loving arms surround them during their time of mourning until healing comes.
Observation: Absalom had show his rebellious spirit when he killed his brother Amnon, albeit to avenge the rape of his sister at the hands of Amnon, and by sitting at the gate of the city in judgment as if he were the king. That spirit of rebellion ripened into a coup d’état against his own father, King David. But for Absalom it was not enough that he had routed his father, he wanted to destroy him completely, so he pursued him as David fled. Among the things for which Absalom was known was a head full of long, thick hair. While pursuing David, Absalom ran under the thick boughs of a terebinth tree, his hair got caught in them and he was left hanging in mid air exposed to the enemy. Joab, David’s general, came and killed him there.
Joab sent news to David of Absalom’s death, and today’s text tell us of his reaction to the news. And while Israel could have been celebrating the victory and the fact David could now return to Jerusalem, they all felt awkward by seeing the king mourning. Joab chastised the king for not affirming the troops which protected him and who won this victory over those who were pursuing him.
Application: I have been told by those going through it that there is no more painful death than the death of a son or daughter, regardless of their age. I remember being at the hospital with the mother of a stillborn child and a few months later in another room nearby with the parents of a three-year-old. As a police chaplain I had to give a family the news of the tragic death on a motorcycle of their seventeen-year-old son and have officiated at the funeral of a forty-five year-old daughter who died of cancer. During times like these and many others like them, the parents have told me again and again how that the death of their parents or a sibling or a dear friend was painful but their pain at losing a child was so much worse, almost unbearable. Even if their son or daughter had left the fold, like Absalom, their death was nonetheless sad for their parents.
It seems like the right order of events should always be that as you get older and your parents age by the time they die you are old enough to accept it as a natural part of life. I lost my dad when I was fifteen years old and my mom when I was 42 years old, and their deaths affected me in different ways. At any rate, it is expected that at some point in time your parents will pass on. But your child will always be younger than you and thus you don’t expect to have them die before you; it is not the normal way of life. For Adam and Eve, the murder of their son Abel, particularly at the hand of his brother Cain, must have been horrible. For David the death of his first son with bathsheba and not of Absalom was most painful. For God the death of His Son Jesus must have been most difficult. And yet, he experiences the death of so many of His children every single day! That’s why during the difficult, painful days following the death of a child we can find comfort in Him who truly knows what it is like to loose a child. And with God, it’s not just the He understands, but somehow He also brings the healing we need.
Prayer: Father, I pray none of us ever experience the death of one of our children; bless them and protect them. For those who have, bless them and comfort them, and may Your comforting, loving arms surround them during their time of mourning until healing comes.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Reversal of Feelings - April 10, 2009
Scripture: (2 Sam 13:15 NKJV) Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, "Arise, be gone!"
Observation: Amnon, son of David, fell in love with his step-sister Tamar and plotted to have her come to his house under the pretense of being sick. While there, he forced her, maybe even raped her, but having accomplished his evil plot he despised her and rejected her altogether.
Application: I wish more single young people, teens and single young adults, would read this story and learn that it follows the pattern or most pre-marital relationships. I think this is particularly important for young ladies who surrender their virginity early with the desire to show their boyfriend their love, for fear they will loose them if they reject their advances, or in the hope they will keep them even while he pulls away from them. Those who believe in evolution would say that man is the hunter and when they have caught their prey they loose interest in them. Those of us who believe in God believe that once a woman has surrendered what is most sacred to her, men loose respect for them, and therefore they have no more interest in them. While young man think that having premarital sex will bring them closer together, more often than not it becomes an insurmountable barrier.
Several years ago there was an article in Time magazine about the report by the National Marriage Project, out of Rutgers University in New Jersey, which says that, “Cohabitating couples are more likely to experience a host of domestic problems — including, if they finally get marriage, divorce.
Last year in the U.S., more than 4 million unmarried heterosexual couples shacked up, in contrast to only half a million at the end of the supposedly free-spirited ‘60's. Though living together has become conventional, the report cites studies showing that these unions, in comparison to marriages, tend to have more episodes of domestic violence to women and physical and sexual abuse of children. It notes that annual rates of depression among unmarried couples are more than three times those of married couples.
The report contends that cohabitation reduces the likelihood of later wedded bliss. It quotes a 1992 study of 3,300 adults showing that those who had lived with a partner were 46% (it is now known to be 80%) more likely to divorce than those who had not. ‘The longer you cohabit, the more tolerant you are of divorce,’ says David Popenoe, the sociologist who co-wrote the study. ‘You are used to living in a low-commitment relationship, and it’s hard to shift that kind of mental pattern.’”
Premarital sex and premarital cohabitation do not benefit the relationship; instead, it will bring a host of problems, challenges, and difficulties including not marrying the person with whom they had intercourse or with whom they live, including abuse to them or their children, and ultimately divorce. God’s plan for sex after marriage is best and healthiest and provides the best chances for lasting happiness.
Prayer: Father, bless the young and single who are tempted to enter into relationships and practice premarital sex and help them to not fall into a sin which will bring about life-lasting difficulties and challenges. May they enjoy the best and healthiest of relationships before and after their wedding.
Observation: Amnon, son of David, fell in love with his step-sister Tamar and plotted to have her come to his house under the pretense of being sick. While there, he forced her, maybe even raped her, but having accomplished his evil plot he despised her and rejected her altogether.
Application: I wish more single young people, teens and single young adults, would read this story and learn that it follows the pattern or most pre-marital relationships. I think this is particularly important for young ladies who surrender their virginity early with the desire to show their boyfriend their love, for fear they will loose them if they reject their advances, or in the hope they will keep them even while he pulls away from them. Those who believe in evolution would say that man is the hunter and when they have caught their prey they loose interest in them. Those of us who believe in God believe that once a woman has surrendered what is most sacred to her, men loose respect for them, and therefore they have no more interest in them. While young man think that having premarital sex will bring them closer together, more often than not it becomes an insurmountable barrier.
Several years ago there was an article in Time magazine about the report by the National Marriage Project, out of Rutgers University in New Jersey, which says that, “Cohabitating couples are more likely to experience a host of domestic problems — including, if they finally get marriage, divorce.
Last year in the U.S., more than 4 million unmarried heterosexual couples shacked up, in contrast to only half a million at the end of the supposedly free-spirited ‘60's. Though living together has become conventional, the report cites studies showing that these unions, in comparison to marriages, tend to have more episodes of domestic violence to women and physical and sexual abuse of children. It notes that annual rates of depression among unmarried couples are more than three times those of married couples.
The report contends that cohabitation reduces the likelihood of later wedded bliss. It quotes a 1992 study of 3,300 adults showing that those who had lived with a partner were 46% (it is now known to be 80%) more likely to divorce than those who had not. ‘The longer you cohabit, the more tolerant you are of divorce,’ says David Popenoe, the sociologist who co-wrote the study. ‘You are used to living in a low-commitment relationship, and it’s hard to shift that kind of mental pattern.’”
Premarital sex and premarital cohabitation do not benefit the relationship; instead, it will bring a host of problems, challenges, and difficulties including not marrying the person with whom they had intercourse or with whom they live, including abuse to them or their children, and ultimately divorce. God’s plan for sex after marriage is best and healthiest and provides the best chances for lasting happiness.
Prayer: Father, bless the young and single who are tempted to enter into relationships and practice premarital sex and help them to not fall into a sin which will bring about life-lasting difficulties and challenges. May they enjoy the best and healthiest of relationships before and after their wedding.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
She Despised Him
Scripture: (2 Sam 6:16 NKJV) Now as the ark of the LORD came into the City of David, Michal, Saul's daughter, looked through a window and saw King David leaping and whirling before the LORD; and she despised him in her heart.
Observation: With dancing and rejoicing David celebrated the return of the ark of God to Jerusalem. From a distance, his wife Michal watching and thought it disgraceful that the king would act that way instead of being more dignified. She criticized him, David became defensive, and to the end of their life did not enjoy a good marital relationship.
Application: In the relationship between David and Michal we can see some of the dynamics that bring about the destruction of a Marriage. Willard Harley, author of such books as Love Busters and His Needs, Her Needs, says that there are three states of Mind in Marriage. Michal and David exemplify the three states.
State # 1. INTIMACY
(1 Sam 18:20 NKJV) Now Michal, Saul's daughter, loved David. And they told Saul, and the thing pleased him.
David must have had feelings toward her, enough to go to war for her (1 Sam 18:27-28). Michael loved David enough to lie to protect him, even from her own father (1 Sam 19:11-18). Maybe the beginning of their downfall took place when Saul, her father, gave her in marriage to Paltiel, and maybe she learned to love her new husband (1 Sam 25:44).
State #2 - CONFLICT
John Gottman’s research suggests there are four ways of interacting that sabotage your attempts to communicate with your partner. One of what he calls The Four Horsemen of Marriages in Trouble is Criticism (illustrated in our text for today). Criticism involves attacking someone’s personality or character – rather than a specific behavior – usually with blame. Gottman also identified a second damaging way or horsemen which is contempt (also used by Michal in our text). Ellen White adds an interesting insight: “In the bitterness of her passion she could not await David's return to the palace, but went out to meet him, and to his kindly greeting poured forth a torrent of bitter words. Keen and cutting was the irony of her speech” {Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 708}. Michael couldn’t wait to pour cold water on David’s joy and enthusiasm and didn’t just criticized him for his actions but showed contempt for not behaving in a regal manner.
Gottman states that “what separates contempt from criticism is the intention to insult and psychologically abuse your partner. With your words and body language, you’re lobbing insults right into the heart of your partner’s sense of self. Fueling these contemptuous actions are negative thoughts about the partner – he or she is stupid, disgusting, incompetent, a fool.” You can almost hear Michal’s mocking tone and her twisted smile and the rolling of her eyes as she said to David, “How glorious was the king of Israel today, uncovering himself today in the eyes of the maids of his servants, as one of the base fellows shamelessly uncovers himself!” (2 Samuel 6:20 NKJV)
David, on the other hand, used the third of Gottman’s horsemen, Defensiveness. His anger and dismay at the “welcome” he received from his wife turned into anger and a defensive attack: (2 Sam 6:21-22 NKJV) So David said to Michal, "It was before the LORD, who chose me instead of your father and all his house, to appoint me ruler over the people of the LORD, over Israel. Therefore I will play music before the LORD. {22} "And I will be even more undignified than this, and will be humble in my own sight. But as for the maidservants of whom you have spoken, by them I will be held in honor."
State #3 - WITHDRAWAL
While it is not directly stated, the last words of this story tells us their marriage fell apart. It is possible that David used the fourth of Gottman’s horsemen, Stonewalling, and simply tuned her out completely. Regardless, they reached the third state of marriage as described by Harley, the state of Withdrawal and their marriage simply continued as existing together, but there was no love between them: “Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death” (2 Sam. 6:23).
How different their life might have been! Maybe it all began with a poor relationship with his father-in-law. Maybe it was another relationship, Michal’s marriage to Paltiel, that damaged her love for her hsuband David. Maybe it was David’s marriages to Abigail and others that interfered with his love for Michal. Maybe it was not caring for their relationship and sabotaging it so that they moved down the slide from Intimacy through conflict to withdrawal. I guess the question is, do you see yourself somewhere along that continuum? Do you see yourself sabotaging your relationship by using any or several or all of the “horsemen”? Learning and understanding about your situation is one important step on the way to healing, but the next steps you take will determine whether your marriage declines and dies or survives and thrives. Seek help, ask for help, pray for help, call for help; not taking a positive action will mean letting your marriage drown in the sea of divorce.
Prayer: Father, may what happened to David and Michal never happen to us in our marriage. Help us to take any and all the steps necessary to see that our marriage not only survives but thrives.
Observation: With dancing and rejoicing David celebrated the return of the ark of God to Jerusalem. From a distance, his wife Michal watching and thought it disgraceful that the king would act that way instead of being more dignified. She criticized him, David became defensive, and to the end of their life did not enjoy a good marital relationship.
Application: In the relationship between David and Michal we can see some of the dynamics that bring about the destruction of a Marriage. Willard Harley, author of such books as Love Busters and His Needs, Her Needs, says that there are three states of Mind in Marriage. Michal and David exemplify the three states.
State # 1. INTIMACY
(1 Sam 18:20 NKJV) Now Michal, Saul's daughter, loved David. And they told Saul, and the thing pleased him.
David must have had feelings toward her, enough to go to war for her (1 Sam 18:27-28). Michael loved David enough to lie to protect him, even from her own father (1 Sam 19:11-18). Maybe the beginning of their downfall took place when Saul, her father, gave her in marriage to Paltiel, and maybe she learned to love her new husband (1 Sam 25:44).
State #2 - CONFLICT
John Gottman’s research suggests there are four ways of interacting that sabotage your attempts to communicate with your partner. One of what he calls The Four Horsemen of Marriages in Trouble is Criticism (illustrated in our text for today). Criticism involves attacking someone’s personality or character – rather than a specific behavior – usually with blame. Gottman also identified a second damaging way or horsemen which is contempt (also used by Michal in our text). Ellen White adds an interesting insight: “In the bitterness of her passion she could not await David's return to the palace, but went out to meet him, and to his kindly greeting poured forth a torrent of bitter words. Keen and cutting was the irony of her speech” {Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 708}. Michael couldn’t wait to pour cold water on David’s joy and enthusiasm and didn’t just criticized him for his actions but showed contempt for not behaving in a regal manner.
Gottman states that “what separates contempt from criticism is the intention to insult and psychologically abuse your partner. With your words and body language, you’re lobbing insults right into the heart of your partner’s sense of self. Fueling these contemptuous actions are negative thoughts about the partner – he or she is stupid, disgusting, incompetent, a fool.” You can almost hear Michal’s mocking tone and her twisted smile and the rolling of her eyes as she said to David, “How glorious was the king of Israel today, uncovering himself today in the eyes of the maids of his servants, as one of the base fellows shamelessly uncovers himself!” (2 Samuel 6:20 NKJV)
David, on the other hand, used the third of Gottman’s horsemen, Defensiveness. His anger and dismay at the “welcome” he received from his wife turned into anger and a defensive attack: (2 Sam 6:21-22 NKJV) So David said to Michal, "It was before the LORD, who chose me instead of your father and all his house, to appoint me ruler over the people of the LORD, over Israel. Therefore I will play music before the LORD. {22} "And I will be even more undignified than this, and will be humble in my own sight. But as for the maidservants of whom you have spoken, by them I will be held in honor."
State #3 - WITHDRAWAL
While it is not directly stated, the last words of this story tells us their marriage fell apart. It is possible that David used the fourth of Gottman’s horsemen, Stonewalling, and simply tuned her out completely. Regardless, they reached the third state of marriage as described by Harley, the state of Withdrawal and their marriage simply continued as existing together, but there was no love between them: “Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death” (2 Sam. 6:23).
How different their life might have been! Maybe it all began with a poor relationship with his father-in-law. Maybe it was another relationship, Michal’s marriage to Paltiel, that damaged her love for her hsuband David. Maybe it was David’s marriages to Abigail and others that interfered with his love for Michal. Maybe it was not caring for their relationship and sabotaging it so that they moved down the slide from Intimacy through conflict to withdrawal. I guess the question is, do you see yourself somewhere along that continuum? Do you see yourself sabotaging your relationship by using any or several or all of the “horsemen”? Learning and understanding about your situation is one important step on the way to healing, but the next steps you take will determine whether your marriage declines and dies or survives and thrives. Seek help, ask for help, pray for help, call for help; not taking a positive action will mean letting your marriage drown in the sea of divorce.
Prayer: Father, may what happened to David and Michal never happen to us in our marriage. Help us to take any and all the steps necessary to see that our marriage not only survives but thrives.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Suicide Is Not Painless - April 6, 2009
Scripture: (1 Sam 31:4 NKJV) Then Saul said to his armorbearer, "Draw your sword, and thrust me through with it, lest these uncircumcised men come and thrust me through and abuse me." But his armorbearer would not, for he was greatly afraid. Therefore Saul took a sword and fell on it.
Observation: After the defeat before the Philistines and the death of his son Jonathan, Saul his situation as the fulfilment of the supposed seance with the late prophet Samuel. In the darkness of his soul, Saul could see no way out of his situation and asked his armor bearer to kill him. But when his armor bearer would not do it, Saul fell on his sword and took his own life.
Application: The first time I heard the lyrics of the movie and TV show M.A.S.H. I was shocked. The music is one of the best recognized and reminds us of a comedy based loosely on the real-life army hospital during the Korean War. But the lyrics, which were written for the movie, are shocking, and a horrible lie many have come to believe:
Through early morning fog I see
visions of the things to be
the pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see...
[REFRAIN]:
that suicide is painless
it brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.
I try to find a way to make
all our little joys relate
without that ever-present hate
but now I know that it's too late, and...
[REFRAIN]
The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
so this is all I have to say.
[REFRAIN]
The only way to win is cheat
And lay it down before I'm beat
and to another give my seat
for that's the only painless feat.
[REFRAIN]
The sword of time will pierce our skins
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger...watch it grin, but...
[REFRAIN]
A brave man once requested me
to answer questions that are key
is it to be or not to be
and I replied 'oh why ask me?'
[REFRAIN]
'Cause suicide is painless
it brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.
...and you can do the same thing if you please.
My brother-in-law was a deputy sheriff in his early thirties when he took his own life with his service gun. Eight years later, his family still suffers the consequences of his actions and every year at the anniversary of his death everyone in the family remembers with deep sorrow his actions and the void he left. While the person taking his/her life may think suicide is quick and painless, the consequences to anyone who knows them are most painful and last a lifetime.
If you have thoughts of suicide, these options are available to you:
* Dial: 911
* Dial: 1-800-273-TALK
* Check yourself into the emergency room.
* Tell someone who can help you find help immediately.
* Stay away from things that might hurt you.
* Most people can be treated with a combination of antidepressant medication and psychotherapy.
If You Don't Have Insurance
The following options might be used:
* Go to the nearest hospital emergency room.
* Look in your local Yellow Pages under Mental Health and/or Suicide Prevention; then call the mental health organizations/crisis phone lines that are listed. There may be clinics or counseling centers in your area operating on a sliding or no-fee scale.
* Some pharmaceutical companies have "Free Medication Programs" for those who qualify. Visit the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill website at www.nami.org for more information.
Prayer: Father, life is precious and the actions we take not only affect us but affect everyone around us. Loving God, help us to never consider ending our life but rather to seek the help that is available to us through many sources and from You. Help us to always treasure life, as Your gift to us, and as Your gift through us to others.
Observation: After the defeat before the Philistines and the death of his son Jonathan, Saul his situation as the fulfilment of the supposed seance with the late prophet Samuel. In the darkness of his soul, Saul could see no way out of his situation and asked his armor bearer to kill him. But when his armor bearer would not do it, Saul fell on his sword and took his own life.
Application: The first time I heard the lyrics of the movie and TV show M.A.S.H. I was shocked. The music is one of the best recognized and reminds us of a comedy based loosely on the real-life army hospital during the Korean War. But the lyrics, which were written for the movie, are shocking, and a horrible lie many have come to believe:
Through early morning fog I see
visions of the things to be
the pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see...
[REFRAIN]:
that suicide is painless
it brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.
I try to find a way to make
all our little joys relate
without that ever-present hate
but now I know that it's too late, and...
[REFRAIN]
The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
so this is all I have to say.
[REFRAIN]
The only way to win is cheat
And lay it down before I'm beat
and to another give my seat
for that's the only painless feat.
[REFRAIN]
The sword of time will pierce our skins
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger...watch it grin, but...
[REFRAIN]
A brave man once requested me
to answer questions that are key
is it to be or not to be
and I replied 'oh why ask me?'
[REFRAIN]
'Cause suicide is painless
it brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.
...and you can do the same thing if you please.
My brother-in-law was a deputy sheriff in his early thirties when he took his own life with his service gun. Eight years later, his family still suffers the consequences of his actions and every year at the anniversary of his death everyone in the family remembers with deep sorrow his actions and the void he left. While the person taking his/her life may think suicide is quick and painless, the consequences to anyone who knows them are most painful and last a lifetime.
If you have thoughts of suicide, these options are available to you:
* Dial: 911
* Dial: 1-800-273-TALK
* Check yourself into the emergency room.
* Tell someone who can help you find help immediately.
* Stay away from things that might hurt you.
* Most people can be treated with a combination of antidepressant medication and psychotherapy.
If You Don't Have Insurance
The following options might be used:
* Go to the nearest hospital emergency room.
* Look in your local Yellow Pages under Mental Health and/or Suicide Prevention; then call the mental health organizations/crisis phone lines that are listed. There may be clinics or counseling centers in your area operating on a sliding or no-fee scale.
* Some pharmaceutical companies have "Free Medication Programs" for those who qualify. Visit the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill website at www.nami.org for more information.
Prayer: Father, life is precious and the actions we take not only affect us but affect everyone around us. Loving God, help us to never consider ending our life but rather to seek the help that is available to us through many sources and from You. Help us to always treasure life, as Your gift to us, and as Your gift through us to others.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
A Good WIfe - April 5, 2009
Scripture: (1 Sam 25:3 NKJV) The name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. And she was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance; but the man was harsh and evil in his doings. And he was of the house of Caleb.
Observation: Nabal was a very wealthy man, financially, but a very foolish, even wicked, man. David and his men had been protecting Nabal’s people, so David requested help in the form of supplies. Nabal’s lack of wisdom showed in denying David what he requested thus also demonstrating lack of gratitude. On the other hand, Abigail, Nabal’s wife, is described as being wise and beautiful. She understood not only how David had protected her husband’s servants, and as a result alla of them, but she also understood that if the wrong steps were taken David cold easily destroy them all, which in fact would have happened had she not intervened.
After she gathered provisions for David and his men, and presented them to him, David was grateful and spared Nabal and all his people. Nabal, on the other hand, was partying at home and since he was drunk Abigail chose not to tell him what all had transpired until he was sober. After Abigail told Nabal, he basically lost his life until eventually he did die. David, appreciating Abigail’s beauty and wisdom, asked her to become his wife. Again showing her wisdom, Abigail accepted with words that also show her humility: “Then she arose, bowed her face to the earth, and said, "Here is your maidservant, a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord” (vs.41).
Application: There are, in this story, three characteristics of a good wife:
1. Physical Beauty: Men, by nature, are more visual and are therefore attracted, first of all, to the physical attributes of a woman. While these vary from culture to culture and from man to man, in general terms men look at the outward appearance of a woman before they consider any other of her attributes. Willard Harley, in his book His Needs, Her Needs, even goes as far as to say that having an attractive spouse is one of the most important emotional needs of a man.
2. Wisdom (or good understanding): Although physical beauty attracts men at first, there’s a point at which we know there’s more to it than that and we want to have a wife with whom we can share our thoughts, our feelings, our goals and plans for the future, someone who can understand us and will support and encourage us.
3. Humility: Men still long to be the protector and provider of the home and to have his wife follow his leadership. Harley also says that one other important emotional need of man is to have his wife’s admiration and respect. A good wife may be as gifted and talented as her husband, or even more so. But a wise, humble wife will still express appreciation and admiration for her husband so he won’t feel inferior to her.
I suppose we could try to find the wife that meets all the characteristics of the woman in Proverbs 31, a nearly impossible task, or we can begin by looking for such a woman as Abigail, or if you’re a woman you can begin by putting these three attributes into practice in your life; you will like it, and your husband will love you even more.
Prayer: Father, thank You for making us the way we are and for showing us that our differences can be complimentary of each other for our mutual benefit.
Observation: Nabal was a very wealthy man, financially, but a very foolish, even wicked, man. David and his men had been protecting Nabal’s people, so David requested help in the form of supplies. Nabal’s lack of wisdom showed in denying David what he requested thus also demonstrating lack of gratitude. On the other hand, Abigail, Nabal’s wife, is described as being wise and beautiful. She understood not only how David had protected her husband’s servants, and as a result alla of them, but she also understood that if the wrong steps were taken David cold easily destroy them all, which in fact would have happened had she not intervened.
After she gathered provisions for David and his men, and presented them to him, David was grateful and spared Nabal and all his people. Nabal, on the other hand, was partying at home and since he was drunk Abigail chose not to tell him what all had transpired until he was sober. After Abigail told Nabal, he basically lost his life until eventually he did die. David, appreciating Abigail’s beauty and wisdom, asked her to become his wife. Again showing her wisdom, Abigail accepted with words that also show her humility: “Then she arose, bowed her face to the earth, and said, "Here is your maidservant, a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord” (vs.41).
Application: There are, in this story, three characteristics of a good wife:
1. Physical Beauty: Men, by nature, are more visual and are therefore attracted, first of all, to the physical attributes of a woman. While these vary from culture to culture and from man to man, in general terms men look at the outward appearance of a woman before they consider any other of her attributes. Willard Harley, in his book His Needs, Her Needs, even goes as far as to say that having an attractive spouse is one of the most important emotional needs of a man.
2. Wisdom (or good understanding): Although physical beauty attracts men at first, there’s a point at which we know there’s more to it than that and we want to have a wife with whom we can share our thoughts, our feelings, our goals and plans for the future, someone who can understand us and will support and encourage us.
3. Humility: Men still long to be the protector and provider of the home and to have his wife follow his leadership. Harley also says that one other important emotional need of man is to have his wife’s admiration and respect. A good wife may be as gifted and talented as her husband, or even more so. But a wise, humble wife will still express appreciation and admiration for her husband so he won’t feel inferior to her.
I suppose we could try to find the wife that meets all the characteristics of the woman in Proverbs 31, a nearly impossible task, or we can begin by looking for such a woman as Abigail, or if you’re a woman you can begin by putting these three attributes into practice in your life; you will like it, and your husband will love you even more.
Prayer: Father, thank You for making us the way we are and for showing us that our differences can be complimentary of each other for our mutual benefit.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
The Lost Virtue - April 4, 2009
Scripture: (1 Sam 24:6 NKJV) And he said to his men, "The LORD forbid that I should do this thing to my master, the Lord's anointed, to stretch out my hand against him, seeing he is the anointed of the LORD."
Observation: Saul, driven by anger and jealousy, was pursuing David to kill him. In one of his stops Saul went into a cave to rest, but it so happened that it was the same cave where David and his men had gone in to hide. As Saul slept, David’s men urged him to kill the king with the argument that God had delivered Saul into David’s hand. David would not kill the king and instead restrained his men with the words of our text for today.
Application: When I was growing up, in school we all had to stand anytime a person of authority would walk into the classroom. When the teacher walked in to begin class, we’d stand in a show of respect. When the principal or vice principal would walk in, we would all stand to show them respect. This was done not just by students in the elementary school but all those up to the twelve grade. Respect!
But it wasn’t just people in positions of authority that we needed to show respect; we were taught to show respect and to be polite to everyone. My parents taught us to always greet everyone with a “Good Morning,” “good afternoon,” etc., regardless of who they were. When I went to one of my friends’ house and the maid opened the door, we were to greet her respectfully. In a society where there are great differences in social class and status, we were taught to respect everyone and treat them properly regardless of their social status.
Respect is not limited to some cultures or some countries. My father-in-law was a perfect example of someone who showed respect. Living in the south, where prejudice and racial differences were strong (and still is in many places), George hired African-Americans to work for him, and always treated them fairly and respectfully. One of the best tributes we saw and heard at his funeral was from those men who had worked for him through the years speak of him more like a father to them than simply their boss. I was the recipient of his respect as well. As a young man, married to his oldest daughter, he treated me from the first day we were dating as a member of the family. He asked my advice, share with me his thoughts and feelings, talked about his concerns. After he was diagnosed with brain cancer, he had his will drawn up. I remember we were visiting Pam’s family for the weekend and while the ladies were out shopping, he came to me, showed me his will, and asked for my opinion, as to whether I thought he was being fair and correct in the decisions for his estate. Not only did I think he was indeed fair in his decisions, but the act of asking me, someone a couple of decades his junior, for my opinion showed me his care and respect for me.
We seem to have lost the virtue of respect in our day. Today, it is people in authority that are always wrong – at least that’s the message we transmit to our children. Teachers are wrong for giving too much or too little homework, or for not giving our children the highest grade, even if they didn’t do the work that deserved that grade. Police officers are always wrong for arresting someone, even if that person hurt, killed, or threatened to kill them or someone else. It’s as if we have come to the place where our children must be right or we must be right and everybody else therefore has to be wrong.
For me, David’s actions with Saul showed that you can show respect even to your enemies or to those that treat you wrongly; it doesn’t make you any less than they are.
Prayer: Father, help us to rediscover the lost virtue of respect and to teach it to our children.
Observation: Saul, driven by anger and jealousy, was pursuing David to kill him. In one of his stops Saul went into a cave to rest, but it so happened that it was the same cave where David and his men had gone in to hide. As Saul slept, David’s men urged him to kill the king with the argument that God had delivered Saul into David’s hand. David would not kill the king and instead restrained his men with the words of our text for today.
Application: When I was growing up, in school we all had to stand anytime a person of authority would walk into the classroom. When the teacher walked in to begin class, we’d stand in a show of respect. When the principal or vice principal would walk in, we would all stand to show them respect. This was done not just by students in the elementary school but all those up to the twelve grade. Respect!
But it wasn’t just people in positions of authority that we needed to show respect; we were taught to show respect and to be polite to everyone. My parents taught us to always greet everyone with a “Good Morning,” “good afternoon,” etc., regardless of who they were. When I went to one of my friends’ house and the maid opened the door, we were to greet her respectfully. In a society where there are great differences in social class and status, we were taught to respect everyone and treat them properly regardless of their social status.
Respect is not limited to some cultures or some countries. My father-in-law was a perfect example of someone who showed respect. Living in the south, where prejudice and racial differences were strong (and still is in many places), George hired African-Americans to work for him, and always treated them fairly and respectfully. One of the best tributes we saw and heard at his funeral was from those men who had worked for him through the years speak of him more like a father to them than simply their boss. I was the recipient of his respect as well. As a young man, married to his oldest daughter, he treated me from the first day we were dating as a member of the family. He asked my advice, share with me his thoughts and feelings, talked about his concerns. After he was diagnosed with brain cancer, he had his will drawn up. I remember we were visiting Pam’s family for the weekend and while the ladies were out shopping, he came to me, showed me his will, and asked for my opinion, as to whether I thought he was being fair and correct in the decisions for his estate. Not only did I think he was indeed fair in his decisions, but the act of asking me, someone a couple of decades his junior, for my opinion showed me his care and respect for me.
We seem to have lost the virtue of respect in our day. Today, it is people in authority that are always wrong – at least that’s the message we transmit to our children. Teachers are wrong for giving too much or too little homework, or for not giving our children the highest grade, even if they didn’t do the work that deserved that grade. Police officers are always wrong for arresting someone, even if that person hurt, killed, or threatened to kill them or someone else. It’s as if we have come to the place where our children must be right or we must be right and everybody else therefore has to be wrong.
For me, David’s actions with Saul showed that you can show respect even to your enemies or to those that treat you wrongly; it doesn’t make you any less than they are.
Prayer: Father, help us to rediscover the lost virtue of respect and to teach it to our children.
Friday, April 3, 2009
A Treasured Friendship - April 3, 2009
Scripture: (1 Sam 20:41-42 NKJV) As soon as the lad had gone, David arose from a place toward the south, fell on his face to the ground, and bowed down three times. And they kissed one another; and they wept together, but David more so. {42} Then Jonathan said to David, "Go in peace, since we have both sworn in the name of the LORD, saying, 'May the LORD be between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants, forever.' " So he arose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city.
Observation: The friendship between David and Jonathan is among the best known in history. Jonathan was willing to receive the wrath of his own father and maybe even be vanished from his presence to protect his best friend David, and at the end he found the way to help David flee so he would not be killed by his father, King Saul.
Application: There is another story of antiquity that has become a classic illustration of true friendship, it’s the story of Damon and Pythias:
THERE lived in those days in Syracuse two young men called Damon and Pythias. They were very good friends, and loved each other so dearly that they were hardly ever seen apart. Now it happened that Pythias in some way roused the anger of the tyrant, who put him in prison, and condemned him to die in a few days. When Damon heard of it, he was in despair, and vainly tried to obtain his friend's pardon and release.
The mother of Pythias was very old, and lived far away from Syracuse with her daughter. When the young man heard that he was to die, he was tormented by the thought of leaving the women alone. In an interview with his friend Damon, Pythias regretfully said that he would die easier had he only been able to bid his mother good-by and find a protector for his sister. Damon, anxious to gratify his friend's last wish, went into the presence of the tyrant, and proposed to take the place of Pythias in prison, and even on the cross, if need be, provided the latter were allowed to visit his relatives once more.
Dionysius had heard of the young men's touching friendship, and hated them both merely because they were good; yet he allowed them to change places, warning them both however, that, if Pythias were not back in time, Damon would have to die in his stead. At first Pythias refused to allow his friend to take his place in prison, but finally he consented, promising to be back in a few days to release him. So Pythias hastened home, found a husband for his sister, and saw her safely married. Then after providing for his mother and bidding her farewell, he set out to return to Syracuse.
The young man was traveling alone and on foot. He soon fell into the hands of thieves, who bound him fast to a tree; and it was only after hours of desperate struggling that he managed to wrench himself free once more, and sped along his way. He was running as hard as he could to make up for lost time, when he came to the edge of a stream. He had crossed it easily a few days before; but a sudden spring freshet had changed it into a raging torrent, which no one else would have ventured to enter. In spite of the danger, Pythias plunged into the water, and, nerved by the fear that his friend would die in his stead, he fought the waves so successfully that he reached the other side safe but almost exhausted.
Regardless of his pains, Pythias pressed anxiously onward, although his road now lay across a plain, where the hot rays of the sun and the burning sands greatly increased his fatigue and faintness, and almost made him die of thirst. Still he sped onward as fast as his trembling limbs could carry him; for the sun was sinking fast, and he knew that his friend would die if he were not in Syracuse by sunset.
Dionysius, in the mean while, had been amusing himself by taunting Damon, constantly telling him that he was a fool to have risked his life for a friend, however dear. To anger him, he also insisted that Pythias was only too glad to escape death, and would be very careful not to return in time. Damon, who knew the goodness and affection of his friend, received these remarks with the scorn they deserved, and repeated again and again that he knew Pythias would never break his word, but would be back in time, unless hindered in some unforeseen way.
The last hour came. The guards led Damon to the place of crucifixion, where he again asserted his faith in his friend, adding, however, that he sincerely hoped Pythias would come too late, so that he might die in his stead.
Just as the guards were about to nail Damon to the cross, Pythias dashed up, pale, bloodstained, and disheveled, and flung his arms around his friend's neck with a sob of relief. For the first time, Damon now turned pale, and began to shed tears of bitter regret. In a few hurried, panting words, Pythias explained the cause of his delay, and, loosing his friend's bonds with his own hands, bade the guards bind him instead.
Dionysius, who had come to see the execution, was so touched by this true friendship, that for once he forgot his cruelty, and let both young men go free, saying that he would not have believed such devotion possible had he not seen it with his own eyes.
I have been blessed to have such a friend. We have shared our friendship for nearly forty years, in two countries, through sad painful events like the death of my and her father, to joyful events like my wedding to Pam and her wedding to her husband to the birth of our two and her two daughters, to the wedding of one of her daughters, which I had the joy to perform almost two years ago. Together our families have spent good times together, we have had many phone conversations to share in our successes or to cry over our distresses. As a typical introvert that I am, my true friends are very few, but very faithful. Acquaintances we may have many, but true friends are few, and very special. Treasure your friends, cultivate that friendship, nurture it through time and effort.
Prayer: Father, thank You for my friend. Bless her, her husband, her daughters. Keep them in your loving arms, protect them, and give them good health that we may continue to enjoy our friendship for many years to come.
Observation: The friendship between David and Jonathan is among the best known in history. Jonathan was willing to receive the wrath of his own father and maybe even be vanished from his presence to protect his best friend David, and at the end he found the way to help David flee so he would not be killed by his father, King Saul.
Application: There is another story of antiquity that has become a classic illustration of true friendship, it’s the story of Damon and Pythias:
THERE lived in those days in Syracuse two young men called Damon and Pythias. They were very good friends, and loved each other so dearly that they were hardly ever seen apart. Now it happened that Pythias in some way roused the anger of the tyrant, who put him in prison, and condemned him to die in a few days. When Damon heard of it, he was in despair, and vainly tried to obtain his friend's pardon and release.
The mother of Pythias was very old, and lived far away from Syracuse with her daughter. When the young man heard that he was to die, he was tormented by the thought of leaving the women alone. In an interview with his friend Damon, Pythias regretfully said that he would die easier had he only been able to bid his mother good-by and find a protector for his sister. Damon, anxious to gratify his friend's last wish, went into the presence of the tyrant, and proposed to take the place of Pythias in prison, and even on the cross, if need be, provided the latter were allowed to visit his relatives once more.
Dionysius had heard of the young men's touching friendship, and hated them both merely because they were good; yet he allowed them to change places, warning them both however, that, if Pythias were not back in time, Damon would have to die in his stead. At first Pythias refused to allow his friend to take his place in prison, but finally he consented, promising to be back in a few days to release him. So Pythias hastened home, found a husband for his sister, and saw her safely married. Then after providing for his mother and bidding her farewell, he set out to return to Syracuse.
The young man was traveling alone and on foot. He soon fell into the hands of thieves, who bound him fast to a tree; and it was only after hours of desperate struggling that he managed to wrench himself free once more, and sped along his way. He was running as hard as he could to make up for lost time, when he came to the edge of a stream. He had crossed it easily a few days before; but a sudden spring freshet had changed it into a raging torrent, which no one else would have ventured to enter. In spite of the danger, Pythias plunged into the water, and, nerved by the fear that his friend would die in his stead, he fought the waves so successfully that he reached the other side safe but almost exhausted.
Regardless of his pains, Pythias pressed anxiously onward, although his road now lay across a plain, where the hot rays of the sun and the burning sands greatly increased his fatigue and faintness, and almost made him die of thirst. Still he sped onward as fast as his trembling limbs could carry him; for the sun was sinking fast, and he knew that his friend would die if he were not in Syracuse by sunset.
Dionysius, in the mean while, had been amusing himself by taunting Damon, constantly telling him that he was a fool to have risked his life for a friend, however dear. To anger him, he also insisted that Pythias was only too glad to escape death, and would be very careful not to return in time. Damon, who knew the goodness and affection of his friend, received these remarks with the scorn they deserved, and repeated again and again that he knew Pythias would never break his word, but would be back in time, unless hindered in some unforeseen way.
The last hour came. The guards led Damon to the place of crucifixion, where he again asserted his faith in his friend, adding, however, that he sincerely hoped Pythias would come too late, so that he might die in his stead.
Just as the guards were about to nail Damon to the cross, Pythias dashed up, pale, bloodstained, and disheveled, and flung his arms around his friend's neck with a sob of relief. For the first time, Damon now turned pale, and began to shed tears of bitter regret. In a few hurried, panting words, Pythias explained the cause of his delay, and, loosing his friend's bonds with his own hands, bade the guards bind him instead.
Dionysius, who had come to see the execution, was so touched by this true friendship, that for once he forgot his cruelty, and let both young men go free, saying that he would not have believed such devotion possible had he not seen it with his own eyes.
I have been blessed to have such a friend. We have shared our friendship for nearly forty years, in two countries, through sad painful events like the death of my and her father, to joyful events like my wedding to Pam and her wedding to her husband to the birth of our two and her two daughters, to the wedding of one of her daughters, which I had the joy to perform almost two years ago. Together our families have spent good times together, we have had many phone conversations to share in our successes or to cry over our distresses. As a typical introvert that I am, my true friends are very few, but very faithful. Acquaintances we may have many, but true friends are few, and very special. Treasure your friends, cultivate that friendship, nurture it through time and effort.
Prayer: Father, thank You for my friend. Bless her, her husband, her daughters. Keep them in your loving arms, protect them, and give them good health that we may continue to enjoy our friendship for many years to come.
Facing the Economic Giants - April 2, 2009
Scripture: (1 Sam 17:45-47 NKJV) Then David said to the Philistine, "You come to me with a sword, with a spear, and with a javelin. But I come to you in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. {46} "This day the LORD will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you and take your head from you. And this day I will give the carcasses of the camp of the Philistines to the birds of the air and the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel. {47} "Then all this assembly shall know that the LORD does not save with sword and spear; for the battle is the Lord's, and He will give you into our hands."
Observation: Goliath, the Philistine giant, taunted the Israelites and their God. David, who had come to bring some food for his brothers accepted Goliath’s challenge. Both sides of the battle field were drawn and watched as the two contenders came face to face: on the one side Goliath, a large man with great experience in battle; on the other, young shepherd David. Goliath, presumptuous and arrogant, threatened David, and being self-confident, he took his helmet off. David, whose faith was child-like, relied not on the king’s armor by on God’s power to defeat this giant. David used what he was skilled at and what was at hand – a sling and five smooth stones, but all he needed was one which found it’s target on the head of the giant who fell down and was decapitated by David.
Application: We not have to battle a Goliath, but during these times of economic uncertainties, high unemployment, etc., just surviving seems like we’re fighting an invincible giant. I have some suggestions that could help you, if you apply them to your personal and family finances:
1. Transfer Ownership of Everything to God.
All things that we have belong to God; we are the stewards! Nothing really belonged to us. Our house, cars, clothing, children, and jobs were all gifts from a loving father and we were simply stewards of those gifts. A steward knows that his responsibility is to care for the possessions of the owner. He never sees them as his own. God gives to us not so we can possess, keep, and hoard them, but so that we can be vessels and pipelines of His blessing to others. When we are trustworthy, it makes it possible for Him to bless us even more. His ownership has a single goal: to use all of His resources to be a blessing to His children.
2. Tithe and Give Offerings Joyously.
You don't have to understand all about how tithing works; you just need to know that it does. Read 2 Corinthians 9:6-8. God "prefers" our giving and tithing to be accompanied by which characteristic?
3. Work Hard.
God intended us to learn this important value of character. According to God's plan for the family, we are to earn our bread by the toil and sweat of our brow. Work is satisfying, molds character, and develops gratitude, appreciation, and value.
4. Make a Realistic Budget and Keep Accurate Records.
The culprit in family finance problems is not the big-ticket items. It is the steady drip, drip, drip of spending on little purchases that no one tracks. You hit the ATM machine all weekend and end up broke on Monday with no idea where the money went. The absence of an accurate record of spending keeps couples from making good financial decisions.
5. Get out from under the Bondage of Debt.
Your attitude toward money will make a huge difference in the success or failure of your family. A familiar phrase from wedding ceremonies, '"Til death us do part," has tragically become, "Til debt us do part!" If you have credit card bills which have built up to thousands of dollars, and you no longer even have the disposable items that created the debt, that is the bondage debt about which we speak. If the item for which you went into debt does not provide collateral that is worth more than the indebtedness held against it, you have a problem in the making. To get out of debt, follow these principles:
• Pay Your Bills.
• Get Help.
• Change Your Lifestyle.
May you be victorious as you battle the economic giant that threaten to consume us and our family.
Prayer: Father, everything there is belongs to You and yet You give us so much of it for our benefit. May we never forget to return joyfully the small portion You require of us, and help us to give generously so that others may come to know You.
Observation: Goliath, the Philistine giant, taunted the Israelites and their God. David, who had come to bring some food for his brothers accepted Goliath’s challenge. Both sides of the battle field were drawn and watched as the two contenders came face to face: on the one side Goliath, a large man with great experience in battle; on the other, young shepherd David. Goliath, presumptuous and arrogant, threatened David, and being self-confident, he took his helmet off. David, whose faith was child-like, relied not on the king’s armor by on God’s power to defeat this giant. David used what he was skilled at and what was at hand – a sling and five smooth stones, but all he needed was one which found it’s target on the head of the giant who fell down and was decapitated by David.
Application: We not have to battle a Goliath, but during these times of economic uncertainties, high unemployment, etc., just surviving seems like we’re fighting an invincible giant. I have some suggestions that could help you, if you apply them to your personal and family finances:
1. Transfer Ownership of Everything to God.
All things that we have belong to God; we are the stewards! Nothing really belonged to us. Our house, cars, clothing, children, and jobs were all gifts from a loving father and we were simply stewards of those gifts. A steward knows that his responsibility is to care for the possessions of the owner. He never sees them as his own. God gives to us not so we can possess, keep, and hoard them, but so that we can be vessels and pipelines of His blessing to others. When we are trustworthy, it makes it possible for Him to bless us even more. His ownership has a single goal: to use all of His resources to be a blessing to His children.
2. Tithe and Give Offerings Joyously.
You don't have to understand all about how tithing works; you just need to know that it does. Read 2 Corinthians 9:6-8. God "prefers" our giving and tithing to be accompanied by which characteristic?
3. Work Hard.
God intended us to learn this important value of character. According to God's plan for the family, we are to earn our bread by the toil and sweat of our brow. Work is satisfying, molds character, and develops gratitude, appreciation, and value.
4. Make a Realistic Budget and Keep Accurate Records.
The culprit in family finance problems is not the big-ticket items. It is the steady drip, drip, drip of spending on little purchases that no one tracks. You hit the ATM machine all weekend and end up broke on Monday with no idea where the money went. The absence of an accurate record of spending keeps couples from making good financial decisions.
5. Get out from under the Bondage of Debt.
Your attitude toward money will make a huge difference in the success or failure of your family. A familiar phrase from wedding ceremonies, '"Til death us do part," has tragically become, "Til debt us do part!" If you have credit card bills which have built up to thousands of dollars, and you no longer even have the disposable items that created the debt, that is the bondage debt about which we speak. If the item for which you went into debt does not provide collateral that is worth more than the indebtedness held against it, you have a problem in the making. To get out of debt, follow these principles:
• Pay Your Bills.
• Get Help.
• Change Your Lifestyle.
May you be victorious as you battle the economic giant that threaten to consume us and our family.
Prayer: Father, everything there is belongs to You and yet You give us so much of it for our benefit. May we never forget to return joyfully the small portion You require of us, and help us to give generously so that others may come to know You.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Young, but Chosen - April 1, 2009
Scripture: (1 Sam 16:11-12 NIV) So he asked Jesse, "Are these all the sons you have?" "There is still the youngest," Jesse answered, "but he is tending the sheep." Samuel said, "Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives." {12} So he sent and had him brought in. He was ruddy, with a fine appearance and handsome features. Then the LORD said, "Rise and anoint him; he is the one."
Observation: After God rejected Saul, or better, after Saul rejected God, Samuel was instructed to anoint the next king of Israel. God directed Samuel to the home of Jesse who made six of his seven children parade in front of the prophet who chose none of them. After inquiring as to whether there were any other children, he was told about the youngest one, tending the flocks in the field at the moment. When the youngest son, David, came in, immediately Samuel identified him as the successor to Saul, and the second king of Israel.
Application: The youngest child in a family can take a lot from his/her older siblings. In many cases, by the time the hand-me-downs they’ve been worn by so many older siblings that they look pitiful, and the toys, books, and furniture are not in the best of shape either. They have to compete with older siblings for everything from school, to sports, and even for their parent’s attention, and for their entire life they be seen as the “baby” of the family.
At the same time, since they seem unable to compete with their older siblings in other areas because they are taller, faster, more knowledgeable, they excel in other areas, among them, in the area of laughter – from an early age they learn that when they act in certain ways they draw attention to themselves, and they love being the center of attention. This leads them to clown around, tell funny stories, and do all they can to make others laugh and thus be the life of every party. No wonder so many actors and comedians are the last-born of the family.
Paul wrote to young pastor Timothy: “Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” (1 Tim 4:12 NKJV) For those of us who have some of the characteristics of the last-born and enjoy humor and laughter, we can identify with David who was a singer (entertainer?), and with the fact that his older siblings did not take him seriously (see 1 Samuel 17:28). But God doesn’t see younger children or the last-born child as unnecessary, unskilled, or unimportant. In fact, with God’s guidance, and the natural gift of laughter, a younger person can do great things – just look at king David!
Prayer: Father, may our conduct be such that others may respect who we are and what we do and thus be able to help others come to You.
Observation: After God rejected Saul, or better, after Saul rejected God, Samuel was instructed to anoint the next king of Israel. God directed Samuel to the home of Jesse who made six of his seven children parade in front of the prophet who chose none of them. After inquiring as to whether there were any other children, he was told about the youngest one, tending the flocks in the field at the moment. When the youngest son, David, came in, immediately Samuel identified him as the successor to Saul, and the second king of Israel.
Application: The youngest child in a family can take a lot from his/her older siblings. In many cases, by the time the hand-me-downs they’ve been worn by so many older siblings that they look pitiful, and the toys, books, and furniture are not in the best of shape either. They have to compete with older siblings for everything from school, to sports, and even for their parent’s attention, and for their entire life they be seen as the “baby” of the family.
At the same time, since they seem unable to compete with their older siblings in other areas because they are taller, faster, more knowledgeable, they excel in other areas, among them, in the area of laughter – from an early age they learn that when they act in certain ways they draw attention to themselves, and they love being the center of attention. This leads them to clown around, tell funny stories, and do all they can to make others laugh and thus be the life of every party. No wonder so many actors and comedians are the last-born of the family.
Paul wrote to young pastor Timothy: “Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” (1 Tim 4:12 NKJV) For those of us who have some of the characteristics of the last-born and enjoy humor and laughter, we can identify with David who was a singer (entertainer?), and with the fact that his older siblings did not take him seriously (see 1 Samuel 17:28). But God doesn’t see younger children or the last-born child as unnecessary, unskilled, or unimportant. In fact, with God’s guidance, and the natural gift of laughter, a younger person can do great things – just look at king David!
Prayer: Father, may our conduct be such that others may respect who we are and what we do and thus be able to help others come to You.
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